One Night Mistake

Chapter 4

Serene's POV

Para akong mababaliw dahil sa aking inaakto. Tears kept rolling down through my cheeks, not knowing what to think anymore.

Sa lahat ba naman ng bagay na makalilimutan ko, bakit ito pa? Paano kung may mabuo? This is stupid!

I'm scared. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Ayokong magpatingin dahil natatakot ako na baka may mabuo. I can just...abort the child kung may mabuo man. Hindi naman ako mamamatay tao kung sakali man, hindi ba?

My hands were shaking when I took my phone from the breakfast table and manipulated it.

Masyado akong kinakain ng konsensya but my guts weren't enough. Sobra akong naduduwag. Sobra akong natatakot maiwanan mag-isa, nang walang ni-isang nasa tabi ko.

He was the only one always there to lean on because he's the only person I am comfortable opening up with. None other than him.

I have Amber and the others but I don't want to disturb them. Parang nakasanayan ko na kay Zero lang talaga mag-open up. My world is like revolving only to him, and not myself.

Napapikit ako nang mariin at saka binato ng aking telepono, dahilan para mabasag ang isang bahagi ng aking kusina. I shouted in frustration.

"Ang sama ko..." I whispered.

I pulled my hair hard out of frustration and let my tears roll down my cheeks to my lips, making me taste the tears entering inside.

Humikbi ako. "Natatakot ako,"

It's true. God knows how scared I am right now. Not because I am scared of the criticisms, but because I am scared of the consequences.

Zero might leave me. Oh, he really will. If not, I'll be the one to leave him. I am filthy for someone perfect like him. Marumi akong babae. See what I did? Alam kong lasing ako no'n pero I could've stopped it. Hindi naman ako nawala sa wisyo talaga.

But am I willing to leave him?

Of course, no. Pero kung iyon ang paraan para hindi ko siya masaktan nang lubos, I'll do it. I have been selfish with him for the past 12 years, I think this is my time to be selfless.

Kahit masakit, sa tingin ko'y kakayanin ko namang gawin. I'm sure he'll be hurt as much as I expect if he knows this.

Lahat ng tao may limitasyon.

I tried to act fine the next day. The normal me was visible but deep inside, it really feels heavy. I replied to Zero's updates and texts and all like normal and I did my part, too.

Ganon din sa sumunod na mga araw. Just the same. Office then home. If not, office then eat with colleagues then home. Nothing special.

I didn't get myself checked because I am scared. I just pray...that nothing more will come. I don't wanna mention it. Not that I don't want one but it wasn't planned.

A week passed, and I became more normal than last week.

Papunta kami ngayon sa cafeteria ng building dahil tinamad kaming kumain sa labas ngayon. Matino at masarap naman ang pagkain dito sa cafeteria dahil chefs mismo ang nagluluto lalo na mapili si Sachzna sa pagkain sabi ni Zero sa akin.

We sat on a vacant table at saka nagtalo muna kung sinong mauunang kumuha ng pagkain. The food is free, kasama sa incentives namin as an employee of this company.

"Hindi sasabay sa atin si Miss Diane?" tanong ni Caleb na kasama naming natira ni Amber sa lamesa.

Hindi ako sumagot. Amber answered.

"She's with the manager of other departments, Caleb. Alam mo namang hindi sumasabay iyon sa atin."

Umawang ang labi ni Caleb bago akmang sumagot, ang kaso lang ay dumating na sila Anna.

Tahimik akong tumayo saka nagpunta sa aming mga pagpipilian na pagkain. Dahil hindi naman kami nagmamadali sa pag-kain, nagawa pa naming mag kwentuhan habang kumakain. Nakatanggap pa ako ng mensahe mula kay Zero, nangungumusta at nagtatanong kung kumain na ba ako.

Serene: Yes, Babe. Katatapos mo lang sa trabaho? Kain ka na.

Agad akong nakatanggap ng mensahe mula sa kanya.

Zero: No. May isa pang operation. Not really sure what time it will be done pero kakain muna ako.

Serene : Okay!! Don't forget to take care of yourself hehe luv u

Zero : All right baby. You too. I love you. See you soonest.

Pinatay ko na ang telepono ko saka iyon nilagay sa bulsa ng blazer ko bago sumunod sa aking mga kasama na papasok na ng lift.

The door was about to close when someone's hand came in between two doors.

"Sorry," Aeron's familiar voice lingered.

I stiffened when I saw his gaze drift at me. It was quick. Lumipat agad ang tingin niya kay Amber na nakipag-apir sa kanya.

"Oy! Kailan ka nagsimula?" Amber asked as soon as the door closed.

