Ghetto Love Bird

Summer Camp

“Leave your legs up, like this,” Axe presses down on my leg while in missionary, and although I had zoned out, I grabbed my inner thighs and pulled them as low as I could to my chest.

It just wasn’t the same.

I haven’t seen Roman in a minute, and I understood why. Things were hectic on his side. But it didn’t take away from the fact that I missed him. From the time he left, I probably had over 6 d**k appointments. Just running up the money I guess.

There was this resistance that I felt, it wasn’t there before. Resistance to share my body, to . . . share such an intimate part of me with someone else. And although I’d done it countless times before, the guilt I felt in the very beginning started to return.

I knew it was because of Roman.

“Yo, honey, it’s best you call me back when you’re actually in the mood for sum,” Axe climbs off of me, and embarrassingly, I cover-up.

I don’t say anything as he leaves the hotel room, I just lay my head back frustratingly on the bed. Lying there naked, I felt disgusted with myself. I could feel Axe’s hand all over me, and it made my skin . . . crawl.

Tears brim my eyes, and I silently wondered what the f**k was going on with me? I would detach myself from morals, from everything that said s*x work wasn’t – wasn’t empowering. That it determined your self-worth, and that it was disgusting, and that I should be ashamed. I detached myself from every stigma. So why is it that I feel so . . . revolted.

I decided to lay in the hotel room for a moment, just to catch a moment to myself. I sobbed into the white pillowcases ruining them with my makeup. But it’s been a while since I’ve had time to feel anything real . . . it’s been a while since I’ve felt like I wasn’t on auto-pilot. Roman often made me forget, and now that he wasn’t around, I needed – f**k, I don’t know.     

My phone rang, and I quickly wipe my tears.

“Tera?”

“Hey, sis – why do you sound that way?”

“I just woke up,” I lie, “I fell asleep in the hotel with the A/C on blast, you know how that goes.”

“s**t,” she chuckles, “don’t head into hot water immediately after.”

“I won’t,” I throw my legs over the bed to get dressed, “what’s up?”

“Well, summer camp’s coming up for the kids, I know we’ve got to grab a few things.”

“I’m on my way.”

#

“Girl I am not excited to be alone with my mother,” I deadpan, swiping through the kid's section, “I don’t know what the hell imma’ do with all this free time.”

“What do you mean, Honey,” Tera raises an eyebrow, “you’re gonna be a grown-ass woman, having fun in the summertime.”

I huff, grabbing some socks, and leggings from the racks.

“Plus, summer’s the time for BBQs, pool bashes, concerts – it’s gonna be lit, and you’re gonna be booked.”

“Well, there’s that,” I nod.

I was known by so many people for my cooking, I knew I would be their first call when it came to catering. I was always booked during those seasons.

“And then,” she drawls, and I already knew where she was headed.

“There’s your fine ass man, Roman –“

“b***h, don’t start.”

“Don’t start what?” She places a hand on her, “you’re still putting this off, why?”

“Maybe because I haven’t seen that nigga in over two weeks?”

“But he calls you almost every night.”

“Do you ladies need some help?”

A young saleswoman approaches us, a small smile on her face.

“No, baby,” Tera smiles back, “but you’re doing great!”

She blows out a breath, her smile broadening. She nods and then leaves.

“Even if he calls me, Tera,” I sigh, looking at some boots for Sorayah, “it’s not the same. I- we haven’t had the discussion yet, so I still don’t know where we stand.”

“All I know is, that nigga likes you for sure, he’s applying pressure b. Just – don’t – don’t knock it before you even try it.”

“Alright, T, I hear you.”

She seems content enough with my answer, descending into silence.

“I know your horny ass is probably excited about the alone time with Western.”

“Can you tell,” she furrows her eyebrows longingly, “we’ve got to do a quick stop at lacy Macy before we leave.”

“Damn,” I giggle, “the full package huh?”

“It’s been so long since I’ve done anything spontaneous for him,” she sighs as we head over to the cashiers, “I mean we have s*x as much as we can, which isn’t much cause when we’re not working, we’re with Eastern.”

“Right,” I nod.

“I wanna make sure that we can maintain our s*x life, you know? He deserves it, I deserve it.”

“Of course,” I smile soundly at her. If I hadn’t said it enough, I admired Tera. I admired everything she’s accomplished, and I admired how she sustained it.

“You’ll get it, b,” she rubs my shoulder noticing my silence, and I blow out a breath.

“I’m fine, Tera. Don’t worry about your girl.”

We pay for our stuff and decide that we should probably grab something to eat in the meantime. Finger Tings was the closest fast-food restaurant, so we settled in, and ordered chicken, fries, and soda.

“I didn’t tell you this but on the way home with Roman, I bumped into Rico.”

“Rico,” Tera pauses, “how did you just bump into him?”

“Well, scratch that, it’s almost as if that nigga was stalking me, T. He just stood at the side of the building –“

“What building?”

“We stopped at the pharmacy . . . to -uh – buy a plan b.”

Tera’s eyes widen, and I shyly cover my face with one hand.

“Uh – you skipped that part though –“ We both busted out laughing, and I groan.

“Not a proud moment, but that’s over with. So let’s get back to Rico.”

“Right.”

“He’s basically going on about how I need to stop f*****g Roman.”

“Or else what?” Tera tilts her head and I shake mine.

“Girl . . . I don’t even know. But he was saying that I’m the one who has Roman on his side of the hood – and that I need to keep him away before sum happens.”

“s**t,” Tera rubs her forehead.

“Roman came out right after, and they had a little spit-spat before I – well I slapped Rico, and I left.”

“Girl . . .” she takes a sip from her drink while blowing out a breath, “we need to get out of this place . . . I’m not even kidding.”

“I know, sis. I – maybe we need to start taking it a lot more seriously,” Tera nods.

“I’ve been talking to Western about it, and he’s a bit hesitant about leaving his childhood home but – I don't want Eastern to continue growing up here Honey.”

“He’s a boy . . . and as much as I’d like to shelter him all his life, I know that’s not possible. I -I refuse to let him be influenced by the men that are here. At least out there, he’d have a chance.”

I run my hand across the table, and she takes it.

“Then that’s what we’re gonna do, T,” I tell her earnestly, “from this day on, we’re gonna start putting everything in order.”

She nods, turning her head so she could wipe her single tear.

“It’s getting real rough out there, honey . . . we don’t have a choice.”