A Love That was never meant to Be

Balancing Dreams with Distractions

Balancing Dreams with Distractions

I felt like he looked at me the way I was scanning him. What will he think about me? Uff. Radhe, please give me some sign. Shri Radhe, Krishna ki Radhe, please, give me a sign.

Actually, I talk about everything to Radhe Rani, and I always get some reply from her. But today, I don't know, I’m not getting any response, and everything feels so different. I just started remembering him, his eyes, his look, and the way he looked at me—I can't seem to get over it. I want to see those eyes again.

What is this, what bell is ringing? I don’t know, I just keep remembering him. Uff, I’m getting late for class, but I increased my pace and finally reached class on time. I usually like to sit in the first or second row, especially in the middle row, but today, I wasn’t in the mood, and it made me a little upset.

Anyway, I settled in the second row, and the professor arrived. He took attendance and then mentioned that some students hadn’t come to class. He said, "It’s the first day, so we’ll wait for 5 minutes, then we’ll start the class."

With those 5 minutes, I started thinking about his eyes again. Was he looking at me with love or anger? I felt like he was looking at me with anger. Then the professor said, "Let’s start, we need to complete this chapter within one week."

I thought, "One week? How is that possible?" And the subject was Business Organization, which is a whole world in itself. Uff. The professor explained the topic, and it was interesting. Anyway, I had already studied this subject before college started. Hahaha.

With 15 minutes left before the class ended, what? What’s this? That same guy entered the class again? He talked to the professor, and the professor agreed. Then the professor introduced him. His name was "Rohit Gupta." Rohit! Such a sweet name. Rohit was my senior, so he was in the third year. And what’s this? He’s a member of the college sports and fun activities management team. He’s famous.

Rohit said, "Welcome everyone. You all are in the first year. I want to tell you about some college rules. The list of disciplines is on the notice board, please read it. If you need help or information, you can directly coordinate with the team members. If anyone is interested in joining the team, please give your name and contact number."

He thanked everyone and was about to leave, but... when he looked at me, it felt like he gave me the same look again. Radhe, am I losing it, or is Rohit really looking at me? But that "Welcome"—Uff, it was so sweet.

Finally, it was the last class of the day, and during that time, I could only think about Rohit. Then, I recalled something Baba had told me: "Mira, what are you doing? You need to focus only on your studies, not on Rohit." And who even is Rohit Gupta? I didn’t even know him that well, yet I found myself becoming so obsessed. I got frustrated with myself, so I decided to focus entirely on the class, trying to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. But all I could think about was Rohit. So, I decided to take a break and went to talk to Rani.

I asked myself, What’s going on? Why do I miss him so much? It’s only been 7 hours since I saw him, but he’s stuck in my mind like a carbon copy. I thought to myself, Why, Radhe? You should know better. Why Rohit? Baba doesn’t like this. Do you know what Baba did to Bua? She’s been out of the house for 20 years. And now I’m walking down the same path.

I tried to control my heart and mind, packed my bag, and started heading home. When I reached the main gate of the college, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. Why, Mira? You know what your dream is, and Rohit cannot be a part of that dream. As I thought about all this, I reached the bus stop and started waiting for the bus. A couple of minutes later, my heart began racing again. I tried to ignore it and told myself, Mira, you’ve lost your mind.

And then—s**t—Rohit was next in line. I didn’t even realize it! He looked at me and smiled. I was confused, but then he spoke to me. Do you know my name? Without wasting a second, I said,Yes Mr Rohit. Could please tell me your name Miss? I said Mira, Miss Mira , Rohit repeated, Mira... and he said it so sweetly that I couldn’t help but think, My name sounds so sweet when he says it...And then, Rohit wiped his hands as if to clear his mind before asking me, Are you usually like this, or is today something special? My surprised reaction made him laugh. What do you mean? I asked, confused.

He smiled and said, Oh, Miss Mira, I’ve been noticing you since this morning. You seem a little disturbed. I replied, No, I’m fine. But then, he responded, See, even your reply is different today.

That’s when I got angry at myself. I couldn’t control my emotions anymore. Mr. Rohit, you don’t even know me, and yet you’ve analyzed that I’m disturbed? Maybe it’s just that I’m trying to understand the new things happening around me. Why did you jump straight to conclusions without even knowing me?

I could feel my frustration rising. Why was I letting this happen? Why was I letting someone like Rohit have such an effect on me? It was like I couldn't think straight whenever he was around.

As we stood there at the bus stop, the tension in the air was almost unbearable. Rohit was looking at me with this curious expression, his eyes studying me as though he could read my thoughts. It was unsettling and strangely comforting at the same time. Why am I letting this get to me? I wondered. He wasn’t even someone I knew very well, so why did I feel so connected to him?