Sexmate ON GOING! [ENGLISH]

Chapter 8 - Whatever It Takes

Hana's Point of View

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I heard him gasp out of despair, his hands are now burried on his face ,

I saw his angry face turning at my side, I closed my eyes swiftly, but I know it's too late and Marco is standing infront of me, with his muscular torso showing like a sore thumb,

"Hana, I know you're awake," his voice are now demanding and desperate,

His angry tone made me opened my eyes, he looked drunk and he smelled like a burnt cigarette,

"Let's have s*x, go naked, now." He ordered me as if I'm enslaved to him,

I wanted to complain that I'm tired and all worn out,

I mean do I have the rights over him?

"Stripped off infront of me,"

Marco's eyes turned dark, as if he wants to quenched me to the fullest,

I slightly moved my body up, and sat up taking away the bedsheet that is covering my body,

Marco impatiently grabbed my wrist to stand me up, that made my mind go dizzy,

I gave him a meaningful look then he scoffed putting his guard up again, with his arrogance is visible on his face,

"What? Are you going to cry now?"

Marco gritted his teeth as he pull me harshly towards him, squeezing my body,

I didn't fought back, my eyes softens and I rested my head on his chest feeling his weak heart beat,

Does your heart beat slows down when you're in grief?

Or is he just tired of everything?

His hugged loosens and his face became bored and empty,

I took my chance to take off my shirt showing him my whole glory,

He watches me in awe when I did that, 

Because he knows that I have a fear of stripping off, and he is the one who always undresses me, but now I'm doing it on my own infront of him,

Marco's lips is slightly opened trying not to look so hard on my bare skin,

He then looked away,

"Hana,"

He called out my name with a warning, it means I have plenty of chance to wear my shirt again, and I chose not to, that made him winced out of guilt when I stayed still and naked,

My eyes hardened on him, as I pushed his buffed chest on the bed, his eyes went wide and it's clear that he was too shocked to even act out,

I landed my body on top of him, while he's laying flat on the bed,

"Let's just sleep, Hana--" Marco faltered back still looking away from me, this time his face is ashamed and crimson,

I interrupted him with a sweet kiss, my heart suddenly beats faster, as if there's an emergency going on but no, it's a height of joy when I felt his lips kisses me back with his huge hand holding my hair kissing me heartily,

I rubbed his thing on his slacks, I heard him moan in between our kisses,

He's hard,

I parted my lips and I looked down on his slacks,

Marco is looking at me now all drunken in lust,

I was about to unzip his pants off when he stopped me, my eyes lifted up on him,

"Did he touched you?" Marco bluntly said his voice is lingering like a cold metal to me,

That made my body went cold,

"Answer me, Hana," His voice turning into anger again, and I know I can't escape him,

I slowly nodded, as my tears gushes out from my eyelids,

"Forcefully?" He continued, with his eyebrows furrowed upsettingly,

"I don't want it, Marco. I would never--"

He didn't let me finished and he pushes me down on the bed, this time he's on top of me hovering my small body,

"You know that makes me jealous," Marco spoke in full honesty,

Looking and piercing at my eyes like a knife, tearing my inner soul,

Jealous? 

Is that an act of being possessive?

"I want you for myself only, Hana, you hear me?" He lowered his head and his voice is cracking , I can't see his eyes but his lips are quivering,

I nodded, as I reached for his cheeks,

I sat up and he did too, I watched him slowly let his guard down and cried in front of me all of the sudden,

I may not know the reason why, but asking won't do, 

Because he's showing it all, trusting me with his sensitive emotions,

When he calms down, I layed my hands on his, and kissed his neck and licked it,

He slowly moaned and I felt that he understands it,

He needs to let it go,

To let it all go, all the hatred all the grudges all that is pulling him down and chaining him,

My lips traveled to his lips, and it felt electrifying when we kissed with our emotions are now whole and clear,

This is it,

This is true,

He lays down and he let me be on top of him,

So I crawled and sat by his shaft and grind it slowly, seeing how pleased he is, made me feel satisfied.

"Do you like that?" I asked sweetly my voice is mellow light,

I saw him exhaled sharply and nodded blushing,

I unzipped his pants and he helped me take it off,

I felt his tips with my fingers and I slid it inside of me, willingly,

I'm used,

I'm decayed,

But this is what I'm used for,

My purpose,

A stupid way to tend someone's wound.

I teared up, when he held my waist and grind me inside as if he's in thirst waiting to be quenched by me,

I'm his sexmate after all.

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"I think I'll miss you," 

Marco spoke out of nowhere after a long silence,

It's 3 am early in the morning, the sky is not awake, but here we are, cuddling, and kissing.

