The Beginning of The End

Lunch

Scarlett

When life is slowly disintegrating into a messy pile of problems, small moments matter. The snowball effect has got to a point now where it can't get any bigger and it is ready to burst and 17 years of snow has got to go somewhere. The problems have built up from a small point and now they are smothering us and in this context, the minor things seem much more important because they add to the weight forcing itself down upon us. And it was from one of these minor events that we really started to understand the problem we were facing.

***

The day dragged by. Seconds became minutes, minutes became hours and as time crawled by at a snail's pace my mind was wandering. You can only focus on genetic engineer for so long before it becomes a load of repetitive scientific jargon. I mean I understand the need for creating disease-resistant crops for poor countries but why do teachers have to carry on talking about the ethical rubbish that seems to be associated with any scientific discovery when they are fully aware that most of the class don't care and are just falling asleep.

I glanced at Alex but he was too busy nodding his head along to the lecture our teacher insisted on giving any time a really stupid question was asked to meet my gaze. Science was the only lesson that the 5 of us properly got split up in. That was the problem with having a surname that is late in the register when all your friends have early surnames. Most teachers allowed us the privilege of choosing who we were forced to spend lesson time with so long as we tried to be sensible and not talk too much. A real challenge for some of the girls in my class who had a million things to say when anyone mentions anything slightly related to common gossip or useless celebrity information. But our science teacher insisted we sit in alphabetical order despite the fact that he has taught us for 4 years in a row and knows our names backwards without even having to think about it.

It didn't matter about being split up though as Alex and I have been able to communicate with our eyes, expressions and body language for years now. The only problem is that he is often paying too much attention to the teacher and not enough to me to be able to register that I am trying to communicate with him. My other friends have all tried to do the same but it normally results in shaking of heads or mouthed 'what?' conversations.

I focused my eyes on the clock and despite the expression, a watched pot never boils the minute hand did eventually make its way to the o'clock signalling the start of lunch, finally.

The bell sounded and a rather annoyed science teacher dismissed us mid-lecture. I followed the herd of people filing out the door and fell into step alongside my friends.

"Finally, I thought we'd never escape. I think I am going to be personally scarred." A standard comment from the always overdramatic Hattie.

"I thought it was fascinating. Think of all the miracles they can achieve using genetic engineering." Alex was such a geek sometimes. He looked at me his eyes willing me to agree.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Hattie on this one." The grin in Alex's eyes fell away and I quickly added, "It's not that I don't think it's important but Mr Blackwell doesn't exactly make the ethical side of things fun." That suppressed his comments.

"Thank you. At least someone agrees with me. That's more than I can say for some people." Hattie gave John a little shove. Obviously, I had missed something by being on the other side of the room. A shoot them a confused look.

"What I didn't do anything." John accompanied his comment with a standard shrug and a cheeky grin.

"Oh come on you were totally staring at Victoria through the whole lesson. It was so totally obvious. You were probably cursing when the bell went and she left." Something Hattie was particularly interested in - relationships.

"I was not." A weak protest attempt. The cheeky grin never left his face.

"You absolutely were. You can't even attempt to deny it" You had to admit Hattie was persistent when she wanted to be.

"Try me?"

"Will you two just shut up so we can talk about the more important things?" Alex was not the best at peace-making but at least he was trying. I was busy trying to catch up with the details I had missed.

"This is important!" Hattie was definitely one that liked to win an argument and normally didn't stop until she had succeeded.

"That's enough" I added knowing that everyone in the group usually listened to me. I noticed that Sophia was remaining pretty quiet through the entire conversation. She usually did but I liked to include her in discussions when I could. "What did you think of the science lesson Soph?"

She jumped at the sound of her name and I felt bad for interrupting her train of thought. Sophia spends most of her time coursing through the sea of information in her head. I know she has lots of opinions she just very rarely voices them.

"I liked it. I can see that there could be a great use for genetic engineering in the future. It could help cure many diseases." Her voice was quiet, uncertain and she spoke to the ground as if her opinion was not important and she was sorry for intruding on our conversation.

The answer was actually quite smart. If a teacher had asked I'm sure they would have been pleased with what they received. I think her intelligence, if shown more, would be enough to rival Alex as the group's 'brainiac'. But she was always distant. I always believe that if I had not approached her and brought her into our group she would have been happy to drift along, an invisible presence that was always there but never truly engaged in anything. In fact, she often assumed that role even within our group. I looked at Alex for support. I needed his brain to get Sophia engaged in conversation.

He quickly took the hint. "I completely agree. Don't you think that stem cell cloning could also be a useful way of curing people who have been paralysed?" I was happy for the bailout. Let the people that actually understand what they are talking about act smart and I'll try to follow when I can.

