What We Can’t Admit
1079 Words
Jace woke up to cold sheets.
The space beside him was empty, and for a moment, he just stared at it, last night replaying in his head, the heat, the soft gasps, the way River had whispered his name like it meant something.
But now, the bed was cold.
Jace sat up, rubbing his eyes before forcing himself to get dressed. He grabbed a loose shirt and shorts, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling creeping into his chest.
When he went downstairs, Sasha and Leo were sprawled on the couch, arguing over what to watch on the massive flat-screen TV.
“I said action!” Leo said, holding the remote out of Sasha’s reach.
“And I said romance. We’re in Hawaii, for God’s sake,” Sasha shot back, trying to snatch it from him.
“Morning,” Jace greeted, his voice still groggy.
Both of them turned to look at him.
“Morning,” Sasha replied before glancing behind him. “Where’s River? Don’t tell me he’s still sleeping?”
Jace frowned. “He’s not upstairs. Where is he?”
Leo answered casually, still clicking through channels. “He left early. Said he was going to the gym.”
“The gym?” Jace repeated, his brows furrowing.
“Yeah,” Sasha said, giving him a curious look. “Why?”
Jace forced a small shrug, though his chest tightened. “Nothing. Just… didn’t expect him to leave so early.”
Leo finally settled on a movie, and Sasha patted the space beside her. “Come sit. You look like you need a distraction.”
Jace sat between them, trying to focus on the movie, but his mind kept drifting back to River.
What was he thinking about right now?
Was he… regretting last night?
Jace’s jaw tightened slightly, but he pushed the thought away and tried to laugh at one of Leo’s ridiculous comments instead.
********************
Two Hours Later
The sound of the front door opening made Jace’s head snap toward it.
River walked in, his shirt slightly damp with sweat, his tattoos peeking out from beneath the fabric. He didn’t even glance at them as he headed for the stairs.
“Hey,” Leo called, cheerful as ever.
River didn’t respond.
“River,” Sasha tried, raising a brow. “You okay?”
River paused briefly, glancing at her with his usual unreadable expression. “I’m fine.”
Then he kept walking, heading straight to his room.
Sasha looked at Jace, her brow furrowed. “Something’s wrong.”
Jace didn’t answer. His heart was pounding too fast, his chest too tight. Without another word, he stood and followed River upstairs.
The door was slightly ajar, and Jace pushed it open. River stood near the window, pulling his shirt over his head, his back muscles tensing as he turned slightly.
“River,” Jace said, stepping inside.
River didn’t look at him. “What is it, Jace?”
Jace’s hands clenched at his sides. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like nothing happened.”
River finally turned, his dark eyes meeting his. “Because nothing should have happened.”
Jace froze. “What?”
River’s jaw tightened. “Yesterday was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.”
The words felt like a punch to the chest. Jace’s breath hitched, anger and hurt twisting in his stomach.
“A mistake?” Jace repeated, his voice low, shaking slightly. “You kissed me back. You… you didn’t look like you thought it was a mistake last night.”
River’s expression didn’t soften. “I was drunk. We both were.”
Jace’s voice rose. “Don’t you dare use that as an excuse.”
River’s eyes narrowed slightly. “It’s the truth.”
“No, it’s not,” Jace snapped, stepping closer, his chest heaving. “You could’ve stopped, but you didn’t. You wanted it as much as I did!”
River exhaled sharply, running a hand through his damp hair as if trying to calm himself. “Wanting something doesn’t make it right.”
Jace stared at him, stunned for a moment. “So you do want me.”
River’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t respond.
“Say it,” Jace demanded, stepping closer until there was barely space between them. “Say you didn’t feel anything. Look me in the eye and lie to me.”
River’s gaze hardened, his voice flat. “It doesn’t matter. It won’t happen again.”
“God, you’re impossible,” Jace said, his voice cracking. His hands trembled at his sides. “You push me away every damn time things get real. Why? Because you’re scared?”
“I’m not scared,” River said coldly.
“Yes, you are!” Jace fired back, his voice breaking. “You’re terrified, of me, of this, of actually letting someone in. You keep acting like you’re made of stone, but I’ve seen you, River. Last night wasn’t just… nothing. You don’t touch someone like that if it’s nothing.”
River’s silence felt louder than any denial.
Jace’s voice lowered, almost pleading now. “Why are you doing this? Tell me you don’t feel anything, and I’ll walk away. But if you do… if even a part of you wants this, just say it.”
River’s lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes unreadable. “I can’t.”
That single word shattered whatever hope Jace had been holding onto.
Something in Jace broke.
His hand moved before he could stop himself, the sharp sound of a slap echoing through the room.
River’s head tilted slightly from the force, his jaw tightening even more, but he didn’t retaliate.
Jace’s eyes glistened, his voice trembling as he spoke. “You’re a coward, River. You can keep pretending all you want, but I’m not stupid. You feel something for me. You just don’t want to admit it.”
River stayed silent, his expression unreadable.
Jace’s chest rose and fell rapidly as he turned on his heel, his voice low and tight. “You know what? Forget it. I’m done trying.”
And with that, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.
River stood still for a long time, staring at the floor, his jaw locked tight, his hands curling into fists.
Only when he was sure Jace was gone did he finally sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair and for the first time in years, River Hale looked… conflicted.
- Writer
