s*x LIFE

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Elena's point of view

Hot water runs on my skin, and my thoughts drown in the still burning memory of what has just happened. I close my eyes, press me against the tiled wall, and I still feel his hands on me, his lips ... Damien.

Lucas, my poor Lucas. You are outside, somewhere, with a pizza in your hands and a smile on your face, thinking how much I love you. But, here in this bathroom, I am a woman plagued by a desire that I have not felt for a long time.

It all started with a look. Damien and I did not say a word when Lucas slammed the door leaving. This silence, however so innocent at the start, was responsible for electricity. I don't even know who took the first step. Maybe him, maybe me. But as soon as his fingers touched my hand, I knew that there would be no going back.

It was not just a drive. It was as if something buried in me woke up. A passion, an intensity that I had never felt with Lucas. Damien ... He knew exactly where to put his hands, how to kiss me, how to make me feel beautiful, desirable, alive.

I run a hand in my hair, trying in vain to chase these thoughts, but they come back, stronger. It was not a stolen moment; It was a true moment. And now I wonder: why don't I feel that with Lucas? Why do I feel more alive with my boyfriend's friend than with him?

Lucas deserves better. Or maybe I deserve better.

I sigh, guilty and lost, but also strangely filled. The water begins to cool, but I remain motionless, the burning memories in my mind. What are I going to do now? Can I claim that none of this has happened?

One thing is certain: what I felt tonight ... I can never forget it.

In the shower, the water that slides on my skin helps me to hide my guilty thoughts. However, deep down, a strange mixture of satisfaction and guilt torments me. But before I can think too much, a noise at the door interrupts the thread of my thoughts.

It's Lucas.

"Elena, the pizzas are there!" He said in a jovial voice, surely satisfied with his evening choice.

I breathe deeply, bringing together my ideas. I feel like the smell of what I just did is everywhere on me.

- I'm almost finished!, I answer, raising my voice so that it can hear me through the sound of water.

I close my eyes for a moment, trying to refocus. But Damien's image returns to my mind. His hands, his breath, that moment that I should never have lived.

I cut the water and get out of the shower. By grabbing the white towel hung next door, I wrap myself in it. It’s a gentle, almost luxurious towel that slightly sticks me with still damp skin. The f****d mirror brings me back an image that I struggle to recognize: me, my hair in disorder, with a brilliant look. A woman who has just done something that she can never admit.

I take inspiration and get out of the bathroom. Lucas is there, sitting on the sofa, a box of pizza open in front of him. When he sees me in, his eyes go away slightly.

-Well, if I had known that you would go out dressed like that, I would have taken champagne with the pizzas, he jokes, smiling, a mixture of surprise and admiration in the gaze.

I smile, playing the game. This towel is shorter than I thought, and she marries my curves in an almost provocative way. I see him swallowing, and familiar heat settles in the room.

I slowly approach, my bare feet touching the ground. Lucas puts the pizza box on the table, his eyes not leaving mine. I lean slightly, as if I wanted to inspect the pizza, but I know what I do. I see him turn away from a fraction of a second before bringing them back to me, and I feel a strange satisfaction.

-So what did you take? Pepperoni?, I ask, pretending to be innocence while slowing up slowly.

He laughs gently, a nervous laugh.

- Yes, your favorite.

I approach a little more, putting one hand on his shoulder, just enough for him to feel the warmth of my skin.

-Thank you, Lucas, you always think of everything, I whispered gently, my breath bordering on his ear.

He shivers slightly under my contact, and I feel a momentum of power. But this power, although exhilarating, does not fill me as much as the one I felt with Damien. This thought strikes me like a cold shower, and I move back slightly.

-I'm going to dry myself, I said smiling. Like that, we can taste these pizzas quietly.

Lucas nods, a smile always stuck on his face, his eyes following each of my movements while I leave the room.

Back in my room, I rely against the closed door. My heart is beating everything, but not for the right reasons. I tried to seduce Lucas, to play this role of perfect girlfriend, but part of me feels detached. I can't forget Damien, nor what I felt in his arms.

Lucas deserves better than that. However, at this precise moment, I do not know if I am able to be better.

I stay in the room for a few minutes, time to resume my minds. In front of the ice, I dry my hair while avoiding crossing my own look. What I did this evening already haunts me, but I don't have the luxury of letting my emotions betray me. Lucas is there, in the living room, and he suspects anything.

I choose a light bathrobe to replace the towel and lets my hair still slightly damp fall on my shoulders. Upon entering the living room, I give him a smile. A smile that I hope natural, but which hides a storm inside.

Lucas is already installed, a part of pizza in his hand, and he looks up at me.

-Come on, I kept your share warm, he said, tapping the place next to him on the sofa.

I sit near him, almost as if everything was normal. And maybe everything is normal ... at least in appearance. Lucas hands me a plate with a well -stocked part of pizza.

"It's still hot," he added, smiling.

-Thank you, I said slowly, taking the share in my hands.

I take a bite, and for a second, everything seems to become simple. The pizza is good, the melting cheese, and Lucas is there, by my side. But every smile I send to him, every word exchanged, reminds me that I lie.

-So, have you relaxed in the shower ?, He asked me, crunching in his pizza.

I nod, playing the innocent.

- Yes, it did me good. Thank you for taking care of the pizzas, you are the best, I say with a sincere smile.

He laughs gently, satisfied with my answer.

We eat together, sharing laughter and anecdotes as if nothing had changed. Lucas tells me about his day, his colleague at the office who still made blunders, and I laugh at his jokes as if everything was fine.

But inside, this is another story. Whenever I come across her gaze, I feel a touch of guilt. However, I play my role to perfection. I am the attentive, funny girlfriend, the one who appreciates every moment spent with him.

When he takes my hand after finishing his share, I do not back down. I let him intertwine his fingers with mine, and I try not to think of Damien, nor what I did with him.

-I love you, Elena, he suddenly whispers, eyes bright with emotion.

My heart tightens. These words, so simple and sincere, strike me like a stab. But I can't afford to betray my facade.

-Me too, Lucas, I love you, I answer slowly, forcing a smile that I hope to be convincing.

He looks at me as if I were the most important person in the world. And at that moment, I wonder if I could one day admit the truth to him. Maybe not tonight, nor tomorrow. Maybe never.