MARIAM THE GOOD GIRL.

EPISODE 11

The man looked at me—our eyes met. He had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. I opened my mouth, but he barely looked at me—he just passed by. I stood there frozen like a power pole. Suddenly I heard: “Hey sister—what’s wrong? Why are you stuck there? Move—let’s go in, man.” I startled—it was a girl behind me. I said: “Sorry—I was hit by that guy, so I was staring at the one who hit me—he showed contempt, didn’t even care to apologize—he just passed.” The girl said: “Sister—are you okay? Who hit you and who passed? Why are we standing here—no one passed?” I was surprised—hmm, what’s with this girl? I thought, then said: “Didn’t you see the Arab guy who passed here? Tell me—I forgot—Arabs are famous for contempt. They disrespect black skin so much.” The girl said: “Big things—why daydreaming in the afternoon, sister? Let’s go—our turn.” I laughed because the girl was straightforward—she didn’t understand.

I entered—went to sit in my Super Seat coach (because baby found the sleeping coaches with beds were full—so I was booked Super Seat—you sit but can recline or do whatever). I was by the window—so I moved closer, sat, but the face of that Arab didn’t leave my mind. I remembered perfectly—I had dreamed of him making love to me—until I ejaculated. Today—how come I saw him here at the station? Is he in this train? Or why don’t I remember where he was heading after we passed? A man I dream of—suddenly here? I thought a lot—no meaning—but I remembered his love so much—even getting excited—it felt like I dreamed it for real.

The handsome man was playing with me—mmmhhh. I found myself closing my eyes—the journey started. Suddenly I was touched on the shoulder—I startled—checked—it was that Arab man sitting next to me. I found myself not saying anything—I turned and started sucking his lips shamelessly. The man responded to the attack—we sucked each other intensely—while I took his hands and passed them over my body. Suddenly I found myself like in a garden—with the Arab—we held each other—kissing like no tomorrow. I found myself saying: “I’ve missed you so much—I love you—give me your love—you’re my beast.” The man didn’t reply—he took his hand to my flower—started playing with me. Uwi—I closed my eyes. Suddenly I heard: “Sister—sister—” I startled from sleep—it was another man—I think a train worker. He said: “I was saying there’s food and drinks service in the next coach.” I said: “Thanks.” He said: “Are you okay?” I said: “Why—how do I look?” And your announcements—why must you wake someone to announce—disturbance only—mxiiiew. The words came out in anger—I didn’t like it—I was feeling so much pleasure from the other one. The man said: “Sorry.” I just sucked my teeth—looked out the window—but suddenly something told me—look beside you. I turned my neck—looked—he was that Arab man—sitting in the next seat—dozing. I startled—I couldn’t believe.

I started staring at him carefully—his face, his lips while sleeping—long black eyelashes, black eyebrows—mmmhh—handsome man I’ve never seen. I stared—found myself smiling. Suddenly I asked myself—why do I dream of him? I dreamed the first day—I didn’t know him—now I saw him—dream him even on the train? I looked at his hands—he had them on his lap—it was that same shape that touched me—mmmh—I got excited—I found myself reaching to touch his hand—just before touching—he opened his eyes—looked at me. I startled—he was just staring. I said: “Sorry—I want to go to the toilet.” He didn’t reply—just moved aside. I left—shaking—what’s happening to me? Who is this man? I stood in the toilet—even no urine. I stood thinking a lot—desire for love so strong. I washed—returned—found the man calm. I sat in my seat—reclined a bit—but that time I felt dangerous heat—down there so wet. The man looked at me—then put his hand on my thigh. I got excited—I was wearing a very short dress—he moved his hand up to my flower—started playing—while staring at me. I turned to him—with pleading eyes.

I said: “Why are you doing this to me?” He replied: “Don’t you like it—should I stop?” I held his hand: “Don’t stop—please.” He said: “Okay then—relax.” I said: “But people will see.” He said: “No one sees.” Truly—looking around—everyone was asleep—no one awake. So I let myself—played with my body—given hot kisses—I found myself saying: “Please enter me—I’m suffering.” The man didn’t waste time—he lifted me—sat me on his lap—opened his zip—took out his thing—mmmh—I was given dose until I felt confused. The young man knew love—he hugged me like he wanted me to enter him—while holding my waist—bringing fire—while his lips sucked my breasts. I said: “I love you so much—you’re the only man who quenches my thirst—aaaasss—sweet—baby—aaaahhhh—give me every day—I want.” He said: “Really?” I said yes. He laughed. He continued giving me pleasure—even I don’t remember for how long—but like we were alone in the coach—I was turned on seats—sometimes reclined—sometimes bent—sometimes he lay behind me—love I got wasn’t of this world. I don’t remember how—I startled—woken by train attendant. I startled—I was asleep—though covered with a leso—even I don’t remember when I took it from the bag. The attendant said: “You slept a lot, sister—do you need anything?” Before I answered—I looked at the next seat—he was another man—not that Arab. Hmm—I said: “The Arab man who was sitting here—where is he?” The attendant looked at me: “Which Arab man, sister—why were you sitting with him all this time?” Hmm—no—I said: “I don’t know—he came at some time—I sat with Arab here.” The attendant said: “Hmm—I didn’t see him.” Hmm—I felt confused—why did I make love with him here? I stood—went to toilet again—found I had fluids—like all of them—I had been used so much. I told myself—what’s happening to me? Why like I don’t understand? What is this now? Who did this to me? Was it that man I was with? Now—why was I dreaming of Arab? Why do I dream of Arab so much? Hmm—I thought a lot—no answer—I washed—came out—returned to my seat—full of thoughts.