"Uy! Ngayon lang." Aeron smiled at her.

"Kilala mo, Amber?" tanong ni Caleb.

Amber rolled her eyes. "Mukha bang kakausapin ko kung hindi ko kilala? Chaka mo, pre." mataray na sabi niya.

Caleb scowled before turning his attention to Alex.

Mabuti na lamang at nasa likod ako at hindi ako masyadong kita. Aeron is tall, though. Like around 6'2 or 6'3 is his height. Basta inches apart from Aerin's height! 5'8 si Aerin, eh!

Naririnig ko ang mahihinang hagikhikan nila Anna at Lalaine sa tabi ko ngunit hindi ko nalang pinansin. Mas mabuting may kaunting ingay kaysa kainin ako ng ilang dito.

"Sa resume niya ay birthday niya lang last, last week! Thirty na siya ngayon! Bet na bet!" malanding bulong ni Lalaine kay Anna.

Mukhang narinig iyon ni Aeron dahil napalingon nang bahagya ang kanyang ulo sa banda namin ngunit ibinalik din agad ang tingin sa harap niya.

Since there's no uniform required in our company, he's wearing a plain navy blue shirt and denim jeans, perfectly paired with his triple white Balenciaga shoes. Our colored blue lanyard fitted his outfit perfectly.

I saw his reflection from the metal door; arched brows and lips rose. I secretly rolled my eyes when our eyes met from the reflection itself.

Hindi ba malinaw sa usapan namin na hindi na dapat magtagpo ang landas namin?

Pero paano naman yun gagana? We're in the same circle of friends!

So...I guess I have to bear this situation, right?

I sighed.

Yes, Charlotta Serene. Yes.

Mas nauna siyang lumabas sa amin dahil nasa babang floor lang namin ang department nila.

Kinahapunan ay halos tumalon ako sa saya nang matapos lahat ng trabaho para sa araw na ito. Gosh! This day is so exhausting!

"Huy! Tara club later? Carps ba?" aya ni Amber sa amin habang nagliligpit.

Napatingin si Diane sa amin, nakikirinig sa aming usapan.

I winced. "Lunes na Lunes, Amber! Huwag mo kaming demonyohin dahil walang magpapademonyo sa iyo!" I said.

She mocked. "Di ka sure?"

Inikot ko ang mga mata ko sa kanya at saka tinanggal ang I.D. ko at inilagay iyon sa bag ko.

"Uy, kayo? Carps ba?" she said, roaming her eyes around our officemates, including Diane.

"Pics, Amber! Saan ba?" Anna giggled and fixed her pumps.

"Around here lang," liningon niya sila Alex.

"Pass, Amber." sagot ni Alex.

Umiling si Lalaine sa kanya, "Pass, Am, sorry." aniya.

Si Caleb naman ay pumayag. Huling tumingin si Amber kay Diane na mukhang kanina pa naghihintay.

"You, Ma'am? Carps ba?" conyong sabi ni Amber.

Umiling si Diane saka nagnakaw pa ng tingin sa akin. "Hindi. Wala si Zero, eh. Walang maghahatid sa akin." aniya.

Ha! The audacity of this girl!

Pekeng ngumiti si Amber saka tumango nalang, pero halatang sa kaloob-looban niya ay gusto niya nang sapakin 'tong si Diane.

I smiled fakely when her gaze drifted at me, giving a disgusting reaction. This girl just can't respect me and my relationship with Zero! The f**k is wrong with her?

Nagpaalam na ako sa kanila at saka naunang lumabas sa kanila para kumalma at hindi makasabunot ng buhok ng higad.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I almost jumped when I heard Aeron's voice from behind while I was walking in the basement parking lot.

Lumayo ako nang kaunti sa kanya. "O-Oo! Ano bang pake mo?" I stuttered a bit.

He chuckled. "Huwag kang feeling. Kaibigan kita, malamang mag-aalala ako. Ikaw lang 'tong malikot pa rin ang isip." aniya.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

"A-Ayos lang ako. Pwede ka nang umalis." I said.

Humalakhak pa siya lalo saka umiling. "I have my car...parked here. How is that, Serene?" sabi niya pa.

Iritado ko siyang tiningnan.

"Ano ba kasing ginagawa mo rito?! Hindi ba sabi ko sa'yo, hindi na dapat magtagpo ang mga landas natin? Why did you follow me here?!" I said, irritated.

Aeron arched a brow and bit his lower lip, trying to stop a smile from forming.

