To Love A Duke

Dear Penelope

Song Recommendation: Circles by post Malone

A lady must not comment on the s****l liaisons of a gentleman, Tis simply unheard of!

With the servants busy serving the meal of cold beef and roasted potatoes and this maddening man who made her curse and flinch and flush all at once sat across from her staring at her ravenously, she felt like running away again but he was trying to make conversation so she would be the dutiful wife and make conversation too,while they ate

“I hope you have found your stay at the castle so far pleasant enough”

“If you consider being ignored by one’s husband for most of the day pleasant, then by all means that term describes my stay here” he shook his head and looked at her warily “Artemis you wanted that”

“What precisely?” She asked him

“You wanted me to stay away and I did” she looked around and with no comment went back to her meal

“Artemis”

“Yes your grace” she answered him with a very full mouth and he stifled his laughter, she didn’t want to have this conversation, she knew where it led

“Considering that the Duke my husband cannot abide my presence I have indeed found other pursuits”

“And they have been fulfilling, yes?” He asked taking a sip of his wine

“Most fulfilling indeed” she said nodding and refusing to meet his gaze

“I’m glad. Artemis…” he started and she knew he would bring the conversation back to their arrangements she interrupted him

“I had a grand tour of the mansion, it’s beautiful, I and Mrs Mambles made a brief list of the few things I would like to alternate after a discussion with you of course” if he knew what she was doing he made no sign of it

“Very well, you may do as you please to the house, it yours as much as it’s mine” he spoke very gravely and she glanced at him curiously

“Thank you, I would like to explore the Estate grounds as well, perhaps sometime this week”

At that she caught his sharp look and returned it with one of her own

“Am not a prisoner here, am I ?” She asked very seriously shooting him a fierce glare

“of course not, it’s just naturally I would have to escort you and…” once again she didn’t let him finish, she didn’t need to she understood him quite well

“Oh not at all your grace I wouldn’t want to keep you from more indulging matters”

He shot her a warning glare that screamed don’t even start but she ignored it because, it had to be the truth, it had to be what had kept him away from away home all these days

He dropped his fork noisily and pushed his thick hair back with those fingers and the movement almost made her forget she was angry at him

“Artemis” he called her name softly, almost a whisper.

“Your pardon, your grace, if I have spoken out of line, I suppose we wives are not allowed to speak of such matters, merely out of curiosity how many are they?”

“What?” He looked at her genuinely shocked, perhaps a tad amused. she almost regretted the words. He signaled for the footmen and maids to be gone and they silently departed seeming glad to be free of the awkwardness.

She repeated the question like he hadn’t heard her the first time and she saw the tightening of his jaw right before he went off

“God’s blood Artemis! you wanted this! All your accusations about infidelity is a little far fetched don’t you think? Considering you keep pushing me away” he gave a half laugh that didn’t reach his eyes

“You’re so confusing, Do you know that” he said shaking his head

“ Do you want me gone? Or do you want me?” He said huskily in his deep voice, She couldn’t meet his eyes she looked down at her forgotten plate of food

“ I can’t know if you don’t tell me and I’ll be damned if I have to get on my knees and beg to f**k my wife” she looked at him at that, The word wife sending chills down her.

“You needn’t be so crude” she gasped

“And you needn’t be so vindictive” he retorted

She sighed “I..I…we don’t even know each other” and now he was making her stutter

“speak for yourself wife” he was using the wife tittle to irk her again. Where were they even going with this? Nowhere, that’s where.

“you don’t even really want me” she whispered

“I married you didn’t I?” he didn’t accept it, he didn’t deny it either, just like he didn’t deny that he had been with other women these past few weeks, he had called her accusations far fetched but not an outright lie.

“Not because you really wanted to though” he was looking at her so intensely like he saw through her, to her very soul, it made her pulse race.

He got up and made for her and suddenly the room seemed to be closing in on her she got up and made for the door

“b****y hell Artemis don’t run away, let’s talk things through, perhaps a way forward for us” he sounded exhausted of her drama, was she the drama, she couldn’t stand his seduction tonight, she had to take to her heels, because she knew she couldn’t win this fight against him, against her body, the only way she could fight him was to hate him and God knew she wanted to hate him, but her heart didn’t seem to know how to do that, never had. She turn and fled the room, not pausing to here the explicit sounds of cursing and shattering dishes. She ran to her chambers. And leaned on the door panting vigorously. Suddenly she knew what was missing in the letter to penny. She settled down to write.

“Dear Penelope

A long tale to be told, as you must have heard I am married and quite frankly miserable and it’s all so very complicated pen, at first I wanted my freedom and now? I think I want him! penny I miss you terribly and I wish you were here to tell me what to do, it’s funny how you always know what to do. I count the days until I shall see you again though I’m not sure when that will be. Oh Dearest pen Do you not find it most unfair that the heart can not hate as much as it ought? “