POSER

POSER: Chapter 4: The Beginning

It was a lovely Saturday morning and I finally saved enough money to get online. After eating my breakfast, I rushes to the internet cafe to rent a PC. I'm the first one to rent a PC that day and same as before I rented the once located on the darkest part of the shop so no one can check what I'm doing.

I immediately logged in on my f*******: account and I was surprised to see that some of the people I added or sent a friend request with accepted it including Jules and he also replied with "Hello."

I replied back saying "How are you?" and surprisingly, he was currently online so, he replied back saying "I'm fine. Do I know you?"

I was really feel giddy and a little bit giggling in silent as I finally spoke with Jules through chat for the first time. It was the best moment I had ever experienced online.

I replied to his question with "I don't think so? But, I find your photos interesting. Can we be friends?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: A new slut in town was born!!! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!!!

He replied with "Sure. Where are you from, by the way?" He asked.

I replied "I live in Canada" as that's where Sarah lives now.

Then, he replied back saying "Oh, that's too far." and I replied "Yeah.. I used to live in your country back then until my parents decided to migrate here which is unfortunate as I don't want to live here."

He replied "That's sad. Anyway, have you eaten your breakfast yet? Wait.. if you're from Canada, what time is it now there?" he asked and I wasn't see that coming.

He is asking me about what time is it now in Canada, how would I know? I never been there. I checked the clock on the PC and it was 10 in the morning so I replied "10 in the evening." I don't really know what time was it in Canada that day to be honest, I was just kinda resourceful.

"Oh.. so, the time there and here are just the same but, it's the other way around.. okay. Now I know ?." He replied.

Oh my god! He sent a smiley emoji. I think, he's starting to fell in love with me. Just kidding. But, kidding aside, I'm starting to love doing this. I know, this is bad but knowing that I can chat someone I like using a different identity, makes me want it more. We chatted for almost an hour until I had to say goodbye as the time I rented is up.

"I need to sleep now as it's getting late. Goodnight."

That's the last message I sent him that day before I logged out of my account without waiting for his reply as the owner of the shop keeps on bugging me if I will extend my rent or not. Since I no longer have money to extend it, I just logged out and probably checks his reply on Wednesday next week or once I already saves enough money.

I went back home with a huge smile on my face as I'm very happy with what happened today. It was the best day of my life. I chatted with one of my crush - Jules which not to mention, he's one of our school heartthobs. Most girls and even gay students at our school gaze at him whenever he walks on the corridor of each classrooms. He's actually my first ever crush at school since I enrolled in my first year in high school.

A few days had passed and we chatted until he decided to take a step in asking my phone number since I'm not online everyday.

"You'll going offline again. I'll definitely miss you again. ?". He chatted and I replied with "Don't worry. I'll chat you again on weekends ? anyway."

Then he replied "Yeah and we're just chatting for like, twice a week?"

- "I want to talk to you everyday."

- "Can I get your number so, we can just text?"

- "That way, you don't need to get online anymore."

I gave him my number and he texted me right away saying "Hi Nics, it's Jules. I'll save your number now." I quickly saved his number on my phone too after he texted me.

After I logged out, I went back home and continue texting him until one day, he ask me if I can be his girlfriend.

OMG! He just asked me to be his girlfriend. He will be my first boyfriend? My highschool crush - a heartthrob at our school is going to be my boyfriend? Is this for real? He texted again telling me it's okay if I don't want to be his girlfriend and that he understand that we never met so how would I say yes.

But, inside of me, I wanted to say yes. Okay.. I have to reply so I replied "Yes. I can be your girlfriend." then he asks "You're now my girlfriend?" and I replied with a yes.

We texted for days and weeks until...

[Phone rang sound]

Oh my god! He's calling. What do I do? He'll found out who am I once I answered his call. I was afraid and nervous that time so I ended the call. He called me multiple times but I kept ending the call as he will know who am I once he heard my voice so, I texted him with an alliby saying that I have a sorethroat and I can't speak right now. He took that alliby and told me to text him once my sorethroat gets well so he can call me right away as he wants to hear my voice.

This is insane! I knew it was a terrible idea. I shouldn't push it through in the first place. Why wouldn't I thought that this would happen? That he will call me. So, I guess this is the end? But, our relationship is just new. We've only been in a relationship for less than a month and valentine's day is approaching in less than a week. I don't want to break with him this yet, I can't. What would I do?

I don't know what to do back then so I asked Jason as he might know what to do. He's more expert than me in terms of this kind of thing. I immediately texted Jason and asked him if he can visit me at home as my mom and brother went to the mall while my dad had to go to work.

Jason came and we seated.

"What do you want to talk about?" Jason asked.

"Okay.. how do I start?" I trembly replied.

"Hey, tell me, what happen?" He asked.

"Okay.. so, remember the day that we first talked about you being a poser?" I replied.

"Yeah? What about it?" He asked.

"Okay.. so, what happened was, I took that idea after we talked about it and tried to create mine." I replied.

"No way?!" He surprisingly replied with a smirk.

