Fetish

Episode: 9 The Weight of Goodbye

"A dream becomes real the moment you start saying goodbye."

Three weeks.

That was all it took for my life to fit inside two suitcases.

The visa approval came first.

A week later came the interview.

Even though it was conducted online, my hands had trembled the entire time.

I'd spent forty minutes answering questions from two senior attorneys at Harrington & Cole, trying to convince them that a twenty-year-old South African law student deserved an opportunity halfway across the world.

When the interview ended, I sat in complete silence.

Then the overthinking began.

You spoke too fast.

You should've expanded on that answer.

Why did you smile so much?

I groaned and buried my face in a pillow.

"I definitely didn't get it."

My phone rang.

An international number.

I frowned before answering.

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon. Am I speaking with Miss Iddie Buthelezi?"

"Speaking."

"Good afternoon, Miss Buthelezi. This is Olivia Harris from Harrington & Cole."

I sat upright immediately.

"We've completed the recruitment process."

I stopped breathing.

"And we'd like to offer you the Legal Assistant position."

For a moment...

The world disappeared.

The room.

The traffic outside.

Even my own heartbeat.

"...I'm sorry?"

The woman laughed softly.

"I said we'd like to welcome you to Harrington & Cole."

Tears blurred my vision.

"You mean..."

"I got the job?"

"You certainly did."

I pressed a trembling hand against my mouth.

"Thank you."

The words came out broken.

"So much."

After ending the call...

I cried.

Not because I was overwhelmed.

Because after months of rejection...

Someone had finally chosen me.

Dominic called later that evening.

It was just after seven in South Africa.

Which meant Los Angeles was only beginning its morning.

"You got the job."

I smiled through tears.

"You already knew?"

"I received a call."

"You arranged this."

"I arranged an introduction."

He corrected me gently.

"You earned the position."

There it was again.

The difference mattered to him.

He never wanted me to believe he'd handed me my future.

He had simply opened a door.

I was the one who walked through it.

"So..."

I smiled.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me properly?"

A quiet laugh echoed through the phone.

"Congratulations, Miss Buthelezi."

My smile widened.

"Thank you."

"I look forward to seeing what you accomplish."

Not...

"I can't wait for you to get here."

Not...

"I miss you already."

He congratulated my achievement before anything else.

And somehow...

That made my heart ache even more.

The following weeks disappeared beneath paperwork.

Employment contracts.

Medical examinations.

Travel insurance.

Visa confirmations.

Apartment lease documents.

Every signature made everything feel more real.

I wasn't just leaving.

I was beginning.

Mama insisted on helping me pack.

"You've folded this jersey four times."

"I know."

She laughed quietly before taking it from my hands.

"Come here."

I looked at her.

"You've always done this."

"Done what?"

"When you're nervous..."

"...you keep yourself busy."

She folded the jersey neatly and placed it inside my suitcase.

"As though staying occupied will stop your mind from worrying."

I laughed.

"I didn't realize I was that predictable."

"To everyone else?"

She smiled.

"Maybe not."

"To your mother?"

She gently touched my cheek.

"Always."

My throat tightened.

She picked up the framed family photograph from my bedside table.

"Take this with you."

"I'll cry every time I see it."

She smiled through eyes already beginning to glisten.

"You'll cry whether you take it or not."

"So at least let it remind you where home is."

I hugged her before another word could escape.

She held me just as tightly.

Neither of us pretended this goodbye wasn't coming.

The night before my flight, Lindiwe arrived carrying takeaway coffee and a small gift bag.

"I brought supplies."

I laughed.

"You brought snacks."

"Emotional support snacks."

She corrected.

"They're different."

We sat cross-legged on the floor between my half-packed suitcases.

Neither of us spoke for a while.

Finally, she reached into the bag.

"I got you something."

Inside was a small black leather notebook.

I ran my fingers over the cover.

"It's beautiful."

"Open it."

On the very first page, she'd written:

Wherever you go... remember that Iddie Buthelezi was brave long before she boarded a plane.

My vision blurred instantly.

"You really enjoy making me cry."

She laughed, wiping away her own tears.

"Someone has to."

I pulled her into a hug.

"No matter where life takes us..."

"...you're still stuck with me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

At four-thirty the next morning...

My alarm rang.

Two suitcases waited by the front door.

My passport rested neatly on top.

I stood in the middle of my apartment for a long moment.

This tiny place had witnessed every rejection letter.

Every late-night study session.

Every phone call with Dominic.

Every impossible dream.

I smiled softly.

"Thank you."

I wasn't sure whether I was speaking to the apartment...

Or to the girl who had once believed she'd never leave it.

I picked up my suitcase.

Locked the door behind me.

And walked toward the future waiting on the other side.