The Hurt

Wake Up Call

“Ready to go, baby girl?” Sean asked, but seemed confused, seeing I was still in my gown.

“They’re keeping me overnight, Sugar,” I gave Sean a disappointed look, “I’m waiting for them to move me to a room.”

Sean’s brow furrowed, “It was just some bleeding, right? Baby boy is fine, why do you gotta stay the night?”

“They just want to be sure I’m getting enough fluids and the bleeding don’t start again,” I gave Sean a tired look. Why was he fighting me on this?

Sean heaved a sigh, “I ain’t staying the night with you, I got work tomorrow.”

“I never asked, or expected, you to stay the night with me.” I folded my arms. I was a bit chilled in the small room in the emergency department.

“I’m leaving for home, you gonna be alright?” he asked, standing up from the chair he had sat in upon entering the room.

I nodded, “We’ll be fine, get some rest, now.”

He kissed the top of my head before putting his hat on to leave, “You too, heal up good.” Sean dropped his hand to my belly, patting it lightly, “Don’t be givin’ your momma any more scares, hear?” I could feel Grayson moving. Was that his way of responding to his father? Sean laughed, taking notice of our son’s movements inside of me.

***

Opening my eyes lazily the next morning, I was almost too comfortable to move. My bladder was saying otherwise, however. “Just give me five more minutes, would you, Gray?” I mumbled to my son, though it seemed more like I was talking to myself. The urgency to use the restroom was not subsiding, causing me to groan before sitting up to get out of bed. The paper pillowcases rustled with my movement. The floor was cold on my feet, even through the socks I was wearing.

Finally, after scuffling over to the conjoined bathroom, I was able to sit down and relieve myself with a sigh. As much as I wanted to go back to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t be able to. What was I going to do with myself while I was here? How long would they make me stay? How was I going to get home? Sean drove us here last night. I didn’t have a vehicle to drive myself home. I sat back down on the bed, checking my phone; it was only 6:47 in the morning, far too early to arrange anything, and too late for Sean to pick me up before work.

A light knocking came from the door in my hospital room before a nurse peered in, “Miss Kay?”

I looked up at my name, “Yes?”

The nurse opened the door, hearing my response, “Good morning, I noticed you were awake, are you hungry? Would you like a little something to eat before breakfast?”

Not that I wanted to admit it, but I was hungry, not having eaten since dinner the night before. “Perhaps a little something, if it isn’t any trouble?”

The nurse smiled at me, “Not at all, I will be back in a moment.”

“Thank you,” I said after her as the door closed. While I waited, I messaged Sean to tell him I was awake.

Morning, beautiful, his reply started, always bringing a smile to my face. I have to stay in town for a few days for work. Won’t be back until Thursday.

I frowned. Thursday? I began my message, not quite knowing what to say in reply. I understood his line of work, but he was high up on the ladder. Surely, after what happened last night, he would be adamant about wanting to stay home one more night to make sure I was okay, right? How am I supposed to get home? You drove me to the hospital last night.

My phone pinged a moment later. The good Lord gave us taxis for a reason.

I scoffed to myself at his message, but chalked up his dismissiveness to being busy with work. I didn’t even entertain a reply to his message, but instead put my phone down to turn on the television in my room. Flipping mindlessly through the channels of local broadcast television, I settled on the local weather, mostly background noise to distract me from my thoughts.

It had worked too well; I hadn’t noticed the nurse until she had put a hand lightly on my forearm. I had dozed off. “Miss Kay?”

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times, “Hm? Oh, yes, I’m sorry.”

“If you need to rest, please do,” she set the plate with a bagel and a fruit cup on my side table with a carton of milk. “The doctor won’t be seeing you until around ten this morning; you have some time to sleep if you need to. Get it in while you can before your little boy is born,” she smiled at me.

I gave a weak smile back to her, “Right. Thank you.”

***

After a thorough examination from the doctor who was on staff that morning, I was finally cleared to go home just after lunchtime. I was sitting on a bench outside the hospital entrance, waiting for my cab. The breeze was chilly, and I hadn’t brought any sweatshirt or over-shirt the night before. I was a little annoyed with Sean after our brief conversation that morning, but I didn’t seem to have the energy to do anything more than stew about it. I just wanted to go home at this point.

I looked up, and the beat-up van pulled up in front of me, the cab. The brakes squeaked as it came to a stop, and the engine rattled as it sat at an idle. “Miss Kay?” The driver asked, and the electric window was slow to roll down before he asked my name.

“Yes, that’s me,” I nodded, standing up carefully before I reached to open the door of the van.

“Where to, ma’am?” He asked me, glancing in the rearview mirror to meet my eyes.

I blinked, quiet for a moment. “Home, I—I guess,” I said, my voice small. He had input my address into his GPS before pulling away from the curb. The man was polite enough, trying his darnedest to make small talk with me, but I was too lost inside my own head to be fully present in the conversation.

Dropping me off at home, I stood in the driveway for a moment, just staring towards the front door. I seemed to be rooted in place, but trudged forward; the only motivation to go into my own house was my desire to sit on my comfortable couch. Turning my key in the lock, my door creaked open. The house was quiet as I stood in the doorway for an unnecessary amount of time before I finally closed the door behind me. I sighed, took my shoes off, and set my purse down on the counter before I put the kettle on for some peppermint tea.

I decided to start some laundry while I waited for the water to boil, taking the clothes I was wearing off to wash, as I had worn them the day before, and then home from the hospital. Catching a glimpse of myself in the floor-length mirror, I took a closer look at myself. I didn’t care to see what my body looked like, but forced myself to take a good look at myself. The dimples of cellulite on my thighs made me frown; the stretch marks on my stomach made me sick as I ran my fingers over them. I grimaced. I didn’t want to look like this; I felt like a disgusting creature from The Black Lagoon. I knew my body would change with the development of the child growing inside of me, but maybe I wasn’t ready to see myself like this?

I was pulled from my lamenting by the sound of my phone ringing. I cleared my throat before answering, “Hello?”

“You coming in, Miss Kay?” It was Claire.

“Well, good morning to you too,” I held the phone between my cheek and shoulder so I could dress and continue with the laundry.

“It’s 1:30, ma’am,” Claire corrected.

“Well, whatever it is, no, I ain’t coming in. Thought I already told Lori I wasn’t gonna be in today.

“Oh, no, you did. But Bonnie is wondering where you are.”

“The DM? Christ, I just got out of the hospital an hour ago, I ain’t coming in.”

“And that’s what I told her. Now she’s spouting nonsense about finding a new manager since you can’t show up for work.”

I scoffed, “They realize tryin to demote me or fire me goes against the ADA, right? They can’t discriminate against me just because I’m having pregnancy-related health problems.”

“I know it, but you know how Princess Bonnibelle likes all her ducks in a row.”

“A dictatorship of ducks, more like,” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll come in just long enough to come right back home after she yells at me up one side and down the other.” I gave in.

“Alright,” Claire sighed, “sad that it’s come to this these days. They can’t just let you rest.”

“I’ll see y’all soon, hold the fort down,” I said, stopping with my task of laundry.

“Can do, drive safe, ma’am.”

I let out a groan after the line disconnected. Why couldn’t the district just leave me be? I have a good team, Claire knows how to run things, and she encourages me to stay home after watching me hardly take a day off in the five-plus years she’s been my assistant.