DEAR KIM

CHAPTER ONE | DEAR KIM

"Staring at that dancer again, aren't you?" Jesse Parker, my roommate and best friend, asked on a perfect Friday sanctified by bright blue skies and the flower-filled scent of spring.

It was a year ago.

The icy whites of winter had begun to fade away by the gold glistening of spring's sun. Birds made fashionable by beautiful feathers chirped loudly as they danced from branch to branch.

Animals once hibernated, crawled between grasses drenched in a healthy shade of green. The wind sent cool over my skin as it made its way through parted pink curtains in my dorm. I took in a deep breath and smiled at Jesse with joy in my heart. It was a beautiful day.

"Yeah I am. Is that a problem?" I asked Jess.

"No. It's not but you and I both know that stalking becomes obsession when you give all your energy and time to a person. Especially a celeb figure like your crush. And on a Friday? Come on it's fun day. You can drool over him some other time." She said.

Pretty Jess, always such a diva. She believed life was too short to exclude fun and her definition of fun was parties, amusement parks and large slices of pizza on a Sunday morning. The sparkle in her eyes was never dulled and I loved that about her.

Dressed in a blue jumpsuit and yellow heels, she folded her arms and pouted. Her green eyes fixated on my right hand. Her blonde pixie cut interrupted by streaks of red and blue.

"Is that eggnog?" She asked, eyeing the cup of creamy liquid in my hand.

"Yup!"

"Adult eggnog or kid eggnog?"

"Kid eggnog. It's morning Jess."

"No! It's three hours past noon Pree and a little addition of vodka to eggnog isn't wrong. It's the perfect comfort remedy for adults."

"Yeah right, an alcoholic beverage in the morning just before class, is remedy to a student's soul. You'd make a great guidance counsellor."

"I already told you Pree. It's three o'clock in the afternoon! Seriously you're obsessed with that Tea guy."

Pree. That was what she loved to call me. She said she liked it better than Priya Kapoor, my actual name. Well, after two years of sharing a room and the perks of medical school, I grew to love the name too.

"He's not 'that tea guy'. It's Kim Tae Min. Say it with me." I said slowly, trying my best to annoy Jess.

"You're crazy." She said.

"Guilty as charged my love." I replied.

I smiled. We both laughed.

"Move over, I've got to see what you're so focused on." Jess ordered.

I placed the cup of eggnog in my hands on a nightstand and rolled over to the right side of my bed, while my best friend curled up next to me on the left.

"Wait a minute, what's this? Dear Kim? You're pen pals with the guy now? I thought he was some hot shot. How did you...when did you...what did you..."

"Relax Jess, it's just a fundraiser hosted by Kim's agency. They put up some kind of contest for fans. All you've got to do is send a beautiful message to Kim. An email address has been placed on all social media platforms." I explained.

"So you just write a message to him and send it to the email address?"

"Pretty much but you've got to buy one of the customized products on sale first. When you buy the product you'll be given a code, which you'll also send as part of the message. It's a charity event for a children's hospital in Seoul. The products are quite expensive but with fan girls being fan girls, they'll get more than enough cash for the kids. It's all about the fans' love for good merch. Everything would be sold out in no time." I smiled from ear to ear.

"Yeah. You being number one to buy them." Jess said observing the posters, mugs and T-shirts in our room, which had Kim's face, printed on them in bold lines and bright colours.

She was right. I was completely and utterly obsessed with Kim Tae Min.

I had been a fan of his flexibility and pretty face since the first time I saw him on an ** video, back in high school.

"I am his number one fan. That's why I've got to write the perfect letter. I've been on the words 'Dear Kim' for two freaking hours!" I pulled the ends of my coal black hair.

"Take it easy. You'll be fine. Just tell me the prize is worth it."

"It's an all-expense paid, three month trip to South Korea."

"Say what?" Jess's eyes shone brighter.

"Yup! And not just that, the winner gets to explore awesome tourist attractions in South Korea and have a date with Kim Tae Min!"

There was silence for a second and like teenage girls we screamed.

"Oh my...That's so cool!"

"I know!" I hugged a pillow.

"Is there a deadline?"

"It ends in an hour."

"What?!"

Jess stood up and stared at me like a good student would at the sight of a grade 'C'.

"You haven't written a thing yet! How do you expect to win this? Seriously Pree!"

"I wrote something already but I'm not sure I'll win with it. So I decided to write something else. I mean the letters get posted on the website too! Look at these." I pointed to the feed contents on the screen, while Jess read the messages written by other fans.

"Wow! They sound like they're in love. There's no way the agency would skip these. Where's yours then?"

