The Path One Follows

Fear Of The Future

There was a lot of commotion going on in their wagon when Junior got back. A quick hlance produced a scene out of a horror tale. Frank was brandishing his belt as a weapon. Jolie laid on the floor, red welts showing in her cheek.

"You're a no good w***e and this only proves it!"

"Proves what, Frank?! That I'm grateful to be alive. I'm grateful that our son is alive. I sent the man a bowl of soup, I didn't ask to share his bed. "

"You may as well have. I've seen you. Day dreaming everywhere. You have no focus until he turns up."

"I appreciate what he's done. That's all there is. Why are you so angry at me?"

"Because I can be!! I'm your husband. You'll do what i say."

"I thought you knew me better than to think I'd ever put up with being treated like this. I'm going to get some air. You better think about who you're talking to before I come back. If you're not ready to apologize, I'll be ready to move on. Me and Junior will be fine on our own."

"Yeah right, "he chided back.

"A woman can't take care of herself out here. You were kidnapped right out of the camp. Didn't see you get away on your own. "

"That's hilarious Frank. I didn't see you get up from your "nap" to help me. That graze took you out of the fight until it was over. You couldn't even get the strength mustered to try. You left me to be assaulted! You're attacking me for being abused."

Jolie turned and left. If she hadn't, Frank would've just slapped her again. She'd never seen him like this. There was truth in some of what he said. Daydreaming was the least of her concerns. Feelings formed in a crisis were usually doomed to fail, but she didn't care. It wasn't like that at all. She had been born proud and determined to take care of herself. Her parents used to laugh at how independent she was. Before words could form, Jolie did things her way. Frank had been the only man that didn't seem scared by her personality. It had had to be watered down over the years. The role of wife had been like retirement. Becoming a mom had doubled down on that.

Being abducted had rattled something loose. The feeling of being pinned down and helpless. Feeling that man removing her clothing. It had hit harder than anyone knew. To top it all off, finding out that Frank was barely injured. Junior ran for help while his dad, her husband, just lay there. She'd tried to be fair about it. There were guns all around. Even accounting for fear, she'd fought to get back to her husband. Why hadn't he fought for her?

The internal debate continued until she realized she was outside the medical wagon. Why had she come here? It was a distorted thought. She knew who she wanted to see. Three forms were under the wagon. One clearly snoring. She could still turn back. Maybe he didn't want to see her. Attacked again. she needed to see the man that had only protected her.

"Grant. Are you sleeping?"

She kept it to a whisper. There was no need to wake everyone.

"Jolie? What are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't sleep. Me and Frank had a fight. "

"Are you ok?"

There it was. Few words had been spoken and he already showed more concern than her husband.

"I'm pretty tough", the attempt at bravado was easily seen through.

"No I'm not ok. I thought my life was one way, but it had been a delusion. I lessened myself for so long to keep Frank happy. When I needed him the most, I was more worried that he'd be upset at me for being attacked. I know he's jealous. He didn't even try to save me. Then there's you Grant. You had nothing to gain from saving me. You showed up and made sure that the man who tried to force himself on me would never do it to another. You gave me a gun to watch your back. You treated me like the woman I'd forgotten I had always been."

"Jolie......I..."

"Just let me finish. I'm a mess already. Three days ago I didn't even know your name. Now, I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I'm going crazy. Like you are the air that I breathe and I can't stay away or I'll suffocate. I've struggled with this since the cave. I love my husband. You don't start a life and have a child without having that. I've never been in love with him. I didn't think such a thing was possible. Not until you gave me my dignity and pride without thought. I had to tell you. I feel it eating me up inside. I'm in love with you, Grant. I know. I shouldn't have come, but I needed to. "

"Jolie. I'm not sure what to say. I never meant to survive this long. After I lost my family, I was in a hurry to join them in the afterlife. Then there came you. I could tell when I saw you that you were a strong woman. You are absolutely stunning. Feeling your eyes on me has had me in a state as well. I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to interfere with someone's marriage. I had anxiety and doubts as well. Believing myself arrogant to think you'd want a used up gunslinger. I want what you want, but this isn't the time or place. This area is so dangerous. I can't afford to be distracted. "

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. I better go...."

"Wait! You don't see at all... I'm not turning you away. Let's get through this trip. Let's all get to the end of the road. When I'm not protecting so many, I want to retire and stay close to you. I can't get you off my mind. I couldn't if I tried. "

Tears streamed down her face as she embraced Grant in his hammock. When she pulled away she saw he was staring.

"I must look a sight right now. Don't look at me like this."

"You're beautiful."

Grant's lips met Jolie's before either of them could really think. The world faded as their connection anchored itself on each of their hearts. Eventually. their lips slowly parted.

"I feel like my body is on fire", Jolie admitted through heavy breaths. "I love you Grant. God help us all I do. I have to figure this out. I'm going to be patient until this trip is at its end. I want you to myself."

"When we're safe we'll figure it all out. Carry my heart with you. It's yours."

Their hands clasped together for a moment and then she left hurriedly. Grant needed to heal. Otherwise, she might have been less ladylike. The walk continued while she gathered her bearings, but she ended up at her own wagon, wondering what fresh hell she was about to come back to.