While thinking—suddenly heard: “You were asking about that handsome Arab, sister?” I startled—it was a girl sitting behind me. I said: “Yes—did you see him?” She said: “Yes—weren’t you sitting next to him? He got off—I think that man—because I saw him—but when we stopped—something—maybe he got off—I didn’t see him again.” Uhuuu—I sighed relief—because I felt completely confused—now I don’t understand the Arab. I said: “It must be—he got off.” I replied—while not understanding—how did he do it to me—then got off? Why didn’t he wake me?? And who is that man? So the journey continued—but I had no thought of Roman husband—I was thinking only of Arab and his pleasure—and how I don’t understand his things. But I asked myself—how come I dream of him like this—and truly he appears? I started dreaming at home—I saw him—why did he disappear? Will I see him again? Or is he my destiny? Soul mate perhaps? But so handsome—hmm. I thought of him so much—desired to see him—but I didn’t have his number—nor did I know his name.

I got off in Kigoma—was received by the person baby arranged—then taken to hotel. I bathed—rested—suddenly my phone rang—it was husband—I didn’t like—sucked my teeth—picked—but didn’t speak—stayed quiet. Husband said: “Hello baby.” I said: “I hear you.” He said: “Are you okay?” I said: “Yes—I’m okay.” He said: “Why are you so quiet in your room, Maimuna—where are you—and where did you sleep, Maimuna?” Uwi—he came—what is he doing here? How does he know I didn’t sleep in my room? I braced myself first—to test what he knows. I said: “Hello—what are you saying—I didn’t hear well.” He said: “Maimuna—why do I hear things I don’t understand? Your host came last night to see you—didn’t find you in your room—Mai—where are you?” I said: “Roman—you know I’m a stranger here—now you think where will I go? That host you found for me is a man—he comes to greet me at night—you want me to open so he can come tell you I was bringing men in the room—right? I heard him knocking—I didn’t want to open—and I was tired from the journey—I slept—why is there a problem?” Roman said: “Sorry baby—I know the journey tired you—but he came to pick you—take you around—you didn’t open again.” I said: “I’ll go around when you come—but now I want to rest—so tell him to continue with his work.” Roman said: “Okay—I’m sending you money then, baby—for expenses.” I said okay—thanks. I hung up. I felt like Roman is just disturbing me with his calls—my heart had already left—I didn’t love him anymore—there I had loved Denim first—this Roman is someone’s husband—where will he take me? Suddenly I asked myself—but what do I know about this Denim—hmm? What if he leaves me in the streets? I asked myself—but why does he know me so much? He can’t follow someone he doesn’t love—he must love me—let me be with him—whatever happens.

