Path Of The Broken

19. Family Trait-2

Amelia walked through the garden with Elizabeth, a gaggle of ladies following in their wake a discreet distance behind. To all outward appearances, she knew she looked calm and in control. She was dressed immaculately, her black hair piled on top of her head with a small curl running down the side of her face, the necklace of the Consort Elect around her neck and the bracelet, as always, around her wrist. Both declared her rank as the Consort Elect of the Fourth to everybody—not that anybody here at the palace would ever forget who she was. Yet she moved as if in a dream world; she spoke, smiled and made conversation, but she felt removed, as if she wasn’t there. There was another version of herself looking out from her eyes, colder and harder than she had ever been. At times she felt she was just a passenger in her own body.

Even though Alex wasn’t here, hadn’t been here at the palace in months, she was still the Consort Elect of the Fourth. Life went on, as those around her seemed to ignore the fact that Alex was gone, along with Kyle, and Jess. It was as if everybody avoided the subject, thinking she was made of spun glass and would break at the mention of Alex’s name. The thought made her laugh. They weren’t far from the truth, although not for the reasons they might think. Yet William, Elizabeth, and even the king behaved as if they expected he would be back. It was only a matter of time. Amelia didn’t know whether to have hope or to scream at them. She knew Alex had Sundered. Still, she couldn’t help but have hope. She had to believe Alex would be back, because to think otherwise would drive her mad.

She was jolted out of introspection as Elizabeth spoke.

“How are you coping without Alex?” Elizabeth voice was low as she glanced across at Amelia.

“I… I don’t know.” Amelia thought of all the things she could say and discarded them all. If Elizabeth knew how much her world was falling apart, she knew she’d end up in the healers’ hands.

With their father being the main advisor and friend to the king, Kyle had spent most of his life from early childhood in the palace, companion to Alex. Unlike her brother, Amelia had spent most of her life in the family estates with her mother. She had visited the palace, of course, yet her life growing up had been very insulated. That was something she was only just learning. Her brother’s words warning her of the life she was entering came back to her. It made her laugh to think she did not understand what life as the Consort Elect of the Fourth would be like.

Since she had fallen into Alex’s world, she hadn’t been home. Her life had been one unending string of commitments to balls, dinners, parties. If you’d asked her before she’d entered this world, she would have told you it was what she wanted. It sounded like an amazing life; it was a goal she’d kept in her sight her whole life. Now she was living it, the centre of attention, always watched no matter where she went or what she did. The only moments she could ever be alone was in her bedroom, and even there she had to order the servants to stay out when she wanted time alone. Even here, on a simple walk in the garden, the ladies in attendance watched and listened avidly, the Elite trailing and always watching not only her and Elizabeth but everyone around, constantly looking for a threat. She realised what Elizabeth must have been going though her entire life.

“I’m sorry, Elizabeth.” Amelia’s eyes flicked to one side before tracking back to the woman who was becoming the grounding of her current existence.

Elizabeth smiled, hugging her closer. “For what?”

Amelia smiled bitterly. “For not understanding.”

She stopped herself from squirming as Elizabeth regarded her, then released the breath she’d been holding as she saw the smile spread on her lips.

“You need not apologise, Amelia. I don’t know any different. Neither does Alex.” Elizabeth bit her lip, glancing at her. “Or Kyle. He’s grown up in our world. Don’t regret that you didn’t.”

“I don’t know how you do it. You always seem busy, never having time to yourself.” Amelia smiled.

Amelia thought about telling Elizabeth what was happening, that her mind was disintegrating, piece by piece. Then she discarded the idea. She didn’t want to add a further burden for Elizabeth; she bore enough worry already. Hearing the cluster of ladies that trailed behind them gossip amongst themselves, Amelia thought about the rumours she’d heard regarding Alex. She grimaced. Some of the ladies had been only too pleased to pass on that particular piece of gossip onto her.

“I’ve heard about Alex.” Amelia glanced at Elizabeth, yet her face didn’t betray anything that she might be thinking.

“He’s shown up a time or two, talked with William. He’s not ready to come back yet.” Elizabeth’s face was neutral.

Amelia shook her head. “I’ve heard about the woman.”

This time she noticed that the inane chatter of the trailing ladies halted. Elizabeth turned to gaze at her, the hand on her arm stopping their progress through the garden. Amelia allowed Elizabeth to draw her into an embrace and, despite herself, drew comfort from it.

“I’m sorry, Amelia. Alex is my brother, I love him dearly. Yet he’s —”

Despite the situation, Amelia chuckled, surprised that she wasn’t as hurt as she thought she should be. This was one occasion her brain being insulated by a fog was helpful.

“I’ve always known what Alex is, Elizabeth, even though I didn’t spend as much time here in the palace as Kyle. The pair of them have a reputation. I'm not angry, although it would have been nice if the madly-in-love part had lasted longer. Alex and I had an agreement. Although I would have preferred it better if he’d been a bit more discreet in his liaison with another woman.”

Elizabeth drew back and looked at her for a long moment before looping her arm through Amelia’s and recommencing their stroll through the garden.

“Isabella. The reports suggest the woman’s name is Isabella.” Elizabeth paused as Amelia laughed.

“I don’t care what her name is. She’s a beauty, I’m told, and that Alex spends all his time with her. That he’s sleeping with her.” Amelia smiled, her own reaction perplexing her. She realised that she genuinely didn’t care that Alex had taken another woman to his bed.

This gave her pause. There it was again, evidence of this other woman she didn’t know that well peering out from her own eyes, making herself at home in her head. Amelia wondered if this cold version of herself meant she was growing up.

Elizabeth shook her head. “We’ve heard, but haven’t spoken to Alex about it.” She took a breath and looked at Amelia, clearly judging her mood. “Yes, and we’ve heard those reports as well.”

Amelia closed her eyes and breathed in the sweet aroma of the roses in full bloom—her favourite flower of all those in the garden beds—as her hair ruffled in the soft warm breeze. It was soothing.

“My lady mother warned me his infatuation with me might fade. That we’d have to find a way to make it work. There are worse fates than a political union with the Fourth.” Amelia smiled sadly and took a settling breath. Despite her words, she still wished for a moment that she could go back to that time where she and Alex had been happy.

“Political unions between high-ranking families go with the rank, unless we are exceedingly lucky.”

“Does he intend to break our proposed union?” Despite everything, she cared for Alex, that she was certain of, and it was a good thing in a union like theirs.

“I don’t believe so, Amelia.” Elizabeth’s voice was low and calm as if they were discussing the evening’s dinner. Of course Elizabeth faced a similar union of her own, a political one, as did William. It was the life they had all been born to.

Amelia smiled faintly. “If he could manage to be a little more discreet in his liaisons in the future, it would be better.” She glanced across at Elizabeth.

Amelia waited until Elizabeth nodded understanding before turning her gaze back to the well-manicured gardens. She breathed in the scent of the flowers, trying to settle the agitation caused by the conversation. She had no doubt that the message would be passed on to Alex when he next paid a visit to William.