The Alpha's Secret Mate

chapter 18

How was he so calm about it?

The day Carter found out about my panic attacks, he laughed at me—said I had completely lost my mind. It hurt more than I ever expected… but I let it go, telling myself at least he hadn’t walked away.

I shook my head, pushing the memory aside.

“I’m really… really sorry,” I whispered. “It won’t happen again. I promise.”

I couldn’t burden him with my problems. Not again.

“luana, would you like to see our winter garden?”

His question caught me off guard. Slowly, I lifted my head to look at him. There was no trace of annoyance or mockery on his face—only calm sincerity.

“The winter garden?” I repeated softly.

“Yes.” He stood and extended his hand toward me. “Come on. I think you’ll like it.”

Was he trying to make me feel better?

My chest tightened at the thought.

I placed my hand in his, letting him lead me outside the mansion. The cold air bit into my skin like tiny needles, sharp and unforgiving, even through my sweater.

“Your coat is too thin for this weather,” he said, his gaze falling on my worn black wool sweater.

Heat crept up my cheeks.

I didn’t want to admit it was the only one I had.

“Um… I didn’t know I’d be coming north,” I said with a small, nervous smile.

“I see… here.”

Without hesitation, he slipped off his coat and draped it over my shoulders.

“This should help for now.”

The warmth settled around me instantly—soft, steady, and unfamiliar.

And for the first time in a while… I didn’t feel so cold.

I almost refused.

The word hovered on my lips, fragile and uncertain. He had already lent me his coat twice—once back at the car—and I knew I shouldn’t take more from him. But the moment the cold brushed against me again, I pulled the heavy coat tighter around my shoulders, surrendering to its warmth.

“But what about you, Alpha?” I asked softly.

A slow smirk curved his lips, the kind that carried secrets. “Drake keeps me warm.”

Drake.

The name lingered in my mind. His wolf. I found myself wondering what Drake looked like—whether his eyes were as intense as Kyle’s, whether his presence felt just as overwhelming.

I’d heard stories. Wolves could share their warmth with their human halves, pouring heat into them like an invisible flame.

We turned left from the manor’s entrance, our footsteps echoing faintly. After a few quiet turns, something extraordinary came into view.

A dome.

Massive. Glass. Gleaming faintly under the pale light. It stood at the heart of a perfectly manicured lawn, guarded by tall hedges that whispered in the breeze.

Kyle didn’t hesitate. He swung the glass door open and stepped inside.

I followed.

His scent clung faintly to the coat wrapped around me—clean, crisp, like autumn caught in a single breath. It settled my nerves in a way I didn’t quite understand.

Then I looked up—

—and forgot how to breathe.

The conservatory was breathtaking. Glass walls stretched endlessly, curving into a high ceiling that captured the light and softened it. Lanterns hung delicately above us, shaped like birdcages, glowing with a warm, golden hue. Plants of every kind filled the space—lush, vibrant, alive.

It felt… safe. Warm. Like stepping into a different world.

Across from me, a cozy seating area beckoned. Soft cushions. Quiet corners. I could already picture myself there—curled up with a book, a steaming mug of hot chocolate in my hands, watching snow settle gently over distant pine trees.

“Wow…” The word slipped out before I could stop it. “This is… incredible.”

My eyes traced the rows of flowers and wild plants, each one thriving as if winter didn’t exist.

“How do they even survive here?” I murmured. “Shouldn’t they need sunlight… warmth?”

Blackwood was cold. Too cold for this kind of life.

And yet—everything here flourished.

Kyle smiled, as though he’d been waiting for that question. “There’s magic here,” he said. “Something that keeps this place warm… keeps it alive.”

His voice softened. “Our fifth-generation Luna—my grandmother—created it. She wanted a place to escape. A place to breathe.”

He moved toward a large shelf lined with books, his fingers brushing along their spines with quiet familiarity.

“She loved reading,” he added. “So she built herself a library too.”

He glanced back at me, eyes glinting with quiet mischief. “Want to see something interesting?”

Curiosity tugged at me. I tilted my head, giving a small nod.

Kyle reached out and pressed the spine of a blue book.

It shifted.

Slide inward.

A soft, mechanical click followed, and the entire bookshelf trembled before slowly pulling away—revealing a hidden door concealed behind it.

My breath caught.

Kyle stepped closer, gripping the golden doorknob. He twisted it twice in opposite directions.

Click.

The sound echoed softly in the stillness.

Then, with a long, creaking sigh—

the door opened.

My jaw fell open the moment I stepped inside.

