The Night I Became The Forbidden Mate

Words Left Unspoken

POV: Kaelira

The daylight was too soon.

I hadn’t slept.

Whenever I made an attempt, the same pictures came back, the cabin, the mark, the ceremony. Draeven standing next to Serenya as though there had never been anything. Serenya smiling, and not knowing that I had anything to withhold on her.

I took a quick bath, got dressed and headed downstairs.

The palace was not as noisy as the previous night, yet it was not peaceful. It was controlled. Each movement was intentional, each voice quantified. It was no celebration. It was presentation. The new Alpha and Luna would be viewed, recognized and welcomed.

And I was forced to watch it all.

I lingered at the entrance of the banquet hall and then entered. The long table was already in readiness, and was crowded with elders, advisors, and members of the family of Draeven. They were now and then distracted by the center, where Serenya and Draeven sat together.

I had to go on, and sat down further down the table where I could not attract notice.

Nevertheless, I found myself continually returning to them.

I didn’t want to look.

I couldn’t stop.

Serenya sat straight up, as usual, however, and there was something new about her. Something lighter. Her face was not only serene, but satisfied. A happy silence was there that had never been there before.

Draeven was sitting next her, and his attitude was easy, yet restrained, and his presence was commanding even when he was not speaking. He addressed the elders now and then, and his voice was even, his words judicious.

He was just as he had been in the ceremony.

Untouched.

Unaffected.

Like nothing had ever happened to the night in that cabin.

My heart sank a notch.

I turned my head away, and looked at the table before me. But it had not long to last.

There was something that struck me.

It was at first subtle. Only a slight gesture as Serenya turned her head just a little as she addressed one of the elders.

But it was enough.

I turned my eyes back to her.

And then I saw it.

The mark.

A mate mark.

My stomach dropped.

The relationship was fulfilled.

There was none in it. No delay. Whatever had been my doubts, whatever had been the little that had hoped in me--

It was no longer important.

This was real.

This was done.

I turned my head again, more hastily, my mind busy.

What was I now to say?

And what was I to do, standing in the presence of her, and say to her the truth, when she was sitting there, with his mark upon her, and thinking in something which was already broken before it ever started?

Today is the start of our new era as a pack.

My thoughts were interrupted by the voice of Morlena.

I glanced up against my will.

She was standing just in front of the head of the table and she was straight with a proud face facing the room.

“This marriage of our Alpha and Luna makes our leadership stronger, as well as our future,” she said. “The religious union is made, as custom dictates, and we shall enter upon the next step.”

A few of the elders nodded in approval.

“Soon, the prayer ceremony will take place,” Morlena added. “It will celebrate their marriage and guarantee further blessing of the Moon Goddess to this pack.”

The room buzzed in assent.

I felt a tight feeling in my chest.

The prayer ceremony.

Another step. Another layer.

A second occasion that would complicate the truth telling.

I dropped my eyes, and my hands lay motionless on the table as I strove to think logically.

Suppose I were to say it now, and here, and before all the people--

No.

That would ruin it all in a wink.

Serenya was more than that.

She had a right to know it out of me.

Alone.

But wait too long I might.

Once more I was thinking, and going round and round the same question.

When?

At what time was the proper time to snap something like this?

The table talk was gradually resumed, but I hardly caught a word of it.

My mind had determined.

I would tell her.

Following the prayer session.

That would be the last moment.

The final point at which I could talk without disemboweling the whole pack in front of the entire pack.

It wasn’t a good solution.

It wasn’t a safe one.

But it was all I had.

The feast finally came to a stop but I did not recall a majority of it. I rose when all rose, I walked when they walked, and I quitted the hall without even saying good-bye to a soul.

I needed space.

I needed to think.

I went back to my chambers, and shut the door behind me, and leaned against it a moment, as the silence settled round me.

This was my chance.

Had I not said it now I might never be able to say it.

I threw myself away at the door and started to pacing the room, my mind going more rapidly than I could arrange it.

“So what am I to say?” I mumbled to myself.

The words were unattainable.

No means of making them soft. No means of rendering them easier.

I paused in the middle of the room and pushed the hair up and down, attempting to make the thoughts come out in a way that made sense.

“I have something to say to you, Serenya.”

No.

It was too easy. Too vague.

I shook my head and re-tried.

“I didn’t know who he was.”

That sounded worse.

It was like an excuse.

I sighed, aggravated.

“This isn’t working,” I said to myself.

I paced about, and walked back and forth, seeking the proper point of telling her the truth, the proper manner of uttering something that had no proper manner of uttering.

I did not intend it to occur.

Still wrong.

Everything sounded wrong.

Everything felt wrong.

I was interrupted by a knock at the door. I froze. I thought of disregarding it a moment. But just in time the door opened and I had not made up my mind.

Serenya stepped inside.

I drew myself up, and my heart began to beat once more.

She looked… happy.

She wore a gentle expression, and sat with a carelessness which I had not seen in a long time. She shut the door behind her, and made a step into the room without a second thought.

“I have been seeking you,” she said.

“I had to come back in,” I responded, which was more steady than I felt.

She shook her head, as though she knew, and came nearer.

“You rushed away after the banquet,” she said.

“I was not feeling well,” I said.

That was no lie.

Serenya looked at me a little longer than usual, and then she studied me. “You still don’t look well.”

“I am fine.” I lied.

She didn’t argue.

She smiled yet more.

“I would like to speak to you,” she said.

My chest tightened.

This was it.

This was the time.

“I…I have something to say.”

But Serenya didn’t stop.

“You know something, “ she said. “About the mating. I thought it would be forced. Political. As though I had to do it, and not wanted to do it.”

I was hesitating, and the words I was about to utter got stuck in my throat.

Serenya took another step closer.

“But it does not feel so,” she said.

I gulp, and my hands clenched a little at my sides.

“He’s not what I expected,” she continued. “Draeven… he’s different.”

I sunk in hearing his name.

“I suppose I should not feel anything,” she confessed. “But I do.”

I opened my mouth, I tried again. “Serenya, I—”

“Well, I believe he could be my real mate,” she said.

I froze.

Serenya smiled slightly, almost to herself. “It sounds strange, doesn’t it? After everything, after all the planning and expectations… it feels real.”

My thoughts scattered completely.

“I didn’t think I would come to love him,” she added quietly. “But I do.”

Silence filled the room after that.

I couldn’t breathe properly.

Every word she had just said pressed down on me, making it harder and harder to hold onto what I had come here to do.

I tried again, forcing the words out. “Serenya, there’s something I need to—”

“Maybe this is how it was always meant to be,” she said, her voice softer now. “Maybe this is what fate looks like.”

Fate.

The word felt wrong.

Everything about this felt wrong.

But she believed it.

She believed all of it.

She was happy.

I felt my resolve slipping.

How was I supposed to destroy this?

How was I supposed to take that look off her face and replace it with—

Serenya stopped speaking suddenly.

The silence stretched between us for a moment before she looked directly at me.

Her expression shifted slightly, curiosity replacing the warmth.

“What did you want to say, sister?”