I adopt a solemn tone and try to sound as contrite as possible. “I’m sorry about that too. I’m very, truly, sincerely, utterly, and completely sorry—”
“Oh, for God’s sake, stop talking,” she interrupts crossly. “I accept your terrible apologies.” She sighs and changes the subject. “Have you eaten yet? I was thinking of doing brunch at Booger’s.”
“Actually, I was planning on running some errands. And, um…I wanted to ask you where someone lives.”
“Someone?” she repeats, laughing. “Gee, I wonder who it could be?”
“Please don’t bust my balls.”
“Sorry, that’s what ballbusters do. Have you heard from Theo since we last talked?”
When I don’t respond fast enough, Suzanne shrieks. “Wait—have you slept with him?”
It’s my turn to sound cross. “Why does your brain go right there? Seriously, you
