A & A

[23]: the realization

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23

the realization

"For your thoughts a penny,

but for your actions a dollar.

One that complements the other,

one I have yet to believe."

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He's not exactly sure what made him realize all the things he was able to last night, but he rationalized that his thoughts were right. Ever since he arrived, the first thing he did was try and get Aurora back—make her his again and make things like how it was three years ago. He concluded that maybe the reason why Aurora is so adamant on forgetting everything is because of his constant push to instantly turn things to normal again.

He wasn't able to see her feelings.

Just his, always his, never hers.

So he lied on his bed late last night, thinking and realizing. Maybe his brazen approaches weren't the key to things turning to normal again. Maybe it was the friendship, the familiarity, the prospect of taking things slow.

And as much as he wants to have her again, he can't. Not when she's obviously unwilling and repulsed by his presence. He would have to make his approaches more realistic and not impulsive. He has to set aside his personal feelings and goals and consider her feelings.

Finally see her feelings.

Just hers, always hers, never his.

It was hard for him. Trying to bury the almost decade-long feelings he has captured for the blue-eyed, strong-willed blonde he has known for a long time but he knows that that's the way to go. Maybe not really bury it. More like lessen it and make it less tangible. Not like he was expecting that to exactly go to plan, but it was worth a try.

Friendship, friendship, friendship.

Restore the foundation and recapture the relationship once the friendship is rekindled.

Friendship, friendship, friendship.

And right now, as he stood inside the bakery with Aurora standing not too far away from him, he thought that maybe now would be a good time to try his new plan.

"Do you never do anything in your free time but be on your phone all the time?" She heard Alexander ask from near her, feeling those steely, gray eyes settle on her. Ignoring the words he just uttered, she tuned him out and continued what she was doing like Alexander didn't even speak to her.

Already used to the way Aurora is always like this, he was completely unperturbed by her rude action. He didn't really mind what she just did, considering how it would be absolutely hypocritical of him to complain to her about the way she acts when he acts the exact same way. It may not be a complete replica, but the main gist is there—cold, rude and heartless. The only difference is that he’s more attuned to his callous side more than the blue-eyed woman is—which is only natural since he’s had more time to be just like that. How she also drastically changed after three years didn't also leave his attention, but decided not to say anything about it. Knowing her, she would probably just tell him how it's none of his business and go back to ignoring his presence. So instead, he merely pursed his lips in thought and kept his steady gaze on her.

The bakery today isn't as busy as the previous days, so the pair of them were able to get some well-deserved break, the rest of the employees manning the different stations they were assigned to. As a result, the both of them were left with nothing to do but supervise the works of the employees—not like there's something that needs to be supervised, considering how the rest of the crew is doing an absolutely great job. And so, in order to entertain themselves, Aurora immediately dived in for the chance to grab her phone and scroll through whatever apps she can open and Alexander making it his day's goal to goad and jibe her as much as possible.

Feel how bored they are yet? Well, more than they already are. There’s not much they can do inside the bakery anyway, and just wasting the day away like this everyday is only making the day feel like it’s moving more tediously than they’re used to. 

Alexander released a breath. "Aur," He started. "let's go and take a walk outside. The boardwalk is especially lovely today. There aren't as many people as usual so it’s not all that crowded."

He waited three seconds, five seconds, until finally, he was blessed with Aurora's voice that he has waited for to hear ever since the start of their break. "That's because there's an on-going event somewhere on the beach and obviously, people are getting ready for that." She told him in an unenthusiastic voice, like talking to him would suddenly give her some unnameable disease—which she believes she actually would get.

The beach? Again? He could actually feel how the cells in his face started working to make his expression resemble one that could only be identified as dislike. Keeping his foul expression on, he said, "An event? Well that's stupid." He scoffed. "Who would want to go to a party located at the beach?"

That's when she finally had enough of her companion's stupid and nonsensical comments. Heaving and releasing a big breath, she c****d her head to the side to be able to gaze at him more clearly. "People who actually have a life and are not acting like a spoiled little brat who throws a fit when he doesn't get what he wants."

It didn't really escape his attention on how Aurora's words had an underlying meaning to it; like she's describing someone who he clearly knows, which, in this case, is him—and he knows because as much as he hates to admit it, the things she just said described him perfectly. Clearing his throat to take away the slight awkwardness of the situation, he looked at Aurora straight in the eye and said, "A bit shady for you, but okay. I get your point."