"Ang assuming mo naman, dude. Malay ko bang dito ka nagtatrabaho? Tsaka tumigil ka nga kaka-echos mo riyan! Mas lalo kang napaghahalataang may nagawang kasalanan," aniya.

I stopped and glared at him, getting more irritated, but he still continued his talk.

"Look at me, just cool. I won't say acting cool because I am really cool, though. Kaya chill ka lang." aniya, nakangiti.

My eyes rolled. "Fine! Makaalis na nga! Imbyerna ka!" I said and clicked something on my keys, opening the locks of the door of my car before entering.

Pabagsak kong nilagay sa shotgun seat ang handbag ko bago sinaksak ang susi sa lalagyanan nito. Inikot ko ito para sumindi ngunit hindi sumindi ang sasakyan!

"Ano ba yan! Dadagdag ka pa ba?!" nabubuwisit na sigaw ko sa kawalan at saka pinalo ang airbag, dahilan para tumunog ang busina.

Nakita ko ang paglingon ni Aeron mula sa aking kinaroroonan, nakakunot ang noo, kuryoso. Sa isang pikit lamang, nasa may pintuan ko na siya.

"Do you need some help?" aniya.

Tiningnan ko siya nang masama. "Gago! Wala!" I slammed the door closed, making him laugh and shrug before leaving me there.

I tried to turn on the engine again, but it didn't work! Ano na? Wala ka pang limang taon sa akin!

"Punyeta talaga!" I yelled, once again, in frustration with everything.

I kept banging the airbag, not caring if the horn kept releasing noise outside. Ano bang pakialam nila? Tss!

Tiningnan ko ang harap kong sasakyan at napansing sasakyan pala iyon ni Aeron. Naroon siya sa harap at pinagmamasdan ang kinaroroonan ko, nakangisi.

I raised my middle finger at him. I am pretty sure he can see it because my car is not that tinted. He chuckled and mocked me even more!

Imbes na mabuwisit ako sa lalaking 'yon, kinuha ko na lamang ang telepono ko sa aking bag para hanapin ang pangalan ni Amber.

"Oy! Nasaan ang sasakyan mo? Makisabay nga ako! Imbyerna!" iritado kong sabi nang sumagot si Amber sa tawag ko at sumulyap kay Aeron, pinipigilang taasan ng gitnang daliri si Aeron muli na nananatiling pinanonood ako at ang aking mga galaw.

"Hala! Nasa labas parking ko kanina, girl! Puno sa basement, eh! Nakaalis na ako, kaloka ka! Nasa may lobby ang sasakyan ni Diane, huwag kang mag-alala! Aabangan ko 'yon sa kanto nila mamaya! Commute ka nalang muna, girl. Traffic, eh." aniya.

Halos manlumo ako sa kanyang sinabi. Ang ganda naman ng bungad ng linggong ito!

Panigurado sila Anna ay naka-isang sasakyan na naman at siksikan doon sa Innova ni Caleb kaya hindi na ako umasa.

Suminghap ako saka hinanap ang pangalan ng driver nila Zero at Zyriel na si Kuya Anthony sa contacts ko.

He immediately answered.

"Kuya, si Serene po ito. Nasa Taguig po ba kayo ngayon?" I asked calmly.

"Ay wala man po, Ma'am. Kay Sir Zyriel po ako nakaduty sa linggong ito, eh. Nasa Pampanga po kami ngayon para sa isang pagpupulong yata, Ma'am. Pasensya na ho. Gusto niyo po bang sabihan ko si Doc?" anito.

I nodded and sighed. "No, thanks, Kuya! Ako na po ang bahala. Thank you po!" I then ended the call and slammed my head on the airbag, stressed because I don't wanna commute.

Hindi ko na inabala pa si Zero dahil alam kong agad niyang tatapusin ang trabaho niya para puntahan ako.

Ayaw ko naman iyon dahil buhay ng mga pasyente ang hawak niya at mas importante sila kaysa sa maliit na problema ko.

Silence ate the whole atmosphere inside the car. My thoughts started floating inside my mind, making me stiffen and calm.

Bakit ba halos lahat ng kamalasan ay nasasalo ko? Nung umuulan ba nito ay naroon ako sa baha at lumalangoy pa?

Simula nang mangyayari ang pagkakamaling nagawa namin ni Aeron, nagsisidatingan na lahat ng kamalasan!

From my broken car, the higad, the possibility of me and Zero ending this relationship, to the possibility that what we did might make something inside me! Just...fuck this life!

Mayroon pa bang iba? Saluhin ko na! Tanginang yan.

Hindi sa ayaw kong magkaanak, pero this was a mistake! A one-night mistake, indeed, and all things are getting ruined! This is ruining my life.

