What I was once?

Prologue

First person point of view:

It was a sunny day when my friends asked me to go out with them. Akala ko we are going to resort ganoon, pero lunch daw eh. Because of boredom I agreed. And then now I regret my decision. Hindi naman s'ya totally na desisyon ko. Syempre they are my friend, pinilit nila ako kahit ayaw ko. Lagi naman silang ganyan eh. Pag ayaw mo pipilitin ka. Pero love ko pa rin sila kahit ganyan. Dapat hindi na lamang ako pumayag at humiga na lamang sa higaan at mag-antay ng grasya na paparating pero kahit na, pipilitin pa rin ako. Kaya para hindi tumagal ang usap pumayag kaagad ako. Oh, just kidding so anyway sana maging exciting 'tong gagawin namin kung meron man ng akin mga friends! Magsusuot na lang ako ng dress. Since mainit pag nag pants ako baka mairita ang balat ko.

Napagdesisyonan namin na magkita ng lunch para sabay kaming mag la-lunch, siguro around 12 pm.

"Hey are you okay?" Tanong ni Catherine habang kami'y naglalakad.

"Y-yea, Of course" sagot ko. No, I'm not okay. Honestly, i feel something wrong.

At nagpatuloy na kami sa paglalakad. Hindi ko alam kung bakit gan'to yung nararamdaman ko, dahil ba nakita ko ulit s'ya? Or dahil may kasama na s'yang iba?

Yes I saw him with someone. It's been 5 years when we last saw each other, When I felt the pain, and It's been 5 years when we ended our story. And maybe i still don't know the reason why the things between us ended like a bubble.

"Oy! Narito na tayo, take a sit girls" Stacy said.

After a couple of minutes na paglalakad namin nakarating na kami sa aming destinasyon . Stacy ordered a lot of foods. It's a good restaurant, where you'll see the outside, but the outside can't see you. The wall looks like a mirror outside. The ambience is so good, and also it's not that cold. Perfect restaurant for couple. Also, I'm kinda curious kung bakit magkakatabi kami sa upuan, at may kaharap na dalawang upuan din. Are we expecting someone?

"Hey, Bakit ang dami nung foods? At bakit may dalawa rin na upuan sa harap natin? Tatlo lang naman tayo ah? Are we expecting someone ba?" I asked because of curiosity. I'm damn curious.

"Cath, didn't you tell her?" Stacy said. What?

"Ahmm, I forgot eh. Sorry, pati alam kong hindi sya sasama kung sinabi ko." Catherine answered.

"Tell me what, Cath? Stacy?" Ha? May something ba na hindi ko nalalaman?

"I have a meeting with my client" Stacy answered.

"So? Why did you bring us? Can't you go meet the client of yours alone?by the way, may i know your client's name?" I said. May meeting pala s'ya, bakit sinama pa kami? If this is about work dapat s'ya na lang mag-isa or dapat kasama ang secretary n'ya.

"My client is Nathan" She said without any hesitation. Okay, Nathan is the client, but who cares?

"Ah your cli-- WAIT! WHAT?WHO?" I got shocked, maybe I heard her wrong. She didn't even answer my other question. Calm down, there's so many Nathan in this world.

"Nathan? What's wrong? I thought naka moved on ka na?" Catherine said while laughing. Is she suspecting me na hindi pa nakakamoved on? Hindi pa naman sure kung sinong Nathan eh.

"Naka m-move on na nga a-ako." I said. Bakit ako nauutal?

"Bakit ka na-uutal? Don't tell me---" Pinutol ko ang dapat sasabihin ni Stacy.

"I already moved on. That's it" i said. Sinubukan kong hindi mautal dahil alam ko na hindi nila ako titigilan. But why do my heart beating so fast? Okay, inhale, exhale.

*Beep beep*

I checked my phone and someone texted me. Yes! Saviour. I opened the message.

From: Jairus

Hey beautiful! Don't forget our dinner date! Lovelots

To: Jairus

Okay, See you later! Stay safe.

Okay, Should I just go? Just lie? Maybe I'm not really that ready to face him. Maybe I'll use the text of Jairus para i let go nila ako? Or am I too fast to go? I don't really want to go see him. Aaaa hope they'll believe me. Bahala na nga. Basta I want to get out of here na, maybe they can handle their self.

"Hey girls, i got message from my parents. Something came up and uh i need to go" I lied. Obviously nabasa nyo na naman 'yung message. Tatayo na sana ako, pero as a result pinigilan nila ako which i already expected.