A small smirk appeared on her lips. "How fascinating." She remarked dryly.

He rolled his steely eyes the moment he heard his remark. "It is, isn't it?"

She released another sigh, feeling her energy drain more the longer she exhausts her time talking to the one companion she’s had since eight in the morning. It’s really at times like these where she wishes she could go back in time and just flat out refuse her father’s request. Then again, she would probably just end up agreeing to it still, so there’s really not much she could do if she could make a decision that’s different to what she initially made. "Just go back to doing what you were doing with your boring and repetitive life."

"But then that would mean repeatedly trying to annoy the hell out of you." A glint appeared in his eyes. "And we both know you don't want that, do you?"

She knows that she should have just let him be and ignore him like she always does. But in this case, ignoring him just didn't seem that much of an option left, especially since she knows that the guy would never stop goading her unless he gets what he wants. An irritated sigh escaped her lips as she fully turned her body to get a good look at him and to make her irritation known.

"What do you want, Alex? Really, you're acting like a stupid kid that doesn't have anything better to do with his time." She told him in an irate manner, but the smirk on his face remained. Seeing that haughty and teasing smirk plastered on his lips only made her feel more vexed towards the guy standing near her. She doesn’t know what it is, but there’s really just something about him that always manages to piss her off more than necessary.

Not being able to fully comprehend how he's going to address his intention as peacefully as possible, he went with the one foolproof plan he had at his disposal—charming the s**t out of her. That is, if she falls for it again, just like how she did three years ago. Even with her reaction from before still on his mind and how that reaction seemed to be a positive one, right now, he's absolutely not sure about what her current reaction would be. What he is sure about is that even if it were violent or pleasant, the woman would still be able to find a way on how to make everything his fault.

And so, deciding to just wing it and to take what he can get, he leaned against the counter beside him as he gazed right back at her, trying to hide his hesitance behind the mirth floating in his piercing eyes. He shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant manner. "Just wanted to talk."

Hearing those words from anyone would have been acceptable and normal. But for those words to come out of Alexander Giovanni's mouth, now that's something that definitely left her taken aback. For as long as she's known him, he was never known to be a person who "just wanted to talk"—it was either he wanted something from you or he didn't. But something about his demeanor right now made her doubt her previous thought, like something seemed different because for all she knows, he could really be meaning the words he just said. And honestly, she has no idea what to feel about that.

She raised an eyebrow, the slight disbelief swirling in her eyes clearly palpable to Alexander. "Talk? Like actually communicating?"

"What do you think is the purpose of talking?" Alexander replied dryly.

Her bright blue eyes stared at him blankly, something that he's already used to seeing, what with it being constantly present each and every time they talk. Not to mention that that’s mostly the only look he ever receives from her, so it’s only reasonable that he would be used to it already. "Making sure that people like you know the meaning of it."

"Don't you mean people like you? Because last time I checked, you were the one who was asking whether talking was communicating." The coy grin that slipped into his lips didn't leave her attention.

A slight growl escaped her lips. "I was not asking, stupid. I was proving a point."

"A useless and dumb ass point, if you ask me."

Shaking her head in disbelief, she gave him one last roll of her eyes before looking back at the clock and sighing once she saw that it was still fifteen minutes past one in the afternoon—so much time, yet so little to do. She saw no point in continuing her talk with Alexander, really. He only babbles on and on about something so trivial and stupid that all she wants to do is cover her ears and hope that he finishes talking soon, which would definitely do wonders to her and her ears.

Waiting for the time to strike close to closing time has never made her feel more irritated than she is right now. The one thing she's wishing to happen felt impossible; almost unreal, like the probability of it happening is zero to none. She's not sure whether it's because she has nothing to do or because the only companion she has is the one person she's still getting used to—again. Either way, she still feels suffocated.

As she released a sigh and snuck a glance at the only (not busy) companion she has, she thought that maybe he's right. Maybe she does need a bit of fresh air and just someone to talk to. Spending all of her days in a bakery does tend to become quite tiring, after all, not to mention suffocating. The repetitive feeling it also brings is not great at all, so a little change here and there is definitely welcome—even if that little change of scenery involves the one guy she would much rather avoid at all costs.

Noticing the look he was getting from her, he crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow as he said, "What?"

A good thirty seconds passed before she was able to state her intention. "I can't believe I'm saying this." She muttered under her breath. She cleared her throat and looked back at him, eyes void of any emotion. "Let's take a walk?"