I have been content with what I have. I buy things with my own wallet, I am contented with the properties that I have bought already. I am more than contented with Zero.

Through these years, I have always been standing up on my own, as a woman. Never have I ever cheated nor done something bad. Hindi rin naman ako nagdadamot sa mga natatanggap kong biyaya pero bakit ganoon? Kailangan pa bang dumaan sa paghihirap? Sa pagsubok?

Ang akala ko ay yung magtapos sa pag-aaral at yung trabaho namin ang pagsubok, pero hindi pala. Eto palang pala.

Hindi ko lang alam kung malalapagpasan ko ito.

I sighed before taking my things from my car. I guess I have to commute for this day.

I locked the car and walked sophisticatedly out of the basement parking, totally ignoring Aeron's presence.

He's still in front of his car, amused by me.

Iritado ko siyang hinarap. "Anong problema mo?" masungit ngunit kalmado ko nang sabi.

"It looks like you need a ride, Serene. Tara na. Kanina ka pa nagpapakipot, eh. Nangangawit na ako." sabi niya.

Ha! This man! The nerve!

But he's right! It looks like I really need a ride! Ayaw ko namang mag-taxi dahil ang mahal ng singil minsan. I guess I have...no choice, then?

Pumunta siya sa may pintuan ng shotgun seat at binuksan ito bago tumingin sa akin.

"Ano na? Wag nang mag-inarte, oy. Alam ko namang hindi ka nagcocommute." aniya.

I rolled my eyes, once again. "I never mind commuting rather than have a ride on your car! Baka kung saan mo ako dalhin!" I said exaggeratedly, making him laugh.

"Kakulit mo. Inutusan ako ni Amber na ihatid ka sa inyo, okay? Kaibigan pa rin naman ang turing ko sa'yo. Unless...nahulog ka na sa akin?" he arched a brow.

I scowled in disbelief. "Ang hangin mo eh, noh? Of course, not! Hinding hindi ako magkakagusto sa'yo! It's just that...I am not comfortable seeing you around. Nababagabag ako sa nangyari sa atin," I said, my voice getting lower, and lower.

He stopped, his grin slowly fading from his face. He seriously looked at me.

"My life is getting ruined, Aeron." I finally said.

Aeron said no response to what I said. His face has no visible reaction.

"Get in. Napag-utusan lang ako. Huwag ka nang maarte." his voice was now cold.

My feet didn't follow his command. I stood still from where I am, not planning to get inside the car.

Aeron's cold, dark, and hooded eyes bore into me, roaming it from my head to my toe.

"Pati ba paghatid ko sa'yo sa bahay ninyo, makakasira sa buhay mo? Hindi lang ikaw ang nahihirapan dito, huwag kang makasarili." kaswal na sabi niya.

"Wala ka sa pwesto ko para masabi mo yan, Aeron. Hindi mo alam ang nararamdaman ko." I fired back.

He chuckled without humor and licked his lower lip.

"Of course, I don't know. Pero look at you, talking like you're the only one in this hard situation. Ako na nagsasabi sa'yo, Serene. Hindi lang ikaw," he stated.

Nagtiim-bagang ako bago nagsimulang maglakad papasok sa kanyang sasakyan.

Ayaw ko nang makipagtalo ba dahil alam kong tama siya. Ang tanging nasa isip ko ay ang mararamdaman ko at hindi ng iba. All I thought was I was the only one in this situation...that we both did.

Sobra akong naguguluhan kaya ayaw ko na lamang magsalita. Baka ano pang masabi ko.

Tahimik lamang kaming buong biyahe, wala ni isang nagbalak gumawa pa ng usapan dahil magtatalo at magtatalo rin naman kami.

Binigay ko na lamang ang atensyon ko sa aking telepono at sinabihan si Zero sa nangyari sa akin, informing him also that I am fine now.

Zero : Sinong naghatid sayo, babe? Amber or Aeron or your other colleagues?

Agad akong nagtipa ng mensahe.

Serene : Kay Aeron.

Zero : Okay. Sa kaniya ka nalang sumabay araw-araw. He's in the same building as your condo. I'll inform Kuya Anthony to take your car into the casa. I'll just sleep. I love you.

My jaw almost dropped in disbelief when I saw his reply to me. Ayaw ko ngang makita si Aeron tapos sa kaniya pa ako sasabay? But I don't wanna stress him so...it's better to agree nalang.

Serene : Okay. Sleep well. I love you too!

I closed my phone before drifting my gaze outside, judging the traffic jams of Metro Manila, mesmerizing the beauty of skyscrapers in this well-developed city.