"Only if we can find a way to create our own stem cells or a lot of Christians will have a problem with the use of excess fertility treatment embryos." I actually saw the smile reach Sophia's eyes. When talking about science she was completely at ease.

"There might be a way to clone your nerve cells from your functioning adult cells that could replace the broken nerve cells in your central nervous system." OK, now I was totally lost. I don't even remember studying this in our Science lessons.

"Could you imagine a million clones of you wandering round how weird would that be?" Hattie likes to contribute to every conversation even if she doesn't have a clue what the conversation is truly about.

We emerged from the building huge grins stretching across our faces and we were still laughing when we reached the corner of the field where we eat lunch every day.

Lunch was the point in which the regimented routine was finally squashed and we had free rein to do almost anything we wanted to do. This meant we could relax, chat and stop thinking about the dreadful GCSEs we were going to be taking next year.

Our section of the field was alive with colour. The lush green grass stretched out from the old oak tree that dressed the hedge surrounding our sports field. The green faded to a dull, overworked area of land a few meters away from our position below the tree. This specific place was the only wild, lively part of our boring sports field our adventurous minds could find. The hedge was no longer the neat dead straight, rectangular shape that it was round the rest of the field. We believed the oak was to blame for that. Apparently, it had been there for centuries and was protected by the government so they couldn't cut it down. This caused major problems when trimming the hedge to look like the rest of the regimented field and the protruding root made cutting the grass to within an inch of its life tricky too. The result was a small area of untouched land on the border of an otherwise boring part of the school grounds. Right from the start of school, we had claimed the untouched paradise and the other students accepted it as fact, that even if they asked we weren't going to move. This meant that from an early age this had been our spot and now as we were nearly at the top of the school it was even easier to ensure that we were in control of the small area of wilderness. No one questioned that. And now no one will ever need to.

As usual, we slumped on the soft uncut cushion of grass leaning on the trunk of the old tree. Though the school provided a canteen we learnt early on to avoid the food at all costs. Occasionally the food was alright and whenever the canteen decided to reward us with greasy, salt smothered chips the queue was endless but for the other 99% of the time the older students stalked around outside and avoided the science experiments that went wrong which the canteen called food. The younger students who hadn't been warned of the horror that awaits them were either forced to eat the unhealthy slop or ate in the canteen area praying that their friends didn't die after the first few mouthfuls of school 'dinners'. Of course, if anyone did actually die the school would have to rethink the clever way I though up to punish us further but until then the school was safe to serve whatever mess they could create.

We ate quickly, as usual, chatting easily. Alex tried to include Sophia in the conversation as much as possible but mostly she seemed content to just listen. Hattie was taking every opportunity to sway conversation back to science class and tease John incessantly because he was still weakly attempting to deny everything she claimed. The only irritating thing about Hattie- she will not give up until she has won an argument be we loved her for this characteristic also. Many times she had been able to argue her way out of extra detentions, extra homework, exam retakes and anything else she didn't feel like doing benefiting the whole class.

I was lying in the grass staring at the sun through the tree branches when a familiar face appeared in my peripheral vision. Mike approached with his usual confidence. I sat up and spun so I was facing the direction he was approaching from. All 5 of us were staring at him. The smile slid from John's face and his expression changed to one of pure hatred.

Mike was supposedly the most popular guy in school and most girls claimed he was the only one worth dating. He was also John's cousin. They are mortal enemies and have sworn to stay as far away from each other as possible which is quite difficult in science when you have the same surname. His tall frame towered over us in our position on the floor. His dark blonde fringe was swept to the side and his icy blue eyes were fixed on Hattie. She held his gaze. Other than John, we were all searching his face for some reason to be getting this close to his cousin of his own free will. From his eyes that were locked on Hattie, there was no prize for guessing she had something to do with it. That much was obvious to every other girl in school whose eyes never left him as much as it was the 5 of us.

"I thought the idea was we stayed as far away from each other as possible cousz. Is there something in that sentence you don't understand because I would be happy to explain it to you?" John's voice was as icy as Mike's blue eyes. It had lost all signs of the humour that was present just moments ago.

"Believe me cousz; this does not concern you at all. I am here to speak to Hattie." His voice was also laced with poison whilst addressing his cousin but grew lighter when he mentioned Hattie's name. "In fact, I was just leaving. You coming, Hattie?"

I could tell from Hattie's expression that she was lost for words. Her early smart-assed comments were forgotten and I think she didn't trust her voice. She nodded and got up gingerly. I swear she was so shocked she nearly fainted.

Mike put his arm around her and led her away to the other side of the field. No truce there then. To others, the gesture looked friendly, caring but to me it was possessive. Cousin rivalry again. Mike was the reason for John's obsession with being cool. They were cousins and therefore they should be similar. But each cousin wanted what the other one had. Mike was popular, John was Hattie's friend.

