23LanceI am showing Felicia a side of myself I never wanted her to see. As we drive, clambering down the hill, bumping in the seatbeltless seats, I look out of the corner my eye at her. She stares straight ahead and you wouldn’t know she’s scared except for the way her lips tremble, like she’s just seen a ghost. Or a madman hitman, or a psychopath.
I think of our s*x on the hill—s*x! It’s such a damn small word for what we shared. Women have normally been tools for me. Willing tools, make no mistake, but tools all the same. They see me, with my muscles and my killer’s eyes, and they want a piece of me. And I’m more than willing to let them if it means I get a few hours of release. But with Felicia it was much more than that. We weren’t just f*****g. It wasn’t just s*x. Strange, but I feel
