Underrhelm

Chapter 16

KIVA

As we got off the elevator on the ground level V grabbed my arm gently and said, "I think we should get cleaned up." He took a breath and pointed a door that read 66.

"This is uh my apartment." she said blushing. I looked at his and laughed, taking him by surprise.

"Wow you really do got it bad for her." I chuckled.

"Don't tell her." he pleaded. I smiled and replied, "I won't, but you owe me."

We entered his apartment and it smelled like balls and sweat. It looked depressing too. Boxes and garbage were his choice of décor.

He pointed to his bathroom and walked off. I washed my face in his sink and stared at myself in the mirror.

"I can't believe I told him." I said to myself. The last thing Rayna said bouncing off the walls of my skull, " If you betray me, it will cost you your life." My stomach begun to turn. I managed to get myself together and exit the bathroom. V was pulling a s**t over his head when I saw a cross hatch pattern of scars on his back but I quickly looked away.

"It occurred to me that Rayna probably put you under an oath if you told anyone." he said.

"He knows her so well, if she'd just let him in I bet he'd be good for her." I thought to myself.

"Don't worry about me, I knew the price when I told you." I replied.

"Still don't go getting killed on my account. I'll talk to her." he said with a shiver of fear.

We went back to work without saying a word to anyone about what happened. The night went on like usual. We closed up and got everyone settled in. V decided he would check on Ray when he got home but that he would call me after to fill me in. I was a bit relieved I didn't have to face my death so soon. In the event that she killed me or fired me, I stayed with the gang at Umbra like it was last night.

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VALENTINE

My heart felt heaving in my chest as I walked home. I wanted to take longer getting there as I knew this was going to be a bloody fight. "What do I even say? Or should I say nothing at all?" I asked myself. Too quickly was at the apartment swallowing my dread. I hesitated before getting on the elevator. When I arrived at her door my heart began to race. It wasn't like I didn't love her anymore. I wanted to tell her that I loved her in spite of what she thought were flaws.

I knocked on the door stone faced and she answered. She stared at me like she had no life left in her to fight. She turned and walked away but left the door open. I timidly entered and closed the door before sitting quietly next to her. We sat in silence and became harder and harder to breath. I didn't know how to start, I didn't want to upset her or set her off.

"Do you know what it's like?" she asked abruptly.

"Do I know what what is like?" I replied.

"To hate everything that you are and everything that you've done?" she added.

"I do." I answered, the scars on my back burning. She stood up and faced away from me. Her arms were wrapped around herself as if to physically keep herself from falling apart.

"And like the gods are punishing you for what you've done, the one person you managed to fall in love with, despite being utterly broken, finds out your disgusting secret." she exhaled. My mouth fell open when she said those words to me, I wanted to scream. She turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "And as if he is blatantly defying the gods, he tells you it's okay." Before I could finish my breath she said through gritted teeth, "I won't let it be okay V. I WON'T LET ANYONE TELL ME IT'S OKAY!"

What happened next I had no control over. I shot up, grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into me. At the same time I pushed into her, kissing her with everything I had. I then turned her away from me and wrapped my arms around her. She struggled to get free and cried, "No." I brought my mouth to her ear and whispered,

"You don't get to decide who thinks it's okay and who loves you anyway Ray. You don't get to remove those feelings from anyone because they aren't yours. Not Ember, not Kiva not....me."

I did it, I told her I loved her. I held on tight fearing I would never see her again if I let go.

Without warning she collapsed in my arms, unconscious and barely breathing.