Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter Nine

I don't know how much later Harold- I think I'll call him Hal- had stayed awake after I fell asleep, but all I know is that it's far past noon and he's still passed out peacefully beside me. I was laying down too, just watching him. It doesn't feel creepy when I'm doing it, but when I actually think about it, it kinda was. He just looks so peaceful and small and vulnerable. I didn't think I'd ever see that man as vulnerable, no, not in a million years. It's nice watching people sleep, you can just study their face and watch their breathing and just, observe. They couldn't object or hide their face or most importantly, get creeped out by your staring.

I sighed then, acknowledging his soft features again. He was actually quite pretty for a guy. He could cover it up pretty well with his near-white concealer over his soft pink lips and dark red eye shadow to distract you from his long eyelashes and dark pencil over his thin eyebrows to mock masculinity. When that was all gone, he almost looked like a porcelain doll.

He started to stir, so I looked away and pretended to be preoccupied, fumbling with my fingers. He stretched and twisted around a bit, and then went limp again.

"Mornin'." I smiled at him, and he opened his eyes and returned the gesture.

"mornin',"

"Or should I say, 'good afternoon'" I chuckled, turning to lay on my back and then sitting up.

"Afternoon?" He sat up as well and leaned over so he could see the clock. "s**t, it's almost one?" He looked genuinely surprised. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked too peaceful to wake," I admitted and he just smirked.

"You were watching me sleep then?" He c****d his head to the side, a gesture I was oh, so familiar with. I blushed then, nodding. His smile grew wider. "It's funny you should say that. You're quite cute when you sleep too." He winked before he swung his legs over the end of the bed and stood up. It was strange because I never said he was cute, he somehow just knew I was thinking it. I just smiled and sat up, and it was then that I realized I wasn't wearing any pants. A light blush rose to my face as I cleared my throat, getting Hal's attention.

"Um, could you hand me my pants? They're over there.." I pointed at the black pool of clothing on the floor. He just nodded and crossed the room, picking them up and tossing them to me. I pulled them over my feet and up my thighs all while still under the covers of the bed. I then stood up out of the bed and picked up the sweater he had also lent me, pulling it over my arms and instantly feeling it warm my body. The motel we were in was pretty low-budget so the heating system wasn't the best.

I remembered our conversation from last night- or earlier this morning, I should say- and smiled to myself. It was nice to actually tell somebody something about you even so much as your birthday as long as they're listening. It's nice to be listened to. I mean, I didn't even go deep into my life story- I probably only told him the weird things about me which I kinda regret now- and there's so much more that I wanna tell him. It's not even that I want him specifically to know, I just want to say it. To anyone who wants to listen.

"Ready to go?" The sudden voice ripped me out of my thoughts, and I jumped slightly, startled. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Sorry I was just thinking- um yeah I'm ready," I said before slipping the ratty converse onto my feet, which went on pretty easy since they were at least three sizes too big to which they always slapped against the ground when I walked. Hal was already at the door when I approached him, and he held it open for me.

"s**t-" he said under his breath before dodging back into the motel room. I looked at him confused, the door resting against my side as I stood in the doorway waiting, as he picked up the notebook from the coffee table and ripped two, maybe three pages out of it and folded them gently, shoving them into his pocket. I guessed they were the end product of what he had been working on last night. He returned and walked out the door to the car. I closed the door after him and followed, walking to the other side of the car as he threw his bag in the back seat. He returned the key to the receptionist before climbing into the driver's side of the car and shoving the keys in the ignition.

**************

Belleville was quiet. It was seven on a Sunday night, and most people were probably in having dinner or watching tv, whatever normal people do at this time. Hal was just sitting, doing whatever he was doing on his phone and I was sitting on the couch picking at my nails because I had nothing more entertaining to do. It was when Hal's head shot up that I stopped and looked at him surprised.

"What?" I asked, and he just raised a finger signalling me to be quiet. When I heard a car door open and close soon after that, Hal stood up slowly and looked out the window.

"Police-" he muttered, and my heart began to race. "Hide... Uh, here, come with me." I stood up quickly and followed him into the kitchen, and he opened the cupboard beneath the sink.

"You can fit in there, right?"

"I have a surprising amount of experience with hiding in small spaces, I'll be fine," I assured him before crouching down and crawling into the space. I heard a knock on the door and Hal quickly shut the cupboard and walked calmly to the door as if he had no idea who was there. I heard the front door open.

"Belleville Police Department, are you Harold Grimwald?" A strong voice spoke, and my heart began picking up its pace.

"Yeah, w-"

"Where were you last night at 9:30pm?"

"I went to Monroeville to visit a friend, is there a problem sir?"

"We've got a missing person's report on miss Faith McGregor and street cam footage of your car approaching the house, you entering, and the car leaving."

"Yes, that's my friend. I was with my sister, she took the car back to the motel after I went into the house because we were gonna be drinking that night. I ended up staying in a motel that night but she was still there when I left, so-"

"Which motel did you stay in and for what reason?"