"Yes. So, I created mine and tried chatting our school heartthrobs like Justin, Elvin and Justin and..--"

"No freaking way. You just did that? For real?" He surprisingly replied again with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah.. I really had a huge crush on those guys. So here it goes, Jules, you know him? The tall white guy who keeps roaming around the school during breaktime."

"Ummhmm.."

"So, he replied to my chat and we started chatting until he asked for my number and I gave it to him."

"No, you didn't?!" He replied.

"Yes. I know it was the shitiest idea to give my number but how can I resist? He's right, we misses each other as I only go online like twice a week and that's the only time that I can ever speak to him."

"I know but you shouldn't gave your phone number to him in the first place." he replied.

"I know and I didn't realized that he would ever call me."

"So now, he's calling you?" He replied with a smirk.

"Yes and I kept on rejecting the call as I don't want him to hear my voice because he would know who am I. I don't want him to know that I'm gay." I trembly replied.

"Absolutely. He should never find this out."

"Right. So, what do I need to do?" I confusely asked.

"Stop texting him." He replied.

"H-hah?"

"Stop texting him. Block him on your phonebook so he wouldn't call you and block him on your f*******: friends list so he wouldn't bug you anymore. In short, end your relationship with him." He replied.

I was really shocked about Jason's resolution on this mess. He wants me to stop texting Jules and end my relationship with him but, I can't. I don't want to stop talking to Jules. I've never ever experienced this thing.

Jules, gave me the love I've been longing for and now I have to end it like this? This will be the most heartbreaking moment that I will ever experience in my entire life.

"B-but.. I don't want to end our relationship. I don't want to stop texting Jules. I-I loved him already and..--"

"But he doesn't love you. He only love the girl you're using as your profile picture because he thought it was you. You have to wake up on this dream that us, gays, will never find true love by a guy we like unless of course, if you're a girl. And you have a v****a that they can f**k. Wake up girl!" he replied.

"B-but.. what if I just told him who am I and..--"

"And then what? You think he will understand once you tell 'em the reason why you did this? Are you out of your mind? People like Jules will never understand our reasons. He would rather punch you in the face than accepting your sorry. You'll never want to be punch by him, are you? He'll humiliate you around the school and a lot of students from our school will surely bullies you for doing such a bad idea. Do you want that?!" he replied.

I wasn't able to reply anymore as I guess Jason's right. No one will ever love our kind. Jules will never love me if he knew it was me who he's chatting with. I should've realize this would happen in the first place. Why wouldn't I think it first before giving my phone number. If I never gave him my phone number, we might still chatting by now. We might celebrate valentine's day together, chatting with each other. All of this will end now.

I took Jason's advise. I stoped texting Jules and replying to his chats. He even called me multiple times but I'm always rejecting all of his calls. He continuously texted me asking me what happend and if he said something wrong. He keeps texting and calling me for days until I finally blocked his number on my phonebook and blocked him on my f*******:'s friends list so he won't bug me anymore.

*VALENTINES DAY*

Valentine's day is always a normal day for us - singles. I just hate those people selling flowers, chocolates, teddy bears and heart stuffs outside the school. It's annoying. They didn't realized that not everyone are in a relationship. Not everyone has a date on Valentine's day. Not everyone likes flowers, chocolates and teddy bears. And not everyone likes Valentine's day.

They would even greet us with "Happy Valentine's Day" greetings and they'd offered us flowers like for god's sake, why would I buy flowers? In the first place, I should be the one to receive flowers and chocolates, and teddy bears. I should be dating someone right now but, who would dare to date me? A fat gay with a body odor that smells pretty badly and has pimples all over his face? So, no one, right?

I looked down and went back home so I don't see those valentine's stuffs they're selling and those people dating around.

I just got home and opened the door. No one's here and my mom left a note that she attached on the fridge saying "We're at the mall." They always goes to the mall most of the time without me but that's fine, I don't like going to the mall anyway.

I lay in bed after changing my clothes and started playing game on my phone but I got suddenly bored and remembers the time I'm exchanging replies with Jules until I goes to my phonebook's setting and unblocks Jules' phone number.

I immediately received tons of messages from Jules and read each one. Now I realized how Jules really love me. After reading all of his messages, I felt really bad for hurting him. I should never chatted him back then.

I started replying on one of Jules' message just to greet him "Happy Valentine's Day" but whenever I'm trying to hit "send", I always remember what Jason told me a few days ago. To stop texting him. To get over him but I really can't get over him. He's my first love. He's the first guy who teaches me how to love and what it feels to be loved.

I tried stopping myself from sending that message until a cockroach flew to me. And since I was scared especially on flying cockroaches, I mistakenly sent the message to him. God! I hate this cockroach! Damn'it! I quickly run to get a pair of slippers and I slap it to death. And I killed it. Damn cockroach!

I immediately receives a reply from Jules after I mistakenly sent the message "Happy valentine's day too."

- "How are you?"

- "I miss you so much."

- "I thought you'll never ever reply to me. again."

- "What happened?"

- "Did I say something wrong?"

I replied with "Stop texting me." he suddenly calls me but I rejected it and texted him "Stop calling me."

