FORBIDDEN LOVE PART ONE

WHEN THE ONLY OPTIONS YOU HAVE ARE RUTHLESS

I love my mother, I love my father and I would not like to disappoint them in any way. I love my new job and I wouldn't like to give it up for anything. Jobs at that time were so rare to get. Throwing one away would mean I wasn't serious. Infidelity was the last thing I ever thought of doing. So, I am walking home and my boss' words keep ringing in my mind. "Ever since I set my eyes on you, I fell in love with you."

I was so sure about my parents' love for me. I was so sure about my love for my new job. So, is infidelity even in the category of being considered love or is it pure toxic lust? When he said "I fell in love with you", what did he mean? Of course, he just wanted to satisfy his s****l desires.

The words sounded so sweet to my ears but very gross at the same time. About his supposed love for me, I wasn't sure about it. Normally, in this situation, one can have three choices to make if given a chance.

The first was choosing to quit my job and not disgrace my parents. But this will mean going back to square one, where I will have to depend on my parents for everything. I could simply choose not to report to work the following day. Now! What will be the reason when it comes to explaining why I won't be going to work for my parents? Telling them the truth about the whole situation would break hell loose.

Which parent in his or her right sense would assume such a ruthless act from the boss of their child? The next action my parents would take would be to storm the company and make sure to create a scene. I am not the type to attract such dramas, I would rather suffer in silence. Them storming the company for answers was not even my main concern. The fact that I was new and the whole issue could backfire. Mr Nanoth could say I accused him falsely and that I had no evidence of what had transpired. Even worse, was I even ready to give away my job to someone else? Was I ready to go back to the ranks of the unemployed? Not so sure but we shall find out.

The second choice was to play along and act numb to all my principles and beliefs. After all, many of my friends earn from being mistresses. Their lives seemed good. That way, I would keep the job that I love so much and still get benefits from being a mistress to Mr Nanoth. I could choose to fancy the moment and be all in without fathoming the repercussions that could catch up with me in the future. But this would mean I would bring out the exact opposite of me. Someone I don't understand and am afraid of. So, was I ready to give up all my morals and Christian values in order to keep my job as well as get extra benefits? That is if Mr. Nanoth was the gifting type. I can't tell but let us find out.

"Miss Nadia, I am sorry I acted inappropriately towards you. I wouldn't like you to see me as a harasser. Please forgive me and do not report me anywhere. I am ready to make amends for what I had insinuated. My feelings got the better part of me and I could not control myself. Whatever happened and all I said was just a joke. Do not take it seriously, please." Stretching his arm towards me in a bid to ask for a peaceful settlement with the uttermost remorse expressed on his face. "Nadia, let us start fresh and act like the professionals that we are. I will never repeat the same joke to you". I sighed with relief that God had finally answered my prayer.

Walking up from my humble bed, I was so confused that I could not tell which of everything that transpired from the previous day throughout the night was a dream and which was not. It was only after I splashed some water on my face that I came back to reality. So, I was dreaming, Mr. Nanoth did not apologize.

The last option which is considered appropriate was if Mr Nanoth found himself apologizing for the fact that he acted unprofessional. This is where the expression "I wished" suits. No wonder that was the only dream I could remember that day, yet I am quite a dreamer.

The first two options were in my jurisdiction to tackle, but the last one, I had no control over it. So, I was left in a huge dilemma. I reported to work the following day.

Mr Nanoth: "Hello beautiful! You look spectacular today. How was your night?"

Me: "Hi, Great!"

Mr Nanoth: "You look dull. What is it?"

Me: "Like what, sir?"

The conversation was interrupted by some employees who came in to see him. As he continued working and attending to those employees who came in, I decided to get out for some fresh air. I wasn't feeling quite well. I was so stressed. I had a mixture of fear and anxiety. Who was going to rescue me? Who even understood my pain? The entire situation was practically new to me. Does luck come with such pain? My heart was bleeding because of the annoying relationship I was already in.

My boyfriend then was so controlling and egocentric. He wasn't someone I could easily run to when it comes to an emotional problem, leaving alone a practical problem. To him, I was just a lady that was meant to fulfil his and only his s****l desires, wherever he was indeed. Now you get why I hated men to the core. It seemed I was in a relationship. That is one way. I was not single but I was lonely. And coming to think of it, I was not his only woman then. I did not know whether I was the main chic or a side chic. At least, my boss accepting him would make a clear distinction. I would become the side chic because there was already a main one.

As I stood on the long pavement outside the office, I suddenly felt someone tap on my back. "Hey," The touch was so gentle and soothing. His voice was so firm and reassuring. I treated him back and he seemed so concerned.

Him: "You seem to be in deep thought my daughter, are you okay? And what is wrong? Why are you not in your office?

Me: "Nothing is wrong, I am fine, I just got out for some fresh air."

Him: "Are you sick?"

Me: "No, I am fine sir."

Him: "Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes Sir"

My boss was done with the work he was handling. I saw the employees he was with leaving the office. While leaving, they exchanged pleasantries with the man I was with. In a split-second impulse, my boss came out. He seemed to overhear the commotion in the corridors, so I guess he came to check out what it was about.

Mr Nanoth: "Hello Mr. Clause". That is when I knew the name of the man I was standing with.

Mr Clause: "Yes Mr Nanoth". Shaking hands.

Mr Nanoth: "I see you have already met my new secretary"

Mr Clause: "Oh yes! So, she is your secretary."

Mr Clause extended his hand to greet me, wanting to know my name. I introduced myself to him and left them talking to each other. I had whispers behind my back. They seemed to be enjoying the conversation because of the laughs that were emanating from that corridor. Whichever the case, I did not put much thought into it. All I could think about was the response I was going to give to my boss regarding his request.

I can vividly remember him telling me to think about the reason that made me not be interviewed and that I was supposed to think carefully about what my response to his request would be. I knew that that day would not end without him giving me an ultimatum.

I can not describe the pain that was eating me up. The level of confusion I was in was unexplainable. The sorrow and turmoil I was experiencing were only best known to me. I was supposed to be comfortable and happy that I was working. I was supposed to be feeling alive and looking sharp in my line of duty. But, everything had turned upside down and nothing seemed okay at all. I was under so much pressure that I began experiencing unexplained anxiety. My eyes turned red and I began having a terrible headache. All I could imagine is being called a slut, a husband snatcher, and a useless woman without self-respect. I could see myself walking on the streets and all of a sudden Mr Nanoth's wife slams me with a hired car.

Will Mr Nanoth force me into accepting his demand? Which option will he give me? Which option will I take?