Welcoming The Darkness

Chapter One

Dear Diary,

You know as I write this to you now, I don’t think that diary is a good name. Because as of now, my life will always be a different thing. I won’t be the only one reading this. So, one day someone will look back on this and see all my deepest secrets, regrets and things I wish would happen. My life will forever be changed and I don’t know right now if that's a good or bad thing. So, ask me again in a month or two if it was the right decision or not. For now, that's all I have got. 

Signing off for now,

B.L.T.

It was a really dark and nasty day as I sat staring out my window into the nothingness. I was told not too long ago  that I would be the new host for the monthly meeting of the higher order. The amount of nerves that hit was unimaginable. I heard of these guys, the most feared and lethal guys that run this damned city. When I find peace in talking to normal guests, it just makes me nervous to even think about hosting them, but as I think about it I’m not scared, far from it. 

They gave the next two days off for me to prepare for this day at work, which I’m glad because I didn’t know how I would be able to work with a clear mind till this day approached and ended. So, I started off by buying a better pair of work clothes so it doesn’t look like I was just dragged out of bed. I want the beagle to look at least presentable to these higher people. After all , half the city and all the underground legal s**t. Where so many people thought they just owned a bunch of business, I did some digging when I saw them the first time enter our restaurant when I just couldn't imagine these big buff guys would just only be dealing in business deals. I mean they had two or three bodyguards with each one of them. Anyone smart enough would know that but never dumb enough to go digging. I thought, laughing to myself. 

Shit, if they found out I was, I’d be dead, not that I minded that. I have had s**t childhood people wouldn’t believe if I told them. I shouldn’t be alive but here I am alive and barely hanging on. I was never the first pick for anything. So, when Tommy had gotten into his accident they had to find someone new to be the hostess because they specifically wanted him. Now they were given a choice between a new one or to wait another month to hold their meeting. They chose me out of all the people, wondering why. I’m not going to give too much time to think about why. If I die that day, then so be it. I’ll finally be debt free. 

When I got home, I decided to clean my home, which was in desperate need of a deep clean. I finally have the time to do it. Starting with the kitchen, then moving to each room. By the time I was finished for the day, it was almost midnight. Deceiving to leave the laundry for the next day because that will take hours to tackle. It’ll keep my mind at ease. Waking up that next morning, I was a little queasy, but it was just nerves, I told myself, so making my way to the kitchen for some much needed coffee and food that wasn't hours old. After finishing my food, I washed the dishes and took a good hot shower letting the water hit every spot that was tense. Starting my laundry was such a stupid thing for this day. I would rather be out doing better things with my day,but might as well make sure everything was in order if anything happened.

The laundry didn't take as long as I thought it would. I was done by noon. So I made myself some lunch and sate and watched some movies and read some books. Finding myself searching for as many details about these guys after a few hours of down time, getting more nervous than before. There were six of them: Lucas, Jackson, Austin, Connar, Matteo, and Viktor. All, though they are all well known, Viktor still remains anonymous to most, only allowing those he want to know who he looks like. He always sends someone he trusts to these meetings. He never shows up. He seems to be the most powerful of the rest. They all fear him more than anyone of them. Makes me wonder what he looks like and how he smells. Smells what the hell is getting into me. I'm supposed to fear for my life around men like them. But for some reason or another I'm not. I'm just nervous I'll screw up every chance I get. Pushing those thoughts out of my head, I make dinner and get ready to call it a night. I put my clothes out for the morning and, showering, I lay down and close my eyes and end the day with the darkness that welcomes me.