He honestly couldn't believe his ears. Hearing Aurora say those words to him now seems extremely...surreal in a way. All the woman ever did since he arrived was show how much she hates him and how she clearly doesn't enjoy his company. So hearing her say those words right now seems unbelievable. He has long given up on the hope that she would ever initiate a circumstance like the one he proposed to her a moment ago, but he’s glad that he still held on to that very little light that appeared in front of his eyes.

He blinked his eyes multiple times, a gesture that slowly made Aurora feel annoyed, before he was finally able to say, "What?"

"You want to take a walk, don't you?" She asked, a tinge of hesitation and doubt lacing in her voice, silently hoping that her companion wouldn't notice the slight change her voice brought—she blames it on her impulsive decision to get away from this place, even if it meant going with the person she wouldn't normally be too thrilled to interact with. A mask of indifference etched on her face as she looked at him in the eye.

He narrowed his eyes at her in a suspicious manner, his mind suddenly wondering why she changed her mind. But the moment that certain thought plagued his mind, it went as quickly as it came. He realized that he didn't really need to know the reason for her sudden change of mind. The fact that she was even considering his suggestion and his company was enough for him.

He'll take what he can get.

He'll take what she's willing to offer.

He'll take anything.

"Okay," He said cautiously. "where do you want to go?"

"I thought you had a place in mind when you asked me to take a walk with you?" She replied, eyes now narrowed at him with something close to accusatory.

"Well," He chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Not really."

"But you just mentioned taking a walk at the boardwalk not a moment ago." She deadpanned, arms crossed against her chest. She looked at him with a look in her eyes that he's more than used to, what with it being the same look he always gets from her every time he does or says something effectively stupid that just makes her want to rip her hair out in frustration.

Hearing Alexander say something close to actual loss was something that she didn't really expect considering how the guy is basically like a narcissistic and self-righteous i***t who would do anything to make the people around him view him as someone who is always confident, no matter the circumstance. For her, it's like hearing something incredibly foreign that it would probably take her a long time to comprehend the words that just came out of his mouth.

Alexander opened his mouth to utter his refute and to tell her how she's making stuff up again when he suddenly remembered that he did tell her that earlier. He's seriously losing his mind and it's all because of the one woman that just refuses to get out of his thoughts for a long time now. But then again, he's not really one to easily forget something. So maybe he did try to purposefully forget about it or he didn't. Either way won't change anything though.

A sheepish smile graced his lips, a look that threw Aurora off once again since the guy hardly does that expression. She would always hear him saying before that he would rather die than do any facial expression that would make him look less like the horrible and cold-hearted guy everyone knew. But of course, there were times that she would be the only exception and she would genuinely feel special because who wouldn't really? The guy is charming and sweet when he wants to and the moment he does that, it's just completely heartwarming.

"Right, the boardwalk then." She heard him say, bringing him back from the previous reverie she was in.

She rolled her eyes. "I have no idea how you could forget something you said not even five minutes ago."

But he didn't; not really. Maybe he's just that bored, or he's just really that desperate and curious to know if she pays attention to the things he says—still pays attention to the things he says. He was hoping that she really was because that would somehow signify that she doesn't totally ignore him despite all the things she says and her attempts to, but then there's a part of him, the rational part of him that wants him to not really care. Because really, why would he? Obviously, his feelings for the woman weren't really gone, just buried deep within his system so that he wouldn't feel her constant rejection in his attempts to try and make things go back to normal.

He knows it's just wishful thinking though. Always thoughts, never reality; not really.

Flashing her a coy grin to try and cover the real level of his happiness when he knew that she really did pay attention, he pushed himself off the counter and strode towards her, following her loud footfalls on the marble tiles. They made their way outside after telling the rest of the staff that they would only be outside whenever they needed anything and Alexander silently prayed that they wouldn't.

Being able to spend some time with Aurora alone, especially on her own will, is something that he doesn't want to be disturbed. The last few moments he was able to spend with her were all forced; fun, but forced.

And then he had to remind himself once again that this is only for the purpose of repairing their broken friendship. Not rekindling their previous romance, but rebuilding their foundation.

"I never really did ask you, but how are your parents?"

The timidness he found in her voice was something that he didn't really expect. Maybe she still has a soft spot for his parents, the still the same level of affection she had for them all those years ago. Maybe it didn't really diminish—they were like her second parents after all, what with his parents considering and treating Aurora like their own.

