Healing Journey

Day 2: Sacral Chakra Orange

Your SACRAL Chakra is located just below your belly button and right above your s*x organs. I like to think my Sacral chakra is housed quite politely within my fupa. It's purpose is to ignite and display your passions. Many people take this to mean s*x. Is that a part of what it entails? ABSOLUTELY. Is that all that it does? Definitely Not.

Your Sacral is responsible for your passions and your divine feminine energy. This can be art, dance, education, war, leadership, anything! You can literally be passionate about anything. The important part is to recognize what drives you so that you can make it grow.

When you are out of alignment you will feel stagnant. Life will be a chore, colorless and even the most adventurous moments will feel like a chore. When it is overactive and silently running your life, you will have a tendency to be reckless. Making decisions with no respect for yourself or the other souls who share your story line.

The first time I realized I was really good at something- multi-tasking. Waitressing was the only job I felt I could do with ease. Running circles around newbies at a restaurant job made me feel in power and it was the only job I could get without having criminal background & credit checks. Dealing with people, they would always tell me how much they enjoyed or wanted to know me. I guess when you’re young and wet behind the ears to life you work harder. You work 3 jobs. You sleep in your car. You bring home cash. You work til you’re bones hurt. You work. Working gives experience. And experience will get me the career I want because if I prove myself long enough I’ll get the opportunity to move up. Yeahhh no. The restaurant owners were racist. Only had white people who were mediocre at best as their GM and whom was also f*****g the waitress whom couldn’t stop drinking and passing out every night at the very same restaurants bar. Then his other manager got pregnant and dipped. So I just knew I’d be next. Nope. Despite having the best serving record. Nope. The raise to become a manager was from 2.13 to 4.50…plus tips. Laughable. So I jumped ship and it closed literally two years later due to poor management. I find it funny. I could have been all you needed bc business and food was becoming a thing for me. I was actually good at it handling 6-7 tables at a time. I was the s**t. Always been the s**t and will continue to be the s**t. ?

The “passion” came from me wanting to be the best at whatever I did. I walk into rooms expecting respect. I work harder. I grind different. I want so much out of life. I know I will get everything I deserve out this life but I don’t know exactly how to do that in a white world that doesn’t accept rehabilitated felons. I’ve been a felon since 20 so just “getting a job” ain’t gonna happen to secure finances. I have to go above and beyond and apologize and make myself look frail and sad and so remorseful so the person giving me the “opportunity” gain social power. I’ve even had a interviewer tell me “well if I give u a chance- u have to do your diligence to prove you’re not “really” a felon” - no s**t Sherlock Holmes. Doesn’t anyone have to prove themselves at a new job. And the icing: I didn’t even get the f*****g job. Like bruahh! So you tried to play big power dynamics in the interview where I conceded and peaked and like oh please just for you to NOT hire me.

Anywho. I’m great at multi tasking. So I opened my own business. Not profitable and has little direction but I’m working on it. In a perfect world I have a business that will be a all in one encompassing marketing and advertising agency that offered models, ideas, and social media marketing. I am currently adding notary to the repertoire’ after relocating to OH. Once I get notary under my belt, I believe income will flow quicker and allow for steadiness. After obtaining my notary for NC, OH is a reciprocal state so I’ll be able to practice here as well since I already have the clientele here. Then while all of this is going on I will get my real estate license as well as my massage license. Right now I’m waiting on the letter from the real estate board of Ohio to allow me to go apply for the real estate license bc as we all know a felon is the worst thing under the sun so I am currently on the path of writing and begging everyone to speak on my behalf that I’m a f*****g okay person. This is the part of the process I hate. Whole heartedly. Wish me luck.

Oh I like organizing. It makes me feel in control and helpful to organize and clean. I’ve gotten obsessed with it lately so it’s not leisure any longer but I wish it was. Luckily being a part time fake house wife - it helps.