Shadow & Light

Chapter 3

Two hours had passed of me sitting on that beanbag chair in every position imaginable–at one point reading with my feet in the air and head resting on the less-than-clean wooden floors. I had pain in places I shouldn't and my earlier bath which alleviated the aching in my muscles was long forgotten. Each ache from training had come back full force, joined by new aches from sitting too long.

The more I read the more confused I got though, so the aches were the least of my problems–this book brought me more questions than it did answers. The way the Dark Kingdom or Dark Nation was talked about didn't seem like it was fictional at all. But that was impossible. I had been to the walls of the kingdom, visited the outskirts where my tiny blanket-wrapped body was found as a baby more times than I could count. There was no way out of this kingdom. Everyone said that I had just appeared in this realm as an infant but I never fully believed that. How could a three-month-old simply appear anywhere? I had poked and prodded without result at the dimensional wall that we were all told separated us from other dimensions, like we were a little floating island in the cosmos with other floating islands surrounding us. That is how I imagined it anyway.

Some other old books I pulled from the shelves suggested that centuries ago we had an open channel at our border through which we could travel to the human realm. Other than that we were completely alone. Though now I had doubts. Those books had black lines marring almost every page, words so blotted out that there was no way to make out what they spoke of. It was the same for every book that detailed our kingdom's history. Like someone was picking and choosing what we needed to know. But I wanted to know all of it. I needed to find some way to read those lines–read what someone clearly didn't want anyone to know.

This book detailed a kingdom separated from us by a vast forest, a kingdom which housed other faeries with dangerous magic, magic that could kill in an instant. These faeries were ones of nightmares–evil, conniving, and to be avoided at any cost. This piqued my interest even further since that's how I had been described my whole life. Again maybe this was all fiction–an elaborate novel written by some imaginative faerie. Though the book didn't have a listed author. That was strange for a fiction novel. The fae in this kingdom didn’t have the capacity for such imaginative writing. What was hard for me to ignore was the nagging feeling that these fictional faeries from this fictional kingdom sounded so much like me–how I had been described my whole life. The date on this book told me it was written over thirty years ago–more than ten years before my birth and before anyone in this kingdom had ever seen a faerie like me.

My eyes began to burn and water, which had me realizing that I hadn't been blinking very much through this entire reading I had been doing. I took that as my cue to put the book down and squeeze my eyes shut. When I opened them again Judy stood staring down at me in my funny reading angle. She looked like she was upside down and it made me giggle.

"When did you learn to walk on the ceiling Mrs. Tillett?" I jokingly asked as I pulled myself up from the position that would have me feeling every vertebrae in my back the next day.

"I am a woman of many tricks dear. Now you need to go home and get some rest. It's past midnight and you had a long day of training." She responded with that warm smile.

"I know I need to go but I just can't wrap my head around this book; it's just so confusing. I mean we are the only fae to exist, but this book talks of a whole other kingdom. Judy their magic... it sounds just like-" I couldn't finish that sentence, but she knew what I was trying to say, and her warm expression faded into a thoughtful frown. I began collecting the other history books that were scattered on the hardwood around me, and Judy bent down to help.

"I'm not sure what to tell you dear, that sounds very strange."

"I know! What's worse is all of these books have huge parts blacked out, so even if they have the answers I'm looking for, I wouldn't know."

"Well, that may be something you should talk to the old librarian about. I can give you her address. I must warn you though, her memory may not be that great. She is eighty-one years old after all but she may have some answers for you." Mrs. Tillett spoke as she stood, five large books gathered in her arms, and we headed to the history section to put everything away.

"Mrs. Tillett, do you think I could take a few of these books home with me? I would love to keep reading. I have read the Dark Kingdom book cover to cover but I feel like I could get some more answers in the morning when I’m not so tired. I’ll go see the old librarian in the morning and if I show her this it could help jog her memory."

"That sounds like a wonderful plan so you keep it as long as you need"

"Thank you Mrs. Tillett." I gave her a tight hug once we finished putting the last of the books away and we walked towards the front of the library. Once at the checkout desk Judy pulled out a pad of paper, wrote down what looked to be an address, and handed the paper to me.

"This is where the old librarian lives, I am pretty sure her name is Catherine."