Mabuti pa ang siyudad na ito ay malapit na sa perpekto. Mula sa mga pasilidad, magagandang tanawin, mula sa mga nagtataasang mga gusali. Ang trapiko nalang yata ang hindi masolusyunan dito.

This city is near from a perfect one. A thing that is so far from me. So...far.

Kung itong siyudad na ito ay kayang solusyunan ang mga problema nito nang agaran...ako, hindi.

"Parehas tayo ng tower?" said, Aeron.

I just nodded.

"Ano bang nangyari at sa akin mo nilabas lahat ng galit mo?" tanong niyang muli.

I drifted my eyes to him and saw him looking at me already. We're stuck in a traffic jam for a few minutes now.

Sumagot ako, "Just few commotions on our department. Nothing big."

He nodded and returned his eyes to the road because the traffic lights had already turned green. Binalik ko na rin ang tingin ko sa bintana.

"Are you sure? Is this regarding the issue about you, Zero and your division manager?" anito.

Napatingin ako sa kanya, gulat sa nalalaman niya.

"Where did you get that chika?" I said, shocked.

He chuckled at my statement before biting his lips to refrain more laugh from coming out.

"I got the chika from Amber, mare." he mocked me that made me wince.

I looked away and bit my lips to refrain a smile from forming.

"Pero hayaan mo na yung manager mo, Serene. I'm sure she's just seeking for love kaya siya ganon." he shrugged.

He's kind of right. Pero that girl's really pathetic! Alam naman niyang kami ni Zero, bakit hindi niya pa ito tigilan? Is she really trying to get on my nerves?

Hindi na ako sumagot sa kanyang sinabi dahil wala naman na akong maisasagot pa. Tanging gusto ko lamang ngayon ay makauwi na ako nang tuluyan at makaalis na sa sasakyan na ito.

Asa naman si Zero na makikisakay ako sa lalaking ito everyday, noh!

"Where is Aerin, by the way?" I asked out of nowhere.

"Nasa bahay? Ewan ko, anong oras na rin kasi." kaswal na sabi niya.

Sumimangot ako dahil sa kapilosopohan niya. "Baliw. I mean, what is she doing while you're gone?" I said.

He shrugged and swiftly turned the airbag right.

"Probably f*****g Zyver. I don't know." aniya at nagkibit-balikat pang muli.

My eyes widened. "Hoy! Gago ka!" I laughed.

"Bakit kasi ako yung tinatanong mo," he laughed.

"Just ask her. She's probably staying with Zyver while I am gone. You know, she's pregnant." he added.

Natigil ako sa huling salitang nilabas ng bibig niya.

"By the way, you are taking pills, right? As far as I remember, I didn't use protection that night." he said, focused at the road.

"Y-Yes...but," I stuttered.

Napapikit ako nang mariin.

"But?" anito.

"I forgot to take one after we did it..." I said.

Napapreno siya nang malakas bago tumingin sa akin gamit ang nagugulat na mga mata.

"What?" he said, almost yelling.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago nagsalita muli.

"I know! I'm stupid. Pero I took one na," I said, trying to be calm.

I heard his sigh and pulled over the side of the road and faced me.

"Get yourself checked, Serene." aniya.

Fear passed through me. I shook my head. "No way. I'm sure walang mabubuo sa ginawa natin." I doubt what I said. Ano ako, doktor?

"Just get yourself checked! Paano kung may mabuo, ha? Pababayaan mo lang?" aniya, naiinis.

Irita ko siyang tiningnan pero wala akong masabi.

"I'll join you if you're going to the OB. Walang kasiguraduhan kung walang nabuong bata riyan sa loob mo, Serene. Sooner, kailangan mo na rin sabihin kay Zero ang lahat." aniya pa.

I shook my head, once again.

"Mawawala siya sa akin pag sinabi ko sa kaniya lahat, Aeron. Masasayang ang labin-dalawang taon na pagsasama namin." I said in fear, near from crying.

He calmly looked at me, convincing me.

"I'll take the blame, Serene. Hindi panghabang-buhay nakatago ang sikretong ito. Ayaw kong dumating pa sa punto na iba pa ang magsasabi nito sa kaniya. Tayong dalawa ang magsasabi." Aeron said.

Tears pooled my eyes and started falling. I hesitated before nodding.

"What are we gonna do?" naiiyak kong sabi.

He reached for my cheeks and gave me an assuring smile.

"I'll take responsibility with everything, okay? Don't be scared. Don't be, okay?" he caressed my cheeks, wiping my tears.