"Well- Faith's been going through some stuff and I tried to talk to her about it but she got mad at me and kicked me out, had to get my sister to pick me up and take me to her motel, I forget what it's called but it's a little one on the edge of the city-"

"Yes, we have footage of your car pulling up to the motel after 12. And you were with a boy, that your sister?"

"Correct, sir."

There was a pause, a sigh, and then another voice spoke. "May we have a look around?"

"Go ahead." And then the front door closed. I froze, knowing that they could open the cupboard and find me at any time. I wasn't what they were looking for, but I'm sure they'd be more than happy if they found me instead.

There wasn't much of a threat to me if they did find me, Hal would go to jail and I'd be back to my normal life. I could tell the cops everything- about getting kidnapped and almost killed, how McCracken wants to kill me, the girl from last night, everything. And then I'd be safe. I'd be safe at home and I'd have my dad back and I could actually have a life-

But then there was Hal. He took my boring f**k-all of a life and turned it into something exciting and livable.

Did I even want my old life back? Sitting on a dirty couch counting the number of people who cared about me on one hand, (there were none,) without even a phone or DS or any electronics really, to occupy my time. What would I do with a phone anyway? I didn't go to school, I didn't have any friends.

I held up one hand in front of me. I couldn't see it in the darkness of my hiding place, but I knew it was there. I held up one finger. One, that's more than I could count a week ago. One person who cared about me and one person I cared about. I mean, of course he cared about me, right? I'm basically living with him because he doesn't want me to be on my own, especially with someone like McCracken on my tail. Of course he cares about me. If he didn't care about me he would just kick me out on the streets. Actually, he would've killed me when he had the chance.

And I think I care about him too. At first, I stuck with him out of fear and for protection. But now that I have a clear chance to get out and have everything back to normal, here I am. Sitting quietly under his kitchen sink counting the number of people who care about me on one hand. It was the one finger I held up that kept me here. It was the fact that I hadn't really been living until Hal was thrown into the picture. It was the feeling I got when he had his hand on my back, calming me and soothing me and making my brain go crazy because I just wanted more. And I'm not gonna get more if those police officers find me.

It wasn't even the safety and protection I had. It wasn't the fact that if I left I'd get killed. It was Hal. I wanted to stay here because that's where Hal is. If I left, if the police found me here now, he'd be taken away from me and I'd probably never see him again aside form court dates. I wouldn't get a chance to get further inside his head. I wouldn't get a chance to hold him or be held by him. I probably wouldn't get a chance to be held at all if I went back to my dad. Not ever. I wanted to stay here because Hal made me feel alive.

The police were in the kitchen now, their heavy boots not hiding their position at all as they travelled across the tile floor. The light that shone through the crack between the two cupboard doors faltered slightly as the two officers passed it. I held my breath. I wouldn't let them take me away from Hal. I wasn't even what they were looking for.

I let out the breath I was holding in as they exited the kitchen and continued down the hall into the bedroom and bathroom, then back into the main area.

"Looks good, have a nice night, sir." The first officer spoke.

"You too," Hal muttered and I heard a door open and close, indicating that the two officers had left. I slowly pushed the doors of the cupboard open and crawled out of the small space. Hal came into the kitchen then and leaned in the doorway. I stood up and patted the dust off of my clothes.

"Y'know it's a really good thing I'm good at lying," Hal spoke, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. I smiled too, nodding.

"Do you come up with stories like that on the spot or did you already plan that out?" I asked, amazed at how easily and smoothly the lie fell from his tongue. There was a huge sense of relief that washed over me after the police left. I wanted to reach forwards and hug him. But I wasn't going to do that.

"Nah, it was all improvised. It was a fuckin miracle that it actually made sense though, jeez.." He brought a hand up to run the back of his neck. He dropped it back down before I asked the next question.

"Does that happen a lot?"

"No, actually... I'm usually a lot more careful, I've never had a case brought back to me." He said, shuffling his feet. "I don't know why I was so reckless this time."

"I guess it's just easier to focus when you're alone," I suggested, and he nodded. Neither of us said anything else after that. After a few moments, Hal walked to the fridge and opened it.

"We haven't eaten all day... You hungry?" He asked. It was funny to me that he was so casual now. He treated me like I was just a friend who was visiting him, not a hostage. I mean I wasn't really a hostage, it wasn't like I was tied up in his basement and I could probably leave pretty easily which I wasn't going to do either, but I wasn't a visiting friend either.

"Uh, a little, yeah" I replied, still standing in the same spot, leaning against the counter in front of the sink. He nodded and looked into the fridge again, grabbing a jug of milk and then closing the fridge. He then went into the pantry and pulled out a box of cereal.

Cereal at 7:30pm? Sounds alright to me.

The rest of the night was pretty calm. We ate our cereal dinner- mine dry because I couldn't eat dairy,- watched t.v, and then went to bed. Well, he went to bed, I went to the couch.

I held up my finger again. One person cared about me, and that's one more reason to fall asleep with a smile on my face.