The library stretched before me like a world of its own—vast, silent, and heavy with the weight of countless stories. The air smelled faintly of aged paper and polished wood, and even my breath felt too loud for a place like this.

“This is where we store our knowledge,” he said.

I barely heard him. My feet moved on their own, each step echoing softly against the wooden-paneled walls. My gaze lifted—and kept lifting. Shelves rose in endless rows, climbing up five floors, the highest disappearing into dim shadows above. Staircases wound upward like careful spirals, while tall ladders leaned against the shelves, waiting for curious hands.

Each section bore a bold sign, neatly marking the knowledge it held.

“There must be a fortune in books here,” I whispered, almost afraid my voice might disturb something sacred.

My fingers hovered over the spines, brushing them lightly, reverently.

Kyle’s smile was quiet but proud. “Not just books. Maps, artifacts, scrolls, ancient records, journals… everything here carries the effort and legacy of our ancestors.”

Something stirred inside me—a quiet, growing hunger. So much knowledge, all within reach. My fingers itched to explore, especially the sections on medicine. But hesitation crept in just as quickly.

None of this was mine.

“I should keep my hands to myself,” I murmured.

“You’re welcome to come and read here anytime you like.”

I turned sharply to him, disbelief written plainly across my face.

“With… me?” I asked silently, though no words came out.

The lantern beside him flickered softly, casting a golden glow over his features. It softened the sharpness of his jaw, traced the lines of his face, and for a moment, he didn’t seem entirely real—more like something carved to perfection.

Our eyes met.

“Do you like it?” he asked, his voice low, almost careful.

A strange warmth spread through me, sudden and unfamiliar. It slipped down my spines 80like a quiet shiver, leaving me momentarily unsteady. Only then did I realize—I had been staring.

“I love it,” I said quickly, my voice softer than I intended. “Thank you for showing it to me… Alpha.”

His expression shifted, amusement flickering in his eyes. “I told you not to be so formal.”

I swallowed.

“You can give me a nickname,” he added, his tone gentler now. “If that makes it easier.”

“A nickname?” I repeated, unsure.

His smile deepened, slow and knowing. “Everyone calls me Kyle. You can call me that…” He paused, his gaze holding mine just a second longer than necessary. “…unless you’d rather choose something else.”

He stepped closer, the distance between us dissolving in a single breath. Warmth brushed against my ear as his voice dropped low, almost teasing.

“Or…” he murmured, “you could call me something more personal.”

My breath caught. My fingers tightened unconsciously against the edge of his coat as a strange heat spread through me—unfamiliar, unsettling. It curled low in my stomach, making it hard to think, harder to look away.

When I finally lifted my gaze to meet him, the intensity in his eyes struck me still.

He wasn’t the man I had imagined.

There was a gentleness in him, yes—but beneath it, something deeper. Stronger. A quiet force that felt almost untamed. It lingered in the way he stood, the way he watched me, as though he could unravel me without even trying.

And that terrified me.

Because a part of me wasn’t sure I would resist.

There was something in his grey eyes—something unspoken—that seemed to carry entire stories within them. Emotions he didn’t voice, yet didn’t hide either. And as I looked at him, I felt something inside me shift… a soft breaking, or maybe the beginning of something new.

A reluctance to remain tied to the past.

“Kyle is good,” I said quietly, his name rolling off my tongue with surprising ease.

It lingered there, warm and sweet, settling somewhere deeper than I expected.

We walked out of the conservatory together, and I found myself stealing glances at him when he wasn’t looking. There was a quiet confidence in the way he moved—each step deliberate, controlled. Like a panther in motion.

People called him dangerous.

A beast.

And yet, all he had shown me was kindness.

It didn’t make sense.

I had seen what he was capable of—I knew the kind of power he held. So why was he different with me? Why did he choose gentleness when he had every reason not to?

The questions followed me, growing louder with every step.

Did he have a reason? A hidden motive?

Or was there something I wasn’t seeing yet?

Either way, I wanted to understand him.

And I would.

The rest of the day slipped past in a blur, thoughts of him weaving endlessly through my mind. By the time night fell and darkness settled over the manor, I found myself restless.

Sleep felt impossible.

I changed into my nightdress and wandered through the quiet corridors, the dim lights casting long shadows along the walls. My thoughts refused to settle, circling the same questions over and over.

As I walked, one question pressed harder than the rest:

What place did I truly have here?

As his wife… what was I meant to be?

My knowledge felt small compared to the weight of it all. The responsibilities, the expectations—the complexity of his world—it was all unfamiliar territory.

And I wasn’t sure yet where I fit within it.