"Thank you so much Judy" I watched as Judy went around the library setting little things into place and turning off lights, then we walked together to the door. Once outside I spotted Judy's husband John. Mrs. Tillett must have spotted him too because she made haste to lock the doors, then turned and jogged up to him to give him a hug and a kiss.

"Walk home safe Alina!" Judy called while her husband waved at me, and we both turned to go our separate ways.

As I started the painfully long walk to my cottage, I took in my surroundings. The air smelled crisp and clean, the scent of early spring and newly sprouting grass clung to the air. It was growing warmer by the day here with it being the middle of March. There were sounds of crickets chirping and frogs croaking created a little spring symphony but otherwise the world was still.

My walk home flew by rather fast, spent mostly in my head putting together the different pieces of history I could gather and what I remember of Mrs. Tillett's stories. So far none of it was helpful at all, but the hope that came from talking to the old librarian tomorrow and possibly getting answers put a spring in my step.

When the walk was over I officially felt like I would have to lie down in my front hall and never move again. But I managed to get in the house, checking everything was just as it should be, windows and doors locked, no danger and nothing strange. I could never be too careful. I managed to trudge down the hall to my room, each step feeling like walking through quicksand. I plopped my satchel of books on a little stool in my room and tucked the beautiful Dark Kingdom history book into the drawer in my nightstand.

