ENTHRALLED BY YOU

HEARTBROKEN

HEARTBROKEN

The soft music playing in the background of the car brought soothing relief to the young woman sitting behind the wheels, bubbling her head up and down to the lyrics of the music blaring from the car radio as she approached the second intersection on her way to work.

The light was red and slowly counting down to it’s last minute when her phone rang in her bag.

Slowly ruminating through the slits in her bag she grabbed her phone.

“Ahhgg” she exclaimed when it slipped off and dropped onto the passengers side of the car. 

Taking off her seat belt, she reached down to pull out her phone, which should have taken only seconds, but the next thing she knew, was the feeling of her flying, a sharp pain, and darkness.

The nightmares were back.

Jerking awake with the speed of lightening to a dull headache and sore eyes, Lisa couldn’t help but feel more distraught at her helplessness. 

She was mad at herself for letting a man reduce her to this state which was evident in the boxes of used tissues scattered everywhere in room, the empty chocolate wrappers, and wine bottles littered on the floor and smudged on her face, because she always prided herself to be a woman of strength and composure. 

The sad soppy movies she had been watching for the past two days has had no remedy to her bleeding heart, neither was the calls and text messages from her family any good to her emotional state. 

Barricading herself in her fortress of gloom was the only way she could allow herself lash out, and retreat into her tiny world of tears and anguish.

Lisa shut her eyes again as sunlight suddenly enveloped the whole room, and cast it in brightness so piercing it hurt her eyes. Lisa groaned and dove back under the duvet when she realized who the enemy to her solitude was.

“Maria, Stop !!”, Lisa screamed as the duvet got yanked from above her head, and thrown on the floor.

What are you still doing here, I thought you left last night?

“Technically I did”, replied Maria, but I couldn’t bear to leave you alone in your state, so I came back and snuck into your room. I slept in the corner, not wanting to disturb your sleep. By the way, you thrash like a wounded animal in your sleep.

“Go away, you are not supposed to still be here”, Lisa told her, you should be at work. 

The moment Lisa made that pronouncement, it hit her hard that today was Monday, and she should also be thinking about work. 

Looking around for my phone but couldn’t find it in the mess, I squinted at the clock on the wall to check the time.

“Oh My God !!” Lisa yelled, bolting out of bed, pausing briefly as the effect of too much alcohol in her system hit hard, and made her swoon precariously, almost falling face down if she hadn’t held on tight to the edge of the bed.

“Why didn’t you wake me up Maria, it’s so late and I am going to be late for work”, Lisa yelled at Maria, in a semi high pitched voice that clearly told Maria she was pissed. Lisa was angry she overslept, but not entirely at herself, since it wasn’t her fault she felt so weak and broken.

“If you had stopped wining for the last two minutes, I could have told you I called ahead to inform HR that you would be needing the week off to deal with personal matters”, Maria said.

The relief Lisa felt was evident and visible in her features. 

“You welcome Lisa”, Maria said.

“I couldn’t let you go to work in this state, it would be a disaster”, Maria explained.

Tears threatened to spill again as it filled Lisa’s eyes at the tenderness and love Maria had shown her these last few days. 

Although Maria was dying to know what happened at the restaurant with Stephen, she hasn’t asked Lisa about it. Lisa was very grateful to Maria for respecting her privacy and not pushing too hard.

“He fell in love with someone else who is also heavily pregnant for him”, Lisa told Maria, before I lost the courage to get it off her chest. 

They must have been dating for a long time which means Stephen never loved me for me.

Maria crossed the room in short strides and hugged Lisa to her chest as she heaved all of her pain onto Maria’s shoulders. 

Maria hugged her tightly, gently stroking her fingers down Lisa’s back.

“Shush girl”, don’t blame yourself for something you had no control over, Maria said in a soothing voice. 

“It wasn’t your fault Lisa, you were honest with him from the very beginning but he took it for granted and didn’t return the favor when it mattered the most”, she counseled wisely.

“It hurts so much.. I feel used”, Lisa told Maria a midst the torrents flowing down her eyes. 

“I knew he wanted kids, we were open to trying other options”, Lisa sniffed. 

‘Why didn’t he tell me he was no longer interested, he had to bring the result of his infidelity and rub my nose in it for special effects”, Lisa lamented, tore by the image of Elizabeth’s pregnancy. It was a feeling she would never experience.

“Maria I felt torn from the inside out when I realized she was actually pregnant for Stephen”, Lisa told her.

Sniffing, she sagged on Maria’s shoulders as all the strength she had left was suddenly zapped out of her.

“Come sit darling”, Maria said and she followed her to the edge of the bed and sat down. 

“What hurt you the most?”, Maria asked Lisa. The question was unexpected, but Lisa could only think of one thing that made her want to punch something these past few days.

“Stephen didn’t want to tell me”, she said said to Maria. “Elizabeth had to make him schedule that meeting at the restaurant”, Lisa said. 

“He was willing to ride out the truth for as long as it took, and I hate myself for being with such a coward”, Lisa confessed to her friend. 

“Stephen couldn’t even look me in the eye as he spilled the beans”, Lisa lamented, “we dated for three years, and he just threw it all away like we didn’t matter”, she said.

“Listen to me Lisa”, Maria said, “every heartbreak comes with it’s lessons. It is for you to pick up the pieces of your life back, and add that lesson to your journal, because now you are wiser”, she said.

“You cannot allow this to be a stumbling block for you Lisa; you are strong and will overcome”, Maria said.

The tears spilled over again, and Maria just held on tightly as she rocked Lisa and absorbed her pain.