A Microsoft Word window popped up after a click and Jess began to read mine as loudly as she could while I placed my hands over my eyes in embarrassment.

"Dear Kim,

Hi. I'm a fan like the millions of others in the world who cherish you. And I do cherish you.

I appreciate the person you were when I first knew you three years ago and I appreciate the person you've grown to be.

I appreciate your talent and dedication with every move you make and every step you take. They're quite unforgettable. You always leave a print in my heart after every performance. I appreciate that.

I must be honest with you though and I hope your agency finds this.

I've seen sadness in your eyes, one I can't explain and know nothing of. I'm just a fan so I can't say I love you enough to tell you this but I care enough, so I will.

You've worn a mask for your fans for years. Always smiling so perfectly each time you perform or make a speech.

You can let go now.

It's okay to say you're not okay. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to say no to the pressure from your agency. It's okay to have time for you and you alone.

Other fans might have wished you good health, long life, more success and some might have wished to see you physically. I do have those wishes too, but here's the one that sings loudly in my heart.

I wish to see you smile without your mask on.

It will pass. They always do. You'll be fine. I promise.

And hopefully, I'll get to see that smile without a mask.

-Priya Kapoor, a fan.

After Jess read the letter, she stared at me with a huge smile on her face. Her cheeks were red on both sides. She blushed.

"Oh my gosh Pree. It's long and different but beautiful. It's so personal. What makes you so sure he's sad though?" She asked.

"I guess I'm obsessed." I answered.

"It's perfect then."

"Yeah it's great but I'm sure he won't see it, especially if the messages are going to be read by his agency. I mean I wrote about him wearing a fake smile for crying out loud! They'll want something that'll please both Kim and the agency. So yeah, bye-bye ticket to South Korea!" I screamed into my pillow.

"Isn't it weird that you call 'Kim' though? It's like calling him by his last name. It has an awkward feel to it. " Jesse said.

"His stage name is 'K1M'. So instead of actually spelling out K-1-M, fans got a bit creative and started calling him 'Kim'. Which happens to be his last name. Besides, he's never complained about it. " I said as a proud representative of Kim's fans.

"It just feels weird... "

"Now you're a K-pop expert? " I asked. Jess laughed.

"Okay, jokes aside. What do you think about the letter Jess? "

"I think you should send it."

"I'm sorry what?"

"I'm serious Pree. You said it'll be over in an hour and we've got a test in thirty minutes. I don't think you'll have the time to come up with a new letter and get ready for class in less than thirty minutes. So yes, I think you should send it. It's better than nothing and I really like it. What have you got to lose?"

"Fine. Do you want to send it together?" I asked.

"It'll be my pleasure."

Jess and I tapped the touchpad on my laptop. We laughed like kids do.

I did not tell Kim what he wanted to hear. I told him what he needed to hear and for that I was satisfied.

I was about to get ready for class when I saw Jess changing. She took off her jumpsuit and got into a black dress so short, her smooth thighs shone in the sunlight. Then she wore a trench coat over the pretty dress, applied some makeup and fixed her hair a bit.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Oh, we're going to a party tonight."

"Jess?"

"Don't Jess me. You just sent a freaking cringe-worthy letter to a guy you've never met and anytime a dude asks you out you turn into a praying mantis and just stare! You're so coming to the party with me. No objections." Fun loving Jess had spoken and as always, I complied.

I wore a knee-long dress, red as blood and black heels. I threw a trench coat over my attire as well, then glazed my lips in red, darkened my eyelashes with mascara and after the heat from a hair straightner, Jess and I left our dorm for a class and a party afterwards.



The night had fallen into place with beautiful diamonds clustered on its dark blanket when Jess and I got back to the dorm. Jess drank a lot.

I got drunk Jess on her bed, took off her shoes and tucked her in like a mother would. In a few minutes she passed out.

I tip-toed to my bed and stared at my reflection on a mirror nailed to one of my wardrobes.

My hair remained perfect unlike Jess's. The caramel of my skin went well with the lipstick I wore and the red dress was the best description of pretty. I wondered why I was single. Maybe Jess was right. Maybe I was too obsessed with Kim.

I sighed loudly, and pushed down the power button on my laptop. For the sake of more classes and seminars, I decided to check my email, when I saw something that turned me into a human alarm.

"Oh my God!" I screamed.

"What? What happened?" Fatigued Jess struggled with bed covers.

"I can't believe this...This isn't happening..."

I screamed some more like someone who won a lottery and jumped like a toddler while a pleasant inbox blessed the screen of my laptop.

"Dear Priya Kapoor..." It read.