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"I can't overcome the sadness in my heart,
Another one of my sleepless nights,
I endure it once more,
I really don't mind the sadness,
It absentmindedly wakes me up again in the morning"
- Hug Me - > Jeong Jun Il
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She fondly looks at the stadium filled to the brim with her adoring fans enthusiastically cheering, placing a hand over her heart her eyes gloss over with unshed tears as an overwhelming feeling of gratitude washes over her. "Thank you all so much for coming tonight. Thank you all for sharing this experience with me. You have made all of my dreams come true, I love you". A resounding cheer is heard throughout the stadium as she ends her speech to her fans not forgetting to say goodnight as she exits the stage . She gratefully bows thanking all of her crew members for their hard work, ready to take her leave and head home.
"Good evening Miss Hara, Will you be going straight home or will you be staying with Miss Yeo tonight?" , her driver Joon asks cautiously. "Please take me home, It's late already I wouldn't want to disturb Haru at this hour" , bowing slightly at her request he begins the journey to her home. She sits quietly with a small smile on her face as she stares out the window admiring the passing landscape. "Miss Hara, we have arrived" "Thank you Joon please drive home safely" "Thank you Miss Hara have a wonderful evening further", with a bow the driver gets into the car and leaves the property while Sun-Hee is left staring at the beautifully furnished home with a deep frown on her face. Entering her home she lets out a deep sigh as she is enveloped by the feeling of emptiness wrapping around her like a blanket.
It was around midnight, just like every other night, she was experiencing the horrible nightmare again. This nightmare has plagued her throughout her childhood and followed her into adulthood left her heart beating fast, covered her in a cold sweat and filled her body with an inconsolable amount of dread as she tried to escape her own consciousness. She is jolted awake, finding it incredibly difficult to catch her breath. Unconsciously she wraps her arms around herself using the butterfly technique she had learned when she was 9 years old, desperately trying to calm down. Lying down cautiously she stares blankly at the ceiling in an attempt to distract herself from the recurring hell that she so vividly pictures in her subconscious every other night.
Routinely waking up more exhausted than when she initially went to sleep, she prays to a God that she does not believe in to get a dreamless rest. Gradually falling asleep the uncomfortable feelings of dread and crippling anxiety are replaced with a deep sense of longing to be held and loved while she hugged her pillow close to her body.
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"The injury seems worse than I thought it'd be,
The pain seems to dig in deeper than I thought it would,
In the countless nights I spent resenting you,
It feels like I'm in hell"
- Hug Me - > Jeong Jun Il
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