I woke—bathed—ordered food—it came—I ate—lay down again—that time Roman sent money—and was chatting me—I saw he’s just disturbing—replying shortly. Denim returned evening—I was very happy to see him—hugged him—gave him hot kisses—we ended on bed—Denim loved love more than even talking. We gave each other pleasure—went to bathe—returned to bed. I saw now to ask Denim his plan with me again. I said: “Baby—you know I love you so much—my friend—I’ve gotten used to you.” He laughed: “I know.” I said: “But I don’t know about you—do you truly love me?” Denim looked at me with those beautiful eyes: “Maimuna—I came from far—left many things—to follow you here.” Hmm—I startled: “You followed me—how—when you came for work?” Denim kissed me: “What I want is you to be with me only—and not with anyone else. Don’t sleep with any other man—please.” I said okay, baby. That day we ate—slept with Denim. The next day Denim greeted me as usual—he’s going to work—and said he’ll find me—I said okay. While lying in baby’s room—midday—my phone rang a lot—I checked—it was Roman. I sucked my teeth—picked—but stayed quiet. Roman said: “How are you, my wife?” I said: “Safe a bit—I feel fever.” He said: “You’ll be alone, baby—but don’t worry—I’ve arrived in Kigoma—I’m in the car—coming to the hotel.” Hearing that—I startled—uwi—he’s arrived? I said: “Really, baby?” He said: “Yes—I’m like five minutes away—my love—I’ve missed you so much.” I had no pose—I stood—started dressing quickly—while talking on phone—I left Denim’s room fast—entered my room—I hung up. I had to pull-pull sheets—arrange oil and clothes in my bag—at least look like I was staying in that room. I went to bathroom—opened water—wet toothbrush and soap—at least look like I was using bathroom things. I returned—lay on bed. Message entered my phone—written: “Maimuna—don’t betray me—I love you so much—and I want to take you—we live together—please.” It was from Denim. My heart broke—now what do I do? This husband—despite everything—took me far—now how do I leave for a brother I don’t know at all? But I love Denim so much—let me juggle here—then find a reason to make Roman angry—push him away—go back to Denim. Husband Roman arrived—I didn’t even welcome him. He came to bed—hugged me—kissed: “Sorry baby—for the loneliness.” I said: “Thanks—sorry for you and the journey.” He said: “Thanks, baby.” I said: “Why did you come quietly—why? Or didn’t you want to tell me—you felt I’d bewitch you—right? Isn’t your wife said I’m a bush monkey—witch?” Roman said: “No baby—why do you think that—hmm? I wanted to surprise you, my love—I know you’ve missed me so much.” I looked at him—said: “No—you were forced to tell me, man.” He said: “Forgive me, my love—for showing I lack—I brought you this gift here.” He opened a box—took out a very nice phone—even better than his wife’s. I startled—said: “Mine this?” He said: “Yes, baby—and this is the beginning—because first when you return from that woman’s wedding—I’ve found you a house, my wife—you’ll live there—your own house. The house is nice—I know you’ll love it, my love.” I was happy—said: “You’re serious, Roman—or joking—hmm?” He said: “I’m speaking truly, my love—you have your own now, baby—and I want you to say what business you want me to open for you—because we’re going to start real life now—me and you.” I said okay—I’ll tell you. I received the phone—while smiling. He charged it—took my lines from the old phone—put in this high-brand expensive one. He taught me how to use it—then said: “Okay baby—your work.” I hugged him—kissed—Roman was happy—suddenly started touching me. I said: “Baby—what do you want to do?” He said: “I’ve missed you, my baby—I know you must have finished your days—right?” I said: “No—still not finished.” He said: “For today—forgive me, baby—I want just like that.” Khaa—what’s this one? He said: “Maimuna—I have a very bad condition—and you know—you’re the only wife I have—elsewhere—I don’t do. Today I can’t control—please give me just that, baby.” Mmmhh—I remembered Denim and his prohibitions—and this one is serious—wants it—now what do I do? I said: “But baby—back home it’s taboo to make love during these days.” Roman said: “Baby—we’ll ask forgiveness after—I can’t control.” Khaa—what’s this one? Why like this? Here—if I hesitate—I’ll be eaten. I stood—said: “I’m completely confused—I don’t understand you, man. You say what? You want to sleep with me while I’m on my days? Habits from where—and you say you love me?” I spoke angrily—Roman didn’t listen—he stood—hugged me: “Don’t joke me, Maimuna. Don’t want me to explain a lot—or believe what I was told—what I want from you is love only—not anything else.” Mmmh—what was he told? I was confused. Roman removed my clothes—I stayed in inner clothes—he touched my flower—he didn’t see the pad at all. He said: “Maimuna—you’re lying to me—right? If you’re on your days—why no pad?” I looked at him. He tore that panty—then laid me on bed—climbed on me. I struggled to refuse—but Roman overpowered me—he did his thing. I didn’t like it—I felt hurt in my heart—because I saw I completely betrayed my Denim. When Roman finished—he said: “Thanks—I found you as I left you—because I was told by the hotel attendant—you were sleeping with a man in his room.” I was angry there—said: “Leave me—you big r****t. You r***d me, Roman? For this—I can’t forgive you—you’re a killer.” I spoke—while standing completely—full of anger—and I had found a reason to leave him like that. Roman said: “Maimuna—you don’t know how much I love you—and I hurt—and what I was told—I did this because I wanted to confirm—but what did I find—even nothing—not on your days—or anything—why did you lie to me?” I said: “You want to know why I lied to you—right?”

“Because I don’t love you—and I don’t want you—that’s why I didn’t want to sleep with you. You have a wife—go to your wife and children there—leave me—I can’t live with an evil man—r****t like you.” Roman said: “The wife I have is you only—not that other one—because I’ve divorced her—and if you want to know—take.” He opened his bag—took an envelope—gave me. I said: “I don’t want to know—leave me.” Roman took papers—said: “This is my divorce from that woman. I’m not with her—and I’m single—and you’re my wife, Maimuna.” I startled—took those papers—truly divorce. I couldn’t believe—meaning Roman loves me this much? But I love Denim. Roman hugged me—I pushed him—wore clothes—ran out of the room. I didn’t understand—even where I was running to now. I left completely—even outside the hotel—Roman following—calling me. I saw a public car—entered. While in the car—I felt things coming down there. Hmm—I startled—looked—blood. Hmm—why like this—not my days—these coming from where? I asked myself—here—no inner clothes—or anything. I feared so much—because they were coming a lot—even starting to flow on my legs. That car had few people—it went around—conductor said: “Sister—here is the end of the car.” I said: “Aha—okay.” I feared standing—because I knew I had dirtied people’s car—but I tried to stand—when standing—I felt lots of blood—like a tap. I feared—screamed: “Mom weee—I’m dying—help—please—something to put here—blood coming so much—brother—I’ll die—mm uwi.” I spoke—while crying. The conductor looked at me shocked. Me—blood pouring so much—I started feeling dizziness—suddenly I saw Denim standing on the other side of the road...