In the bathroom I did my nighttime routine and debated showering, but realized I would probably just fall asleep. Instead I opted to skip that and put on my warm fleece pajamas, slipped into my cozy bed, and passed out.

~~~~

The morning light and chirping birds outside woke me from a very peaceful sleep and I groaned, shoving a pillow over my head to try to block out the sound and lights. I really needed better curtains, these let so much light in. I would close my eyes again, just for a second.

I was not sure how long I passed out for again, but eventually woke up and ambled my way to the kitchen to make myself some bacon and eggs. I had become a pretty skilled cook over the years, and I could make myself a few breakfast items, but dinner was where I really thrived. I had come up with so many recipes since I was a teenager, going out to the market and finding different foods each week and seeing what I could create with them.

I hummed and shuffled my feet as I placed the bacon in the pan, searing it to perfection, then moved on and made some delicious-looking scrambled eggs that mixed with the smell of the bacon had my stomach gnawing at itself. I grabbed the bag of bread off the counter and popped a couple of pieces into the toaster, then when I heard they were done buttered each piece and assembled my plate with the toast, eggs, and bacon.

That meal was devoured way too quickly, along with a giant glass of orange juice. I had to go talk to the woman who used to own the library, and still needed to get ready to go, then I had to plan my training schedule for the intermediate teen group when I got back home. This would be a busy day.

I quickly washed my plate, glass, and anything I cooked with since I knew I would have no energy to clean when I got home, and then ran to my room to hop in a quick shower. That shower was heavenly, and I wished I could stay there forever, but alas I had things to do. Once I had finished the rest of my morning routine I went into my closet to figure out what to wear. Our kingdom didn't get much cold weather throughout the year, dropping to around ten degrees in the November to February months before picking back up and peaking at thirty degrees in the summer months. Since spring had finally begun and the weather was picking up I opted for a nice pair of slim light-wash jeans, a nice white tee with a V-shaped neckline, and my mint green cardigan.

I let my pin straight thick black hair air dry down my back and as usual, left my face without makeup. I know a lot of girls loved wearing makeup but I hated the feeling of unnecessary product on my face. I had also learned in my tween years that makeup would cause a huge breakout for me, so the single day of beauty was not worth a week of trying to get my face back to normal. Despite the natural beauty of fae we were unfortunately not immune to the joy that puberty brought, much similar to what I had read about humans. Though typically by the time we hit nineteen to twenty years of age any hint of acne and skin issues vanished and we reached our full splendor.

I grabbed the book about the Dark Kingdom from inside my bedside table and picked up the other few history books I had taken out last night, stuffing them all in my satchel and heading out the door.

The two to three hours it took me to walk to the main hub of our kingdom were painfully difficult some days, but add several pounds of books strapped to my back and well... let's just say I was hating the location of my cottage even more at that moment.

Once I finally made it to the town, I looked around for signs that could direct me to the old librarian's house. There was never much noise about our kingdom. Most people walked and had quiet conversation, but overall the fae were pretty devoid of joy. No festivals, no music–nothing like what I read the humans sometimes had. Humans were celebratory creatures, constantly in search of something to rejoice over. I had read that they even had random holidays for everything, such as national snake day or national pancake day. A day celebrating that doughy goodness didn't sound too bad to me. Fae were just more focused I guessed. The get stuff done kind of people. Maybe some festivals and celebrations would make half of them less miserable.

I finally spotted the sign I was looking for and followed the path it pointed to, passing many houses on the way. A few people looked at me warily but I didn't mind that much today, it was to be expected anyways. I hadn't left my cottage much if it wasn't for supplies, food, clothes, or to train. Certainly didn't wander around the quaint neighborhoods. Just then I saw the numbers 2455 scrawled in cursive on the beautiful wooden cottage, outer walls painted an eggshell white.

Making my way up to the oak door I knocked quickly and waited. When the door opened an older looking woman answered. I was pretty sure she was much older than she appeared, with fae aging maybe even into her 90s or hundreds–though she appeared to only look in her early sixties. The woman who I recalled was named Catherine looked less than pleased to see me, but I was on a mission.

"Hello, my name is Alina, and I help the current librarian Mrs. Tillett. I understand you were the former librarian, and I came across some interesting things in the history section that I was hoping to ask you about."

Catherine's face went from annoyed to shocked to pleased in the matter of a few moments. I guess not many people, especially none my age, ever really asked her about history facts.

"I guess that would be okay, come in." Catherine spoke warily, but I could see the excitement in her at the notion of getting to answer the questions of a curious mind, so she opened the door and gestured for me to come inside.

Sitting at the table with a freshly brewed cup of strawberry tea I smiled at the lady across from me, despite the obvious distrust glinting in her eyes. I'm sure she has heard rumors about me but that didn't matter, I was just grateful I was let in.

"Ask your questions." Straight to the point.

"Alright so as I said I heard you were the librarian before Mrs. Tillett right?" When she nodded I continued, "Someone found this book in the library tucked behind the history shelf, it must have been there for years and years, it looks so old. It has stories about a different kingdom, one with a special type of fae...fae like me. It also talks about other things–that we share a border, it's a huge kingdom, land one and a half times the size of ours, their population dwarfing ours, and so much more."

I slid the book across the table to Catherine and as she picked it up and began reading I saw that she was just as confused as I was. I watched any hope I had of clarity slip through the cracks.

"Alina I have never seen this book before...but this must be fiction not fantasy; some delusional writer making up a world outside our own. We are the only kingdom of fae.” Catherine slid the book back to me with a shake of her head.

"Alright.” I spoke dejectedly. “So I have a few other history books. I was wondering if you know anything about the dark lines covering many of the pages and paragraphs?"

Catherine picked up the books and flipped through each one, studying the areas I mentioned.

"As far as I know these books have always been like that. I was the librarian for a long time before Judy took over and never recall a time when they weren't."

I spent the next fifteen minutes asking Katherine a multitude of questions, all of which had a variation of answers that mirrored each other. It was either "I don't know", "I've never heard of this before", or something along those lines.

My frustration rose, not at Catherine, more so at the shroud of mystery that seemed to surround the history of our little kingdom. I knew there was more to the story. How could so many pages and words be missing yet no one batted an eye? I guessed no one cared much about the history of our kingdom anyways. I found myself baffled for seemingly the millionth time by the complicity of my fellow fae. Why was I the only one who seemed to care about this? Maybe if I showed other people this book and the blacked out history books they would care too. The fatuous thought was almost laughable. These people didn't even like me so there was no way they would want to hear me talk about any of this, would most likely laugh me off and call me crazy.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Catherine broke my distracted thoughts after I had been silent for a while.

I sighed, shook my head no, and gathered my history books, feeling dejected and disappointed.

"Thank you for your time Catherine, I'm sorry for the bother." We stood, pushing back our chairs and stepping away from the table and she walked me to the door.

"No trouble Alina, take care of yourself."

The door closed in my face and I turned around, my heavy satchel slung over my shoulder once more and ready to start the long walk back to my cottage.