Burned By Fate

CHAPTER 004

| ETHAN |

When I wake up I feel worse than I did last night. I don't think I even got an hour's sleep at that. Despite how exhausted I was, my body didn't want to shut off because my mind was wandering. Going over imaginary scenarios and forcing myself to feel the heartbreak all over again.

I drag myself from bed and take a shower, anything to keep me busy and distracted.

Instead of grabbing breakfast like I usually do at this time with the pack, I head out the back door and sit on the patio benches. Fresh air. I need fresh air for this mind that feels nothing but c*****e and betrayal.

I don't even notice Chris sitting beside me.

Chris was the one who convinced me to go to the party last night. He's been worried about me because I've been saving myself for my mate. He is very s*x positive, now that he's found his mate, Jada, they go to s*x parties together and share themselves with others.

I have no idea how they do it. My jealousy and insecurity could never.

But I've never judged them for what they do, or their s****l status. If it makes them happy then I'm happy for them.

Chris and Jada are a power couple. I've never seen so much trust, so much love.

I've always aspired to love as hard as them because at the end of the parties, they'll always come home together no matter what.

They're open enough with each other to trust new experiences.

"What happened to you last night?" Chris nudges my shoulder.

I don't turn to face him but I can see his long curly hair out of the corner of my eye. "Wasn't my thing." I mutter.

"And you didn't even say you were leaving?"

My eyes fixate on the stone wall in front of us, taking in a deep breath because I wanted fresh air. Not an interrogation.

"Couldn't find you, sorry" I shake my head.

Chris dips his head into my view and analyses my face but I don't look at him.

"Something happened..." he trails off.

I keep quiet.

He slides closer to me. "Tell me what happened, Ethan."

"Nothing," I lie.

I love Chris. I trust Chris. But right now I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to share my sheer humiliation with anyone else but my sister, not before I've collected my own thoughts on it first.

"Sure?" He quirks a perfectly carved eyebrow at me.

"Yes," I say a little harshly. "Everything's fine."

Chris stands from the bench and shrugs.

"Alright but come in soon. All of breakfast will be gone."

"Be there in a min," I murmur to the ground.

He leaves me alone a few seconds later and I close my heavy eyes. I wish I slept.

The last person I want to face today is my father. He is the beta of the pack. I love him but he's a tough love kind of man. He means well but sometimes his dominance within the pack can shine through and cause a rift between us.

So I wait until breakfast is mostly over and sneak back inside to snatch a croissant from the side and hide in my room until further notice.

I lay in bed that night after spending an evening with Angel. She asked more about yesterday but I didn't want to talk about it. So we sat and watched movies together instead, not that I was paying any attention because my mind kept wandering.

When I'm alone I find myself scrunched up in my sheets, head firmly burrowed in my pillow. The tips of my fingers begin to tingle and I furrow my brows at the sensation. I take a look at them but they don't look any different, they feel hot, as if they're on fire.

Then when I least expected it.

“Are you there?”

I suck in a horrific breath. Her voice.

That voice.

My eyes clench so tightly that I'm sure they're about to rip open. I swallow and I swallow but nothing can cure my dry mouth. I tell myself to breathe because it's just a voice but it's her voice and I am shuddering.

The mate bond attempts to glow and grow between us but it can't get very far.

Not after the damage that has already been caused.

“Please. Are you there?”

My eyes snap open and I clench down on my jaw. “Don't mindlink me.” I grumble.

A quiver of a breath shoots through the mindlink and straight down my spine.

“I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you.”

“Stop. I beg. Just stop.”

“I can't.” She pleads. “I am broken. I can't do anything because I know I f****d up.”

I snort to myself, angrily. “f****d up. Yeah, you f****d up.”

“Please jus-“

“I said stop. Don't. Don't you dare contact me again. I swear to God.”

Then I slam up the walls on the mindlink, pushing her out. I can feel her banging to be let back in but I throw the duvet over myself and allow my eyes to let out one tear. One single tear because everything is going to come crashing down on me sooner or later.

Right now I'm still in shock.