"I know you're lying. You can't go pa. Malapit na daw siya" Stacy. See? Best friends ko nga pala sila, they already knew me. They are my other half.

"But something really came up and my family needs me." Another lie.

Kailangan kong panindigan 'tong lie na 'to.

"Let me see the message first. Then if I saw it na, na your family is kailangan ka na, then you'll go na." Cath said. And because kasinungalingan ang aking sinabi kanina wala na kong magawa.

"See? You're just lying. Maybe that text is from someone" Stacy.

I don't have any reason na para umalis so i just stay. Hindi na rin ako nagsalita about sa topic na 'yon at baka kung ano pa ang sabihin nila which I can't handle. And isa pa before I forgot to mention, Stacy is a lawyer so you know na, wala akong lampas.

"Hey B-bakit ang tagal niya?"

I asked. Because We've been waiting here for about 5 minutes or more? Don't know. But it's already 12:30 pm. 30 more minutes and it'll be 1pm. And yes, nauutal na naman ako? Hindi naman ako excited na makita s'ya, kinakabahan ako to be exact.

Ano ba ang oras ng meet up nila? If 12:30 late naman sila, or mas'yado lamang kaming napaaga?

"Calm down malapit na daw siya, baka maya maya nandyan na yun just wait another minutes, okay?" Stacy said. So, mag isa la'ng pala s'ya? Kung s'ya nga 'yun. Eh, sino 'yung kanina? Maybe I'll know it later. Damn, I can't wait. Naghahalo ang kaba at excitement dahil sa tagal na hindi ko s'ya nasisilayan.

"Okay" I replied. Ano pa bang sasabihin ko?

"Kain muna tayo, so pagkadating niya----"

Someone cut Stacy's words na nakaagaw ng atensyon namin. Oo, naagaw ang atensyon namin. Uulitin ko pa ba? HAHAHAHAHHA

"We will eat together" Nathan said. Why? Can't we just eat separately. Oh, just kidding I'm being bitter again. Hope, I'll not say something out of moon. And something nonsense.

Lahat kami nagulat, not because we're not expecting him, But because we're not expecting him with someone. Well I saw them together na naman kanina, pero iba pa rin pag harap harapan na . As he looked at my eyes, I saw his coldness. I must act normal even though I can still feel the pain.

I must act normal, even though I'm kinda excited to see him again.

"Good afternoon Mr. Reverso , please take a sit" si Stacy ang unang nakabawi. Mr. Reverso, huh? It's such a traumatizing surname. Parang nawala s'ya na parang bula, and now he contacted my friend? Wow, just wow.

"And also you miss...?" Oh, what's the name of this beautiful lady?

" Flaire Denise Forbes, you can call her Flaire. And uhmm she's my g-girlfriend." Nathan replied. Why nautal? Is he hiding something, hmmmm i think i should ask him later if why did he ended up things between us. If we have a chance to talk, and kakayanin ko syempre. Kaya ko, kasi ako to. HAHAHAHAH. Pinalalakas ko lamang ang loob ko. But I don't know if we'll talk later. Maybe not. But I have chance naman 'di ba? I'm still thinking if I hanve chance pa, hindi ko na kasi s'ya nakausap after n'yang sabihin na wala na kami. Bigla s'yang naglaho na parang bula.

Cath and Stacy looked at me with their eyes full of awkwardness. Akala ko ako lang yung nakakaramdam ng awkward sila din pala tsk. Ako lang ba? Or sila din? But I noticed that nautal sya while saying the word "girlfriend". Baka affected pa rin s'ya sa'kin kaya nautal s'ya pagkasabi ng "girlfriend". Or baka nasilaw s'ya sa ganda ko? Oh, I'm being assuming naman this time. I was just kidding.

"Yes that's my name, And by the way I'm your client" Sagot naman ng "girlfriend" n'ya. Don't pansin pansin the word "girlfriend" i just want to emphasize it.

"I thought Mr. Reverso is my client, Because he's the one who ask for my help. Am i right?" Professional na sabi ni Stacy sabay taas ng kilay.

That's it, Stacy looks like she can kill the way she speaks while raising her eyebrow. That's my friend! Go atty.!

"Ah, Hindi ko agad nasabi sa'yo that she needs your help and let's discuss later kung anong tulong ang kailangan n'ya, for now let's just eat. Baka kanina pa kayo rito eh." Nathan said. Oh, kailangan ng abogado or something? baka may namurder? i was just kidding, maybe someone did something wrong to her girlfriend? And kailangan ng atty. ng girlfriend n'ya, from now on let's look at the other side haaa.

