Always

Chapter Five: The Tear In My Heart

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“June?” Hearing his voice tears me apart all over again. I look up to see him, and he seems like he wants to smile, but he couldn't. 

   “Hey Brian…” I wipe my eyes, the tears making me feel weak all over. 

   “I honestly don't know what to say to you.” He may feel that way, but I've got a lot to say.

   “Why're you here?” I hear myself ask. 

   “What?” 

   “You heard me.” Brian sighs, pushing his fingers through his hair like he's always done whenever he's frustrated. 

   “My dad lost his job. So I have to stay with Aunt Becky until he finds another one.” 

   Mentioning Aunt Becky made me suddenly miss the times I had with her. The conversations we've had. 

   “Sorry to hear.” Brian looks at me, those blue eyes that I remember falling into. 

   “Yeah, thanks.” I chew on my lip, wanting to disappear, to never return. 

   “June, I…” he stops talking when I look away, afraid for what he might say to me. “I missed you.” 

   He missed me. But he doesn't miss me. 

   Without even thinking, I say, “Yeah. I missed who I was too.” 

   I walk away from him, not even looking back. I catch up with Mia, who was already eating her lunch at our spot near the lunch room's windows. 

   “I tried waiting for you, but the food was calling my name.” I only nod as I sit beside her, staring out the window. 

   “You okay?” I could lie. Say everything's okay. That nothing really even happened. I could pull it off. But I can't lie to Mia. I just can't. 

   “Brian's back…” I say as softly as possible. The look on Mia's face told me that she somehow already knew this. 

   I was suddenly angry. 

   “Why didn't you tell me?” 

   “Brian wanted you to find out for yourself. I begged to tell you, but he refused.” 

   I want to believe her, but I feel like she's lying to me. 

   “Does Brad know?” 

   “He was the first to know.” Of course he was. Brad and Brian were like brothers. 

   “Cool.” I want to go home. I want to scream until I couldn't no more. I want...What do I want? Then the answer hits me, tearing me apart: I want him back. 

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