She had always been the one of us who drew attention to herself. Sophia was happy pretending she didn't exist and I was happy to be single. That left Hattie a pretty, bubbly girl who obsessed over boys whenever she could - an easy target and someone who would bring the cousin rivalry heavily one-sided. The thing is with Hattie she likes the attention she would get by dating this player and she wouldn't listen to our constant protests about getting her feelings hurt.

"I don't like this one bit." It was John that voiced my concerns out loud.

"You shouldn't let your rivalry with Mike influence everything you think." As I had expected Alex was attempting to ignore the obvious signs of the problem and give Hattie room to make her own decisions. That was fine but she wasn't going to hear us now so I couldn't understand why Alex was saying this. We all knew how much of a problem Mike could be and what he could do to people's hearts if they weren't careful. The last girl he toyed with moved countries to escape the constant nightmares the memories gave her and the rumours claim she is seeking professional help in Austria.

Sophia was thinking the same. Her eyes were fixed on Alex's face as though by examining it hard enough she would discover what he was thinking and read his emotions as I could so easily do.

I stared at where Hattie and Mike were talking. She didn't seem too worried. After the initial shock she had recovered well and now it appeared that she was smiling and joking with him. No one seemed concerned by their conversation but almost every girl in our year had their eyes fixed on Hattie waiting for her to slip up so one of them could move in and take her place.

"I'm getting a closer look." As soon as the words were out of my mouth I stood up and started making my way along the long stretch of hedge towards the other end of the field. I heard Alex get up behind me as if to stop me but I was already too far away for him to bring me back without drawing attention to us. He was very strongly against snooping around while someone was having a conversation they obviously didn't want you to hear. He stayed put and I continued to creep along the hedge edging closer and closer every second.

The stretch of hedge in front of me was decreasing in length as I stalked closer. I kept my footsteps quiet placing my feet lightly on the ground as I went but I walked normally so that I didn't raise any suspicion for the other students dotted over the field. The sun felt brighter out of the shade cast from the tree and the midday sun blazed down making the air around me not only hot with tension but with the heat of summer too.

Still, I stalked closer to them and when I felt I was close enough to hear the conversation I chose a girl from my music class to speak to. She was standing nearby with some of her friends from the school band.

"Hi," I was not interested in talking to Maisie but I needed an excuse to be over on this side of the field. "How are you?"

"Hey Scarlett, I was just thinking about you. How far have you got in your music piece so far? I keep getting stuck on the end of the first page." My aim was to keep her talking so I could focus on the conversation Hattie was having behind her.

"Not too bad I have nearly finished. I think if you alter the tempo of the section in the middle it makes it easier and I have added some crescendos and diminuendos to make the piece more interesting. What are you struggling with?"

"The really tricky phrase with the acciaccaturas in it, I keep..." it tuned out of what she was saying and focused on the conversation behind. I was trying not to seem rude but I could think of no other way of judging for myself what was going on with Hattie.

"...You have to admit that you're the only girl in school who really gets me. With everyone else they just look at me and think I'm great because I'm popular but you really understand me." A load of rubbish Mike fed any girl he was trying to get to fall for him. He didn't need to try hard with Hattie. She has always secretly liked him but she supports her friends and acts as if Mike is nothing but John's annoying cousin to her.

Hattie laughed. "I doubt it seeing as I know absolutely nothing about you."

"Would you like to find out more?" Where does he get these cheesy chat up lines from? You should give that guy a medal for his efforts.

Hattie laughed again. She was doing a lot of that lately. "That depends on whether you want me to or not." She was subconsciously twirling her curly hair around her finger as she spoke.

"You know what I want." More pathetic chat up lines.

"... Scarlett?" Oh, shoot I hadn't heard a word of the conversation I was supposed to be having with Maisie.

"Sorry?" I hoped that it didn't look like I wasn't paying attention throughout the entire conversation.

"I said, what do you think I should do Scarlett?" Oh great.

"I suggest you play through the phrase missing out the acciaccaturas. Try to get a hold of the melody itself. Then when you think you have the melody sorted add in the complicated stuff afterwards." I hoped that had answered her question seeing as it was the only part of the conversation I had actually heard.

"Thanks." She didn't seem confused by my answer - what a relief.

"Sorry Maisie, would love to chat but I have to go." I needed to escape I couldn't stand here pretending to listen for long. Next time I might not be so lucky.

"Ok." She only seemed slightly upset. "See you tomorrow in music."

"Good luck." I left as I said it feel bad at using Maisie in that way but I had the information I needed.

I returned to my friends in our section of the field make sure to keep my pace normal so as not to raise suspicion. I might seem weird to you to treat eavesdropping on a conversation as if it is a secret spy mission but that is the way things work with my friends. We respect each other and that means taking what everyone says at face value and not looking for a deeper meaning or concealed secrets. I felt bad for spying.

They raised their eyes as I approached.