Chapter 9: Craving what she can't remember
1378 Words
ISABELLA'S POV
I didn’t move even after the door closed. My eyes remained fixed on it, and my heart wouldn’t stop racing.
What just happened?
He was so close to me—I could still feel his breath on my skin. He looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered. And when his lips almost touched mine, I froze. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought he’d kiss me… but he didn’t.
Instead, he kissed my forehead—soft and gentle. And that confused me more than anything.
This man—the one I used to call my big brother—now looked at me like I was something he didn’t want to break. I had always known, deep down, that he loved me as more than a sister. I saw it and felt it in every little thing he did. Sebastian had always been so good to me—so protective.
He told me we had been together before I lost my memories in the accident. And somehow, my heart and mind believed him. But still, there was this hollowness inside me—something missing. Something even Sebastian’s care and love couldn’t seem to fill.
I let out a small breath and hugged my knees closer. My thoughts were all over the place.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window. The moonlight still poured in, soft and quiet, but my mind was far from calm.
I touched my lips gently. They were still parted—maybe from shock. Or maybe, deep down, I had wanted that kiss.
A strange sensation roused inside me, especially down below. My body reacted shamelessly the moment Sebastian came close.
I lightly slapped my cheeks to shake off the heat rushing through me. This is so embarrassing. I’ve never been with a man before, so why is my body suddenly craving intimacy?
My cheeks burned even more at the thought. I quickly stood up and decided to take a cold bath—to wash away this strange, overwhelming feeling.
*****
I woke up at six in the morning and decided to go for a short run. Back in the day, I usually woke up this early for morning exercises with Selene. It used to be our daily routine. Yesterday, we already made some plans for today’s activities—so I could keep up after being gone from her life for almost two years.
I slipped on a fitted sports outfit and a pair of rubber shoes. I also strapped on my digital watch to track our jog later. I was tying my hair into a loose bun when a soft knock came at the door.
“Come in,” I called out softly.
The door opened, and Sebastian stepped in. He froze for a moment when he saw my outfit.
“You’re going out?” he asked, his eyes lingering on me.
I nodded and gave a faint smile. “Yeah. Selene’s been planning our day for a while. I also need to get back on track.”
He was quiet for a few seconds before his expression turned serious, and he walked slowly toward me.
“Bella… would you like to go back to your career?” he asked suddenly.
I was stunned by the unexpected question. I looked at him but couldn’t find an immediate answer.
Truthfully, I missed walking down the runways with confidence. But I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. Right now, I just want to spend time with them—after being gone for so long. And I think that’s what they want for me too—for now, to rest.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll think about it later. For now, I just want to be here—with all of you,” I answered sincerely.
I saw a faint flash of joy in his eyes, and my heart jolted in response.
“That would be best,” he said, nodding slowly.
Then I noticed he was already dressed in a long coat.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I won’t be around for the next few days,” he said. “I’m leaving with Dad.”
“Where to?” I asked, curiosity sparking.
“We’re going to Drakemire,” he replied, his gaze steady on mine. “There’s something we need to handle with the council over there.”
I nodded slowly. “Okay.”
This wasn’t strange to me. I had known they were wolf shifters for a long time. The head of the family, Magnus, is an Alpha. His power is equivalent to that of a king, and they control the entire state of Eldenhart. This wasn’t new in Eldenhart too—shifters and humans mingled like it had always been normal. In this generation, the world treats the paranormal and humans equally.
Sebastian is next in line to inherit the throne. And I believe he’ll do it well—he’s a strong Alpha, just like his father.
For a second, silence fell between us. He didn’t move, and neither did I.
I could feel his burning gaze on me, and it always made my heart race wildly. His stare held a longing—maybe for me, or maybe for something else.
But I wasn’t ready yet. Perhaps something had already happened between us in the past, but I couldn’t remember. And that was what created a barrier between us. I was just glad that he fully understood me and respected my space, as he always had.
“I just wanted to tell you myself,” he said quietly after the long silence. “I didn’t want you to wake up and find me gone.”
I smiled a little. “Thank you, Bastian.”
He took a step closer, then stopped again. His brows furrowed, like he was torn between staying and leaving.
“I don’t know how long we’ll be gone,” he continued. “But I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
I didn’t know why, but something in my chest tightened. I should’ve been used to people coming and going, but it always felt different with him.
He looked at me for a long time, his expression softer than I’d ever seen it.
“You’ll be alright?” he asked, his tone full of concern.
“I’ll be fine,” I replied softly. “Mom and Selene are here. I’m pretty sure our days ahead will be much better.”
He nodded, but it still didn’t seem to ease him.
“I just…” He exhaled and took another slow step forward. “If there’s anything you need—anything—you ask them. Or wait for me. I’ll come back right away.”
“I know,” I assured him.
I watched as his hand reached up, like he was going to touch me, but it hovered in the air between us.
Then he finally brushed a strand of hair from my face. His fingers were warm against my skin. My heart jumped a little, but I didn’t move.
His eyes fell to my lips for a split second. I saw it—and felt it too.
I blinked up at him, my heart racing wildly.
Then he looked away, his jaw tight, and stepped back again.
“Take care of yourself, Bella,” he said gently. “I’ll miss you.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. But when he was about to turn away, I subconsciously called out to him.
“Bastian,” I uttered.
He turned back to me—seemingly confused.
I stepped closer to him—tiptoeing a little—and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
He was stunned for a second, and my cheeks burned with embarrassment.
“You take care as well,” I said, my voice tinged with embarrassment.
A faint smile tugged at his lips. He looked at me for a long moment before turning away and leaving.
The door clicked softly behind him, but my chest was still rising and falling too fast.
I touched my cheek, my heart still racing.
I didn’t know what this feeling was. But it stayed with me long after he was gone.
- Writer