"Okay, please take a sit" Stacy said after few seconds.

Inalalayan ni Nathan si Flaire para makaupo ng maayos. Gan'yan din s'ya sa akin dati. Oo, dati la'ng. At ng makaupo na nang maayos they smiled at each other 'yung smile na parang nang iinggit. Gano'n yung dating nung smile sa akin. Hindi ko lang alam sa kanila. Siguro ang saya nila sa relasyon nila yung tipong walang makakahadlang o tipong hindi na nila tatapusin. Masyado ba akong bitter? Nakatitig lang ako sa kaniya habang nag titingin sila ng mga pagkaing inorder namin hindi ko alam kung ganaano na katagal yung pagtitig ko, hanggang sa naramdaman ko na sinisiko na ko ng bahagya ni Stacy, dahil sa pagtitig ko hindi ko napansin na nakatitig na rin pala siya sakin. Kung hindi lang ako siniko ni Stacy which is nasa gitna namin ni Cath ay hindi ko pa malalaman na nakatitig na sya pabalik of course with his eyes full of coldness. Whyyy did I stared at him?

"Uh, I'm s-sorry." I said sabay yuko. Omg, so nakakahiya. Why the hell did I do such things. Nakahihiya ka! Wtf? My brain said. Huhuhuhu. Help me. Kainin na sana ako ng lupa. Wala na ata akong mukha na maihaharap sa kanya!

Hindi ko na ata kayang humarap sa kanya, nakakahiya! Pero bakit parang mas lalo syang gwumapo, his perfect nose, his cold eyes, his messy hair, and his pinkish lips na bumagay sa perpektong hubog ng muka nya. Glow up? Hope all. Sabi nga nila pag nasasaktan mas lalong gumaganda o gumagwapo. Pero nasaktan ba s'ya no'ng sa'min? Or may naging iba pa s'ya bago si Flaire? Ahh, I'm damn curious right now.

"Hmm" sabi nya. "Hmm" lang?? Oh no, I'm not expecting something ha.

Pero bakit hmm lang? Hindi n'ya ba ako tatanungin kung bakit ako nakatitig sa kan'ya? Ah, no no self why ka gan'yan mag isip? Syempre may "girlfriend" na 'yan kaya gan'yan lang ang sinabi.

"So Ms. Forbes, I am Stacy Co, Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too" Cute voice. Formal.

"And I am Catherine Villate a friend of Stacy Co, Nice to meet you." Bakit pati si Cath nagpakilala?

"Pleasure to meet you."

Makaraan ang ilang segundo na binalot kami ng katahimikan, nakaramdam ako ng ilang. Pa'no naman na hindi ako maiilang eh, ramdam ko yung titig ni Flaire sakin at ni Nathan habang Yung mga kaibigan ko ay patuloy na kumakain.

At sa wakas ay may bumasag na sa katahimikan.

"And you are?" Sabi ni Flaire.

Bahagya kong inangat ang aking mukha para makita sya. Maganda naman and mukhang mabait, So I give her my sweetest smile. Sasabihin ko ba na ex ako ng "boyfriend" n'ya? Okay la'ng naman 'di ba kung mag paka bitter ako? Joke lang. Dapat mabait tayo, para sa trabaho ni Stacy. May konsensya rin naman ako. Pero gusto ko talaga sabihin. Sige bahala na, nag aantay s'ya ng sagot mo self!

"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, Hi! I am Leah Angela Quizana a friend of Stacy Nicole Co and Catherine Keisha Villate, Nice to meet you."

So yeah! I'm Leah Angela Quizana, currently moving on, after 5 years of break up. And yes, I'm not totally over him. Kaya nga siguro napaka over thinker ko? Kasi hindi pa naman talaga ako nakaka move on. And I think I can't, hindi ako makaka move on siguro hangga't hindi ko nalalaman kung bakit kami nag break. Nagsawa ata s'ya sakin? Pero bakit naman? Tinulungan ko s'ya sa lahat. And maybe giving yourself too much, and maybe pag masyado kang na attached sa kanya, the more mas masakit pag naghiwalay kayo. And that's exactly kung ano ang nangyari sa akin sa nagdaang mga buwan at taon. And here is our story, which you can feel the pain, the love, and the happiness. Na makapaglilito sa'yo kung pinaglalaruan ka ba talaga n'ya or pinagtagpo talaga kayo. Makagtatanong ka rin sa sarili mo kung ano nga ba ang tunay na naging halaga mo sa kanya. What I was once?