Fated

Chapter Fourteen: The Hotel Room

The bed in my hotel room is rickety and worn, but after having walked in the cold and the rain for the past hour, its comfort is beyond appreciated. 

This hour of walking had taken me into a town not too far from the pack grounds – a human town, of course.  

Quaint, homey and pretty conservative, the little town has a very safe, comforting atmosphere. Most of the buildings are similar in style to log cabins – thus, they are similar in style to many of the pack buildings.  

This hotel is the only one in town, it seems. It’s one of those small, cheap hotels, not near anything particularly nice – just a quaint, local hotel for passers-by. Nothing fancy about it – just function. 

But it’s cosy – the floors are wooden and the walls are a warm, yellow-white. The décor is similar, in a lot of ways, to the décor of many of the lower-ranking packhouses.  

The similarities both hurt and comfort me right now... 

At least, the price of the hotel only took a small portion of the money Jason had given me - a small relief right now. Though, I need to figure out my next steps ASAP. I can’t stay in this hotel room forever, and Jason’s money will only get me so far. 

And I refuse to contact him again for more.  

I can barely even think about him right now... 

After paying for my room for the next few nights, I had immediately clamoured into my room’s shower.  

Shivering, nauseated and downright exhausted, I hadn’t even bothered to take my clothes off – they were already soaking wet anyway, so there was no point. 

I sat there for a while, in the corner of the shower, with my knees to my chest. Probably about 40 minutes. About halfway through I stripped my clothes off, and just let the warm water embrace my body.

The heat pouring down on me felt like a small, very temporary band-aid on my internal wounds, washing away some of the stabbings at my heart.

I let the water envelop me and just silently cried, in the corner of the small shower of this cheap hotel - too exhausted to do anything else. I just let myself exist. Let myself feel what I was feeling. 

And after a while, I felt stable, or numb enough, I suppose, to stand up and get dressed.  

Now, my body feels warm, and my hair feels clean.  

Another small comfort. 

Now, at this moment, I sit cuddled up under the duvets, soft pyjamas on and the small tv playing in front of me – the same drama I had been watching before, it seems. It’s been a while, so the story has progressed so much that I’m not even sure who is who anymore.  

Regardless, the background noise is comforting. 

As I lie on the bed, my mind is blank – not even taking in the show. The pain inside of me still gnaws. 

I haven’t let myself think about everything yet. Not consciously, anyway.  

I don’t think I can. 

It feels easier to just try to ignore it all. 

I sigh, my eyes closing as my head rests on the headboard of the bed. 

Before I can try to relax a little, my stomach gurgles ferociously, causing me to jump a little in surprised response. 

I suppose I haven’t eaten anything today... 

I still don’t have much of an appetite, to be honest - I’m not in the mood to eat.  

But as I glance down at my stomach, I pause, and my face softens a little. 

As much as I don’t care about myself or my own life right now, I know that I am responsible for this cub. I know that I need to do everything in my power to protect and nurture my cub, my baby.  

So, I check the small leaflet on the bedside table. It’s a thin, cheap thing. Plain white paper, with black writing, cheaply laminated – the kind you learn how to do when you’re in school.  

Written in comic sans – an unfortunate font choice – the menu has a small list of basic foods available all night.  

Picking up the little phone, I quickly place an order for some chicken nuggets and fries.  

For a moment I was worried my voice wouldn’t come out, my throat crisp from dehydration – but I managed to barely croak out a legible response.  

Hopefully, this small meal is enough to satisfy the needs of my little cub for tonight. 

I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you, little one. I’ll try to take better care of you. 

I begin thinking absentmindedly about the future of my cub, and I can feel a tiny, tired smile on my face. 

I have a future with my cub. 

And just like that, the world doesn’t feel quite so lonely anymore. The overwhelming pain gnawing at my insides subdues a little. 

My moment of silent appreciation, however, is interrupted by the sound of knocking on the door. 

I must have been in a daze for longer than I had realised. 

The food, delivered by a young, annoyed-looking man, is delicious in my starving state, and once I’m finished, I’m simply grateful for my appetite returning. 

It’s a shame I can’t live off of this forever. 

And suddenly, like a sweeping wave, the pain gnawing at me inside rises once again, and I know, if I focus on it for a second, I’ll break. 

I can’t let myself think about everything that has happened. Not yet. I need to survive.  

So instead, I look forward. I plan. 

Moving to my purse perched atop my suitcase, I take out the slips of paper Jason had given me.  

Scrawled elegantly on the first one is a contact for somewhere to live. 

It’s late, but sending a text should be fine... They can just reply to it later. 

‘Hello. Alpha Jason gave me this number. I'm looking for an apartment – he told me to contact you, for help. My name is Claire.’ 

I press the number in and hit send.

I had spent longer than necessary constructing that message, distracting myself, and now that I’m done, that gnawing pain within me grows and grows.  

But before I can find something to distract myself with, my phone rings.  

My Mum. 

Shit. 

A/N:

Hello again!

I hope you're enjoying the story still :))

This chapter is shorter than usual. It's a bit more filler-like, to allow the story to progress, which I don't really like writing tbh. I find it boring lol, but it's gotta be done!

I'll update again tomorrow to compensate :))

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