"They're alright. A bit bummed that they can't come back here with me, but still fine." Alexander answered, the nonchalance in his tone of voice clearly palpable.

Aurora looked at him with a confused look plastered on her face. "They're not here?" There's just something but this certain fact that she can't grasp. "Why?"

"They had a lot of things to do back in Colombia." He dug his hands deeper into his pants as they continued their slow-paced walk on the boardwalk. "So it's really no surprise that they can't come here."

She hummed slightly as she accepted his answer, her thoughts now too muddled up to actually think of anything else to say. She's not exactly sure why she's even making an effort to actually talk to him, but there's just something inside of her that wants to. A single part inside of her that actually misses talking to him, her best friend, her constant.

"So you're staying with Edward and his family?"

He nodded his head. "Wasn't really hard to convince them to let me stay there since Aunt Jenny and Uncle Henry missed seeing my face almost everyday."

A small, unwanted chuckle escaped her lips. She didn't really mean to, but hearing him say something even remotely close to a joke always made her feel happy. Like it would dawn on her that the guy she's with is someone who is more than capable of feeling emotions and expressing them and not a robot who is void of any emotion.

In almost an instant, she felt his gaze settle on her and she had to clear her throat to prevent the awkwardness to take over. If he noticed her attempt, he didn't say anything. Instead, he merely let it go and acted like she didn't just do something out of the ordinary.

"What time are you going to fetch Theo from his friend's house?" He asked, his eyebrows instantly furrowing when he heard how dry his tone of voice is. That's obviously not something that would make Aurora befriend him again. How it completely slipped off his mind though that the woman was used to his constant and unwavering coldness, he didn't really know.

"Around seven. Brittany is closing up tonight so I'm free to go early." She looked at him. "So are you."

He gave a scoff. "We're basically the owners right now you know. With you being Sally's stepdaughter and me being an extremely close family friend, it's kind of inevitable. We can actually just leave now if we wanted to."

Maybe it's because of how normal and familiar everything felt, but a genuine laugh escaped her lips then—and she didn't even bother trying to cover up what she just did. A small smirk appeared on her face then as she took in his words. "You know, it's horrible to abuse your power."

"I know, but abusing our power works in our favor."

"It always works that way. Why do you think some people constantly abuse their powers?"

"To have something to do?"

A harsh slap to the back of his skull was something that he wasn't expecting to get. "Don't be an idiot." She said in a clipped tone.

He rubbed the back of his head as he glared at her, but she ignored it all—and he knows because why wouldn't he? She may have changed, but she's still as predictable as she was before. "There really was no need for you to give me a slap on the head."

She shrugged, feeling the breeze of the wind graze against her skin. "It might do you some good. A little jiggle to the head might help your brain become less muddled."

Despite the odd circumstance they were in, Alexander still felt amused by the whole thing. All of the stuff they did felt...normal. Almost like how it was three years ago, right before he left for Colombia. He knows that he's somehow deluding himself again, but what could he do? There's nothing wrong with clinging to a little bit of hope, is there?

"My brain is not 'muddled', as you so eloquently put it." The quiet bustling of the people around the boardwalk somehow seemed to make everything nice—familiar; natural. He could almost cry because of how wonderful everything felt.

A small scoff escaped her lips. "Extremely debatable." She answered. He scowled. "Are you hungry or something?"

"We just ate our lunch. Please do try and not infect me with your abnormal cravings for food."

Something close to embarrassment and mirth glowed in her ocean-like eyes and before he could fully comprehend what's happening, Aurora's harsh slap on his arm was already something he wasn't able to avoid.

"You are such a mindless, crass i***t!" She screamed, the irritation in her voice impossible to miss.

He rolled his eyes. Here we go again. "Thank you for the extremely kind observation. I didn't know you kept tabs on me now."

Alright, so goading Aurora isn't the best way to become her friend. Doing just that just seemed to be second nature to him, almost like an instinctive and receptive feeling. He's not exactly sure why, but he felt like his mouth had a mind of its own.

Embarrassment and mirth was now replaced by a slow, burning anger. The fire in her eyes glowed more than usual and he's wondering if it's because of his indirect insult to her or his tactless comment—it felt like both. "I don't keep tabs on you! Why would I? You have a boring life. Keeping your life in records would just be a tiresome and repetitive action."

He had to give it to her. She always was a witty woman. If there is ever one person he would choose to have a banter with, it would be her. 

Her, her, her. 

Always her.