One Mistake: The Start of a Journey

Eddie

Chapter Three

    I head upstairs to my room. Other than renovations needed to keep up with the ever changing times, my room hadn't change. It's as if I had died and they kept my room like it was as a memorial. Thankfully they placed covering over everything. That makes cleaning so much easier. 

    I get to work with the task at hand, clearing all these coverings off my long forgotten belongings. I was so lost in my work that I never heard Eddie come in. So when he placed his hand on my shoulder, I screamed. "Sorry Tori, I didn't mean to scare you." "You didn't scare me. Startled me, yes. Scare me, no. Is there something I can help you with Eddie? I was just about to jump in the shower." "Actually I was coming to see if I could help you, but it looks as if you've already finished removing everything." "Yeah. I figured its better to get the dust filled coverings removed then shower." Eddie just stood there looking at me, as if he was thinking of me in the shower. "Is there anything else? I'm really tired and would like to go to sleep soon." "Oh sorry. Nope that's all. I guess I should go downstairs and see if my food is ready anyways." "Ok talk to you soon."

    With that, he left me to my own thoughts. I grab my PJs and toiletry bag and head to the bathroom. This is the only area in my room that had been touched in years. As plumbing became a popular thing, my parents installed it in here, most likely in the hope that I would return someday. Little did any of us realize that it would be now and under these circumstances. However, I can't complain about the outcome of the renovations.

    I get in the shower, still wondering about what Eddie was truly thinking before he left. These thoughts of his thoughts sent my mind wondering. For the longest time, I have been able to control my feelings of lust and love. But over the last several months, that control has been slipping. I knew that Eddie felt the same way even though he never said a word about it. It was his actions that told me. The problem was me. Somehow I was always able to keep level headed about our feelings and never put off any signs that I felt the same. But I knew it wouldn't last forever. 

    The connection, the pull, the electricity I felt every time I was near him was palpable. I could see the recognition of the effects in him as well. I always wanted him near me. Just like now, while in the shower. I wanted him here. I wanted his hands caressing my body while his soft lips were on mine. I wanted him touching me in places that I have never been touched before by another person. I might have been born during a time of exploration and discovery, but that didn't mean that I was unvirtuous. Regardless of my past carelessness, there was one thing that I kept pure. My wholesomeness. And now after all these years, I didn't want to anymore. I wanted to be with Eddie more than I've ever wanted to be with someone before. Is this the true love I've always heard and read of? Who really knows? But I do know, that I want to find out. 

    I get out of the shower still thinking about Eddie. I dress hurriedly. Then just as I'm about to get in bed, there was a light knock at the door. "Come in." " You know normal people ask who's there first." "Yeah well I'm not normal." "Neither am I." He looked so good. You could tell that he just finished showering as well. His shirt clung to the dampness on his skin, accentuating the muscles underneath. There was a long silence as we both stared over each other. The more I looked over his magnificent body, the more my body tingled. "Well I just wanted to come by and say that I hope you sleep well," he finally said. As he turned to leave, I just couldn't help myself anymore. "Eddie..." I trailed off. "Yes Tori?" " Don't go." A puzzle look come over his face.  

    "What do you mean Don't go?" " I mean, that I want you to stay, in here, with me, in my bed." " Tori, do you honestly think that's a good idea?" No I don't think that's a good idea. I honestly didn't even want to be having this conversation. I couldn't believe that I actually asked him to stay with me in the first place. I all knew was that I wanted him near. I wanted him next to me. I wanted to feel his warmth against my skin. "Do you want my honest answer?" "Yes I want your honest answer." " Then no, I don't think this is a good idea." "But then why..." " Please let me finish. I don't think this is a good idea. But dammit Eddie, how much longer can we deny that we have feelings for each other. Feelings that I have been denying to you and to myself that I can not longer stop." "Vittoria, I'm not going to deny the fact that I have feelings for you. But I also know how much your purity means to you. And I'm scared of what will happen if I do stay." " Eddie, I'm not asking you to have s*x with me. I'm asking you to stay. I'm asking for us to stop ignoring this. Is that something you can do?"

    After what seemed like an eternity he finally answered. "Yes, that is something I can do?" He climbed into my bed with me, being cautious to stay on his side. I didn't want that. I wanted him right next to me. So I slid closer to him. "Tori, I'm not sure..." " Will you just stop." "But..." I didn't even give him a chance to finish. I let go of all inhibitions and kissed him. At first, he just sat there, not moving. Then slowly, he relaxed and started to kiss me back. It was exactly what I though it would be. His lips were soft, but hungry. The electricity was unimaginable. As I let a small moan escape my lips, his tongue found mine. I could feel the passion intensify, and knew that I needed to stop this before it went any further, but I didn't really want to. He slowly started to make his way down my neck. Kissing and nibbling his way to my collar bone. I was breathless. He made his way back up and found my lips again, letting out a low growl as he did so. 

    I could tell that this was just as intense for him as it was for me. He kiss was hard and wanting. Just as mine was. But I knew that I couldn't go any further. Not yet. I needed time. We needed time. So to not hurt his feelings, I placed my hands on his chest and gently pushed away. Both of us breathlessly just stared into each others eyes. We both realized at that moment, that we had to stop. Neither of us truly ready to take it any further. Even though Eddie was more experienced than me, he knew that this was the one thing I kept sacred to me. I could see it in his eyes, that he was willing to wait for however long it took for me to be completely ready. And that's when I knew that I truly did love him. But was this the time to actually say the words.

    "Eddie?" "Hmmm." "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." "Don't be sorry Tori. There is absolutely no reason for you to apologize." "But I promised you that nothing would happen." "And nothing did. Yes we kissed. Passionately. And it was amazing..." "Yeah but..." "But nothing Tori. Now try to get some sleep." With that, I laid my head on his chest and start to drift off to sleep. 

    Before I was fully asleep, I swore that I heard him whisper "I love you." I wanted to ask but couldn't bring myself to do so. What if I didn't hear him say it? What if the serious lack of sleep that I have gotten in the last two days was finally playing tricks on me? What if my subconscious wanted to hear him say it so that I could tell him that I loved him too? And I didn't just want to ask him out right because if he didn't say it then we, well I, would be totally embarrassed. I push the thought out of my mind and allow myself to relax wrapped in his arms.