CHAPTER 4
1164 Words
“I
don’t understand the problem of this patient. Why does he turn up every other day at the hospital" Surya irately told his colleague.
"His relative might be interested in you sir, I guess" a bespectacled female intern with an innocent face said whimsically.
“Why don’t you mind your own business?"
"Why are you so annoyed with her?" Vishnu, a dark complexioned, tall and fat guy with a blunt nose who was sitting opposite Surya asked.
"You don't know about these female interns. First they try to get close to you. Then they begin flirting with you. Soon, they claim that they come to the ward only because you are in-charge. Later, they will take your i********: and text you nonsense. When you say something harsh, they take a screenshot and show it to the HOD. Never trust these interns!” Vishnu patiently listened to all of this for a moment and then retorted “What’s this antagonism towards females?”
"I don't know. If someone betrays me, I stop caring forever"
“Snap out of her thoughts Surya. How long will you keep thinking about her and show that anger on your interns?”
“Why are you staring at me? Know how to respect a bloody surgeon, damn it!” Surya admonished his intern, who swiftly stood up and wished Vishnu.
"Okay Man! Cool! I shouldn't raise the topic of any woman with you."
"Let's see the OP then, are you done?" said Surya harshly.
"I will tell you a joke and cool you down" laughed Vishnu. "I have no mood for your stupid jokes" Surya blurted out. Vishnu was disappointed.
"OH joke! Please tell sir" the intern who sat beside him jumped out of excitement.
"Why the hell you are so happy? We are friends and he tells me the joke. If he wants to tell any joke, he has to tell it only to me!"
A patient entered into the room holding his abdomen, “I am passing urine every few hours since night!”
"Then stop drinking too much beer. Can't you hold your urine for a minute? My friend has not yet started his joke" retorted Surya. The patient left to another OP room in resentment.
"Why did you say that? What if he complains to the professor?"
Surya looked flabbergasted for a moment, looked towards the door and grinned wittily, "Nothing will happen! Just tell the joke"
"Yes sir!" chimed in the intern. Surya gave a stern look to his intern which made her go pale in the cheeks.
"Once, a group of doctors went for a bird hunt. The general surgeon aimed at the duck, and brought it down in one shot”
"That’s the mighty general surgeon! Hey stupid face! Clap!" The intern clapped monotonously. She had a dull face, crooked nose, pimpled cheeks and wore thick glasses.
Vishnu continued, "The intern took the rifle and aimed. He shot it once, missed! Shot again, missed again! He shot the bird in the third shot"
Surya laughed sarcastically at the intern, "That's why you have to focus on work, not on the PGs. Nice joke! Continue!"
"Okay!" Vishnu nodded his head idiotically and regained his focus “The intern finally said with suspicion, the bird is too small to be an eagle, too big to be a sparrow. It might be a duck"
"Do you think that's a genuine answer? Somebody might have prompted the answer! That's how these people passed their exams"
"Sir!” protested the intern.
“The radiologist took the rifle, fired a shot and hit the bird. He then turned to his group. Hey I hit a flying animal which is probably a bird – a duck pheasant or quail. It can also be a flying squirrel, and the possibility of a pterodactyl is not yet excluded. Next time I will try with a scoped rifle. I’ll leave the clinical correlation to you guys."
"That's why our professor says never trust a radiologist!"
"The Emergency physician arrived and saw a flying structure. He immediately took an automatic combat shotgun and emptied two magazines. All the doctors took shelter behind him and covered their ears. After the chaos ended, the intern asked what the hell that was."
"What did the Emergency Physician say to that mindless intern?"
"I don't know what the structure is, but I am pretty sure that I shot it." Surya laughed sarcastically bending over his chair. Vishnu started laughing merely to avoid coming off as rude to him.
Surya saw the professor shadow around the corner and stopped laughing. He nudged Vishnu to alert him. An old man with a bald head and stern voice asked “Who was telling a story here instead of examining patients?” The trio stood up in unison. The patient pointed at Vishnu, "Sir, he was telling the joke"
Surya interrupted "Yes sir, he was telling a joke! I pleaded with him not to. But he didn't listen to me". Vishnu looked sternly at Surya. Surya gave him a look that pleaded ‘please handle this’.
The professor scornfully asked "Just tell me who told the joke?" Vishnu confessed with a don't-beat-me look "It was me sir!"
“Meet me after OP”. The professor left.
Surya immediately burst into laughter. Vishnu was furious.
"What did I do Man? You were the one wanted to say the joke and I helped you." Surya turned towards his intern "Why are you pretending to be so innocent? You are responsible for this!"
"Sir! What did I do?" the intern said adjusting her spectacles.
“You shouldn’t have urged him to tell the joke”
A short, fat compounder with a wrinkled face barged inside and told Surya "Sir the OP is very crowded. The patients are very unruly. It’s like as if they are doing Kung-Fu. I can’t handle them"
Vishnu interjected "Oh, everybody is doing Kung Fu”.
“Yeah, I told them sarcastically to do Kung Fu in the air and not on the door"
"Were they as fast as lightning?"
"No! But I was scared that they might break the door"
"I bet it was very frightening" said Surya sarcastically.
"Yes sir! I thought they were going to wreck the door"
The compounder looked at Surya and asked boldly “What happened sir? Did HOD sir Kung Fu ed with Vishnu sir’s head?”
Vishnu contorted his face.
"Yeah exactly! He has gone mad." Surya told tightening an imaginary screw at his temple with his right hand. Everyone chortled with laughter.
"We will see the patients quickly and send them away" Surya assured the compounder.
Later Surya and Vishnu went after the receding professor to exit from the OP. “Sir, I have some information regarding the deaths of the cancer patients a year ago.”
“Stop this nonsense. I heard you were drinking a lot these days and the disciplinary committee is planned against you. Focus on your job. Stop hallucinating things. Meet a psychiatrist for god’s sake.” He chided him and rushed away.
Surya slipped into the opposite emergency ward while Vishnu followed the Professor as an aftermath for his ridiculous joke.
Surya took his chair beside the lonely table amidst all the clattering of the working nurse staff and patients. Slowly he lost in his thoughts slipping back to his memories a year back.
- Writer