- "Let's end this relationship now."

- "I don't want to hurt you."

He replied "But you already hurted me when you stops replying to all my messages. And now, you want to suddenly stop our relationship without telling the reason?"

- "Why? Did something bad happened?"

- What did I do wrong? ?"

I replied "You wouldn't understand. I don't want to hurt you anymore." he replied saying "Of course I do. I would understand if you just tell me."

- "Please don't end our relationship like this."

He begged and I felt terribly sad. I don't want to hurt Jules in the first place but once he knew that I'm gay, he will definitely gets mad at me.

" I'm gay so please stop texting me."

- "I'm going to block your number now."

- "Goodbye Jules."

I texted him and he replied saying "What do you mean you're gay?" and I replied with "I'm Gay. Gay with a body of a man and heart of a woman so please stop texting me."

- "I'm going to block your number now."

- "Goodbye Jules." and he suddenly calls and I rejected it.

He texted again begging me to answer the call as he just wanted to know the truth. I just told him thay I'm gay for him to stop texting me but he somehow doesn't believe in me. Not until he finally hears my voice.

[Phone rang sound]

I answered his call for the first time and I felt really sad hearing his trembling voice crying out loud. "Nics please tell me you're joking."

- "You're not Gay."

- "I know you're just messing with me to stop texting you but I can't."

- "I don't want to stop texting you."

- "I don't want to end our relationship."

- "Please, I'm begging you Nics, say something."

- "I want to hear your voice please... ?"

Tears started to fall from my eyes as I felt badly hurt hearing him cries. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't want to hear him crying. I hate myself for doing such a bad thing like this. I ended the call and started crying as I felt really hurt until I fell asleep...

I woke up at around 12 midnight and my family are all asleep now. I checked my phone and sees 21 missed calls and 10 messages from Jules. I really felt heartbroken as I hurted Jules feelings. I just hope that he finally get's over me and I also hope I have the courage to apologize to him personally.

I replied on one of Jules's messages saying to aplogize and finally say goodbye and I immediately blocked his number on my phonebook to stop receiving calls and text from him.

Few days had passed and I'm starting to get over with Jules until...

[Phone rang sound]

I receive a call from an unknown number so I answered it to find out who's calling.

"Hello, who's this?" I asked as I answered the call.

"So.. you're really gay."

I stumbled as I got shocked to hear that voice. It was Jules' voice. I didn't knew he would change his number and call me.

"Hello? Nics.. answer me."

He sounded mad so I ended the call and texted him saying "Please stop calling me. I'm not Nics, you got the wrong number."

He replied saying "I know you're Nics, don't make an alliby."

- "I just want to know the reason why you did this?"

- "Why did you use someone else's photo and makes me fell in love?"

- "Did I do something wrong to you and you're taking your revenge?"

- "I know I was a bully and I apologize if I ever hurted you or what but please.. just tell me why did you do this?"

I didn't replied so we won't start a conversation until he called me back that I accidentally answered. "Hello Nics.. Please.. I just want to know who you really are."

- "Where you from?"

- "Maybe we can see each other personally, that way you can better explain to me why you did this?"

- "What do you think?"

I immediately ended the call and turned off my phone for a while. I visited Jason's house to get some advise.

"How's your relationship with Jules?" Jason asked.

"I already told him." I answered.

"Told him what? " He asked with confusions

like he has no idea what I'm talking about.

"I told him that I'm gay so he would stop bugging me." I answered.

"No way! You really did that?" He surprisingly replied.

"Then, what is his reaction?" He added.

"He cried after we broke up." I sadly answered.

"Oh my god! He really loves you, aren't he?"

"Yes and he even changes his number and called me earlier and he finally heard my voice and he sounded really mad." I added.

"Why did you answer the call in the first place?" He sarcastically asked.

"Because it was from an unknown number and I always answers call from them. It might be an emergency or something."

"That's bad. You need to change your number now." He advised.

"What? But why?" I confusely answered.

"Because he knows your number for godsake. And you said it yourself, he changes his number just to call you and unfortunately you answered his call so he now knows that you're really Gay. Now, even if you block that number he'll surely change his number and try to call again until he knows the truth about you. You don't want him to knows the truth, aren't you?"

"How could I change my number now? I don't have money to buy a new sim card." I said.

"Don't worry, I got you! You're lucky that I'm your friend and we owns a convenient store that sells a prepaid sim card." He replied.

"But I don't have anything to pay you."

"You don't need to pay me and I'm not asking you to pay me anyway. I'm giving this for free but never tell this to anyone because once my mom finds out that I gave you a free sim card, she will surely scold me." he replied.

"Okay.. Thank you Jayson." I replied and went back home.

When I arrived home, I quickly turned on my phone and saw 11 missed calls from Jules and some angry messages. He also messaged me with bad words like the "F" word. He was really mad and I can't blame him as I'm the one who lied in the first place.

I immidiately turned off my phone again to change my sim card.

Now that I finally changed my phone number, I should get over now with Jules. I should also delete that f*******: account with different profile picture as well as it was really a bad idea, in the first place.

TO BE CONTINUE...