I looked up on his face while we're both laying on the bed my body entangling on his,

"Why?" I asked with husky and sleepy voice,

What for?

Is there something to miss about me?

Marco shook his head and smiling, I saw him and he's in a very comfortable state,

"Nothing," he meekly answered, his fingertips are playing on my hair,

My eyes flicker and stare by the open terrace, hearing the faint sound of the wind blowing smoothly,

I don't want to expect,

There's no room for hoping either,

But sticking on this situation is my only choice to atleast feel a genuine emotion having s*x with a stranger,

That made me think, my head lifted up on him, facing him,

"Marco," I breathed his name, and he opened his eyes to me, entertaining me with his fair grey eyes, "Are we strangers?"

I waited for him to answer, his forehead furrowed, searching my face, as if asking me ' why did you ever thought of that',

"Are we, Hana?" Marco spoke in light voice, his hand sliding on the side of my cheek, his lips curled into a frown,

I shook my head, not because I agree but because that's not the answer I want to hear from him,

I want him to say 'yes',

To hear him say 'we're strangers, and will remain that way' ,

But what he said next made my heart fluttered in excitement, fear and agitation,

"We're more than strangers, Hana, we're not even friends, you're special to me, and only for me," 

Marco spoke his words pure, and no hesitation, his tone was so direct and deep, that I couldn't get it off my head,

No.

No, stop it, Marco,

My tears went falling down from my eyelids, my fist clenching on his chest,

Don't give me the reason to feel something for you,

To even feel important because of you,

"Hana, why are you crying?" Marco sat up on the bed, reaching out for my face with both of his hands on my cheeks, hushing me softly,

Please don't be like that, Marco,

I'm worthless, I'm not a decent person,

Not even a dignified one,

A worthy for a crowd,

I'm a filthy rug,

"I just want to sleep, Marco," my voice broke down, wiping away my tears and shoving away his hands on my face,

Marco lets me go, and watches me lay down and curled my body, turning away sideways from him,

I felt his gaze stayed still on me, watching me sleep, his eyes lingers at me, until I force myself to sleep,

I felt Marco leaned down on me, kissing my forehead lightly, then he held my hand and squeezed it gently,

"Goodnight, Hana."

My dreams were filled of my past, as a stripper,

As a prostitute.

Where I came from, is a dirty place, rich men running the entertainment bar, some women enjoy their jobs, others were not.

And that others are the children than came from the orphanage,

Some attempted to suicide, some just accepted their fate.

And I was neither of them,

The nun who acted like a mother to me when the orphanage was still strong and active,

She told me that I should have hope every passing day, because without it, I'll be a dead leaf who kept on falling from a fruitful tree.

I wish it was that easy to even have hope with me,

When I didn't even know where I came from,

Nor will I ever get to be adopted someday,

But I ended up to an entertainment bar instead,

That day, I never saw the nun who put her whole heart on taking care of us,

The girls in the bar laughed at us, with our body like sticks and bones,

They gawked at us and insulted us,

They said that their customer would lose their appetites just by looking at us,

Young, homeless, helpless, peasants and malnourished.

We started off from cleaning the bathrooms and stadium every 3am when the bar closes down and opens again at night.

The boys became garbage boy at day and driver at night,

I meant by that, boys who were 14 years old and above was taught how to drive at night, picking up some wealthy people, and dropping them by here,

Those boys who were younger than 14 was given a job to be a paper man outside the bar, giving a brochure even a small letter in a secrecy to the commoners who were interested about the entertainment bar,

The tough part was left to us women,

We were taught how to put on some make up, they'll slap you if you don't look satisfying enough, they won't give you food nor a drink until you prettied yourself enough to be noticed by the clients,

Some died on their sleep, from severe hunger, hydration and sickness, some just died out of heartbroken, depression and such.

It was an awful world inside an entertainment bar,

and people kept on seeing us like filthy rugs that we don't want a clean job, and still we chose this inhumane work.

I disagreed,

this was never my choice nor the orphans who were bought by this bar!

my hatred grew, that I was on the verge of suiciding, 

But on that day, with a kitchen knife by my wrist, I stopped, when I heard this small and still voice,

Calling me out, telling me to stop,

So I dropped that knife and cried my whole heart in grief, other women came rushing in my room, and they just look at me with pity,

I can't escape this bar,

If I do, they'll lock me up in a dark room and won't feed me for 3days,

The other prostitute told me that,

But I was hopeless, killing myself is like dying with this kind of life, that I chose not to change nor fought for freedom that I longed for,

I wanted to hope, but there's nothing for me to keep on holding on,

It was a dead end for me,

Until the fateful day when I met Marco,

It wasn't near,

Not even far for me to grasp a fresh air,

But it gave me hope.

He gave me hope.

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   thank you for reading

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