THE STEPDAD AFFAIR

chapter eighteen

KOHEN

Once I finished cleaning the kitchen, I headed up to Tara's room, but the door was closed. I don't know what happened for her to run off like that. I want to talk to her, but damn. I can't help but wonder if I f****d up.

So here I am just standing outside her room staring at the wooden white painted door.

Just give her space, Kohen.

I shove my hand into my pocket and brush the fabric of Tara's bracelet that I stole. I take it everywhere I go.

My obsession with her is growing. I crave more.

I went back to my office and decided to drown myself in paperwork for my company. It's mostly work that's not really important and mostly boring, so I've been putting it off, so I guess for now, I'll use this to occupy my mind.

Later that night, as I stand in the kitchen preparing dinner, my mind is still swarming with thoughts.

I still haven't spoken to Tara. I only saw her when her friend was leaving, but she went back up to her room before I could say anything. She didn't seem mad at me. She seemed more embarrassed.

I'm startled as I feel Kristina's arms wrap around me from behind, her body pressing against mine. She nuzzles my neck, her voice filled with desire. "How about we forget about everything else tonight. Just you and me."

"Not tonight, Kris." I say to her, trying to come off as gently as possible so I don't seem.... rude.

Confusion fills her eyes as she gazes at me, searching for answers. "What's wrong, Kohen? Is something bothering you?"

I turn to he and plant a kiss on her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Kris. I just don't feel like it." I explain.

Her expression changes from confusion to hurt, her voice tinged with disappointment. "Kohen, we're married. We're supposed to be there for each other, no matter what. What's come between us?"

"It's not about you, Kris. It's about me."

"I think we should go to therapy." She says.

"Because I'm not in the mood? Isn't that a little over the top?" I ask.

"Because... I've been.... feeling something." She says.

"What are you feeling?" I ask.

"Can I admit something to you?" She asks while taking a seat at the counter while I continue cooking.

"Alright." I say while glancing at her and lower the heat on the food.

She sighs. "When I left.... when I left my first husband I was seeing this younger guy..." she confesses.

"Okay?"

"It made me feel young and desired again.. I was never meant to be a mother. And I met you years later." She continues. "You made me feel good and loved. I wasn't going to keep Tara, but Dan convinced me that he wanted her and we could raise her as husband and wife, so we got married, and I had her. I didn't like my life with Dan but with you.."

"Kris, where's this going?" I ask.

"I just... I think we should. I don't know. Maybe we should see a therapist."

"We? Kris, did you cheat on me or something?"

She seemed to tense up once I asked that. "No.. but..."

"But?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

She sighs and wraps her arms around herself. "I just want our marriage to work. I always run from my problems. I don't want to do that."

"Are you suggesting you'd run away in the middle of the night?" I ask and turn my attention back to the food.

"You know that's not what I meant." She says to me, then runs her fingers through her hair out of frustration.

"You're worrying about our marriage and not your relationship with your daughter." I say to her.

Yeah, I know it's out of line, but it needs to be said.

"I'm trying Kohen, but she doesn't like me."

"Because you don't listen." I mumble.

"Excuse me?" She says and then folds her arms like she's offended.

"Okay, now I'm going to say something, and you can't get mad." I said and faced her.

"Okay?"

"You don't listen to her. You expect her to just forgive instantly. She tells you she doesn't celebrate her birthday and you want to plan her a surprise party or whatever." I explain.

"I want to make her happy." She argues. "And since when do you involve yourself in this? Tara is my daughter."

That pissed me off, but I didn't say anything.

"You're right. She's your daughter." I agree.

Kristina sighs and approaches me, but I just continue cooking.

"What are we even fighting about?" She sighs.

"You decided to take a trip down memory lane for some reason." I answer.

I'm not angry. I'm not even sad. I just don't care right now.

She took the spoon out of my hand, and before I knew it, she kissed me. I pull away slowly, and she reaches her hand up to me, pulling me into another kiss.

"Sorry for disturbing you." A voice says from the doorway, and it's Tara with a frown.

I clear my throat and go back to cooking dinner.

How much of that did she see?

"Hi honey." Kristina says and embraces her.

Tara looks at me puzzled with a look that says 'what the f**k' and I give her shrug that says 'I don't even know.'

"Um yeah that's nice." Tara says sarcastically and pulls herself away from Kristina.

Tara glances at me, and from the look she gives me, I can tell she saw the kiss. She walks past me to the fridge and grabs beer.

"You drink?" Kristina asks her.

"Yes, Kristina, I drink." Tara answers coldly as she opens the bottle with her teeth.

I can tell Kristina is pissed and so is Tara.

"I don't think I agree with you drinking Tara." She says with her arms folded.

Tara raises her eyebrow and glances at me, but I've learned that getting in between these two is more dangerous than trying to separate a lion from its meal.

"Well, I'm not a kid, so.." Tara says and drinks from the beer.

"No, but you're not an adult either." Kristina says and takes the beer from Tara.

"You're joking, right?"

"So, who's hungry?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"No, I'm not joking. I heard you went to a club and got drunk." Kristina says.

Tara shoots me a death stare, and I raise my hands up like I'm surrendering. "It wasn't me."

She turns back to her mother and takes the beer bottle back. "If I was old enough to work two jobs, go to school and take care of my sick father, then I'm old enough to have a God damn beer." Tara warns.

"I'm looking out for you." Kristina says.

"I don't need you to look out for me.

I needed you when I was a kid who didn't understand how her mother could leave her and when I got my first period in front of the whole school."

Tara argues.

"I left your father, Tara. I wasn't happy. He was... he had a temper."

Tara chuckles, but it's honestly terrifying... but hot... It's really hot..

"Then why didn't you take me, huh? If he was so bad, then why leave me with him?!" She yells.

"I was broke. I couldn't provide for you. Tara he was a cruel man."

Tara begins to tear up, and she gets in Kristina's face. "Don't you dare do that. Don't you dare talk about him like that! That man gave up everything to raise me! He was a good dad, and unlike you, he stayed!"

Kristina is also in tears, also. "Tara, I know I can't undo the past -"

"I don't care! Talk s**t about me, but don't you ever try to make my father the villain in this story!" Tara yells and leaves the beer on the counter before running upstairs.

Kristina wipes her tears and turns to me.

"Not going to say anything?" She asks me.

"Not my daughter, remember?" I say to her before turning off the stove so I can make sure Tara is okay.