From Ashes to Fire

A Dreamer

    Hot sun beams down on my small back as I follow my Uncle through the tall hay-grass field. I am youthful, with big and bright blue eyes, shoulder-length golden hair illuminated by the summer sun. I am three, filled with excitement as I run as fast as I can to the dull, broken down barn in front of me. It seemed miles away, when it was really only a couple hundred feet. Birds sing the song that fills my curious spirit as we approach closer. I am excited, my heart racing and feet pounding while my small body brims with excitement- the barn! The horsies! Look at the bright green and red strawberry patches from my grandmas garden! I can't wait to play with the hay, and "roll around" in it like my Uncle said we would! 

    Through the dulled wooden doors, fresh golden hay bales stack alongside the rotting wooden walls. Stormy and Thunder's stables clustered near the back corner, overshadowed by the loft above filled with loose hay, saddles, crops, and small gardening tools. "Hey, T! Come here, come lay with me," my thirteen year old Uncle beckons. He acts like me, but he's big! My mommy says it's because he was hurt by his daddy as a baby, so he's just a very big four year old! I lay down, excited to play with the hay because Grandma wouldn't want us to, but she wasn't watching. Grandma liked to hide in her room in the hand-built log house a lot, and Grandpa had been gone for a long time. I feel a hand on me, but I don't want to be touched. My skin hurt, and was silly looking in pretty colors from my mommy. Uncle wouldn't stop touching me, though, and I wanted to cry. He touched me everywhere, and I wasn't allowed to tell. If I told, I would get the broken spoons on my back, again. I'm really scared, where is mommy? Where is my daddy? I wish someone would stop this, I don't like it. 

    Walking back to the house after my grandma calls for us for dinner, I don't say anything. The birds don't hold the same song, and my heart hurts. I'm hungry, I'm scared... where is daddy? Daddy doesn't hurt me, daddy sings with me to sleep.