Cat Eye

chapter 3 suffocation

Cold had already embraced the valley.Cool air touched the cheeks, chins, noses. By six pm blue sky turned to dark black. Within thirty minutes noisy alley, street, road changed to pin drop silent host.Every rooms of towns brightened their light to white or golden. But it was me who was in regular duty to go to Malini's home for the letter and give way to Shumsher. How fast had I turned to a post man to a couple I had no idea.

Her envelope was so beautifully decorated she sketched the river aside sun to the right corner and shower light to the river. I actually never paid attention to the meaning to this figurative structure. Instead left on their own. And guessed if her envelope was that beautiful than how depth could be the letter self. Not only Malini but Shumsher too was keen to give way the letter. I could see the charm on his face. After Malini's absence in the walk back to home. We were only two on the way. He once described his dream girl in no questions I was indeed surprised for his description.

"You know Samridhi I like white complexion girl with long hair". His adding point on his dream girl was she must be talented, beautiful, independent, educated, and having height to his shoulder. He was 5.8 then. Except of Malini's height everything he dream was matched to her. I felt by heart he was defining Malini.

Here Malini's days were not easy too. She was in high peak of restlessness every time of our meeting whether in college or on the way to college or after the college or in tea break at college or in Saturday holiday or in phone calls her talk topic was Shumsher.

Shumsher is like this like that, his writing, his height, his innocentness, his good looking and many other. She was always so excited on his description. I firstly avoid since I had no interest. Slowly I payed attention to keep her calm knowing her restless. And gradually entered into her each lines and words she explained about Shumsher. She did japa (chant) elsewhere of Shumsher as if Sati did of Shiva. The mater of fact how she passed her chant in my consent I couldn't understand. After weeks of her intense talk in Shumsher now he was on my head. Previously no glance was showed on him.Due to those immense landscapes about Shumsher I was there unknownly staring him. Not only that I started to feel as the same as Malini described every day and night. His presence turmoiled me. His absence restlessed. His existence delighted me on the same hand saddened me. His both presence and absence had high reaction on me. If he was not there restlessly my eyes searched where is he? And heart wished his fast present. And next to it his presence instantly saddened. I was not able to talk keeping eyes straight forward to him. I was not in fact able to stand erect in front him. My legs lingered. My voice layered. I was sad, happy, tired, freshed, talkative, silent all in one on his front. I felt discomfort on walk together on those alley which previously I walked carefree. I was worried of self and worried if will he notice this change on me.

Cold had already inclined the town. Dark was darker soon. Days were shorter soon. As time was rushing faster. My heart beat either chased the pace. Due to this unknown change I was not able to handle self. On Malini's behalf i was there every seconds to comprehend and nod her feelings whether I understood or not on my context I was lone with restless heart around.

Malini those days were busy in her dance competition she was confined with interdistrict dance competition from college. Her rescue from insane Shumsher's thought was that dance competition. Not merely that she was that sort of girl who lives in presents and most importantly her talk those was prior on Deepak same as Shumsher's talk she was there to explain him. It was Shumsher too whom she stopped to describe and to she ceased to write the letter possibly my job of post man was eradicated too. And I wished he would talk of her so that I get the chance to talk something with him. On the same hand I wished not to talk too because I wanted him to start new journey but with whom? His long conversation with any girls pierced my heart then.

"Listen I Desperately like you. What you have to say on it?", I confirmed.

"Sorry I am not interested on you, you know Shakira I actually love her", Shumsher assured.

I sobbed on losing him. Early in the morning in wash room I came to know it was the dream. I thanked to it.

I stepped out so many times to confront about my feelings but I succumbed to it.

Paving the way back to home by the alleies and darkness hit me straight to the point, "Listen I have a gut feelings on you will you be my boyfriend?", with strong heart i approached. He stuck for a while couldn't answer for a while he was freezed. He was stopped but I was not. I couldn't add single words on it. But the most slow and soft voice came to listen "I have not yet faced any girl saying directly this to me give me some time", he answered. Taking long breathe i assured self for waiting his answers.

Three days gone boy was absent to the class the number he had given was out of service. At the same time I was free on those suffocation.