The L Word (Lust or Love)

Chapter Eleven

It felt foreign and different when his name was whispered from Siara's mouth. She felt hurt just by mentioned his name, but she know for sure she couldn't past this nightmare easily. Her heartbeat was beating fast. She never expected to saw Julian again, not after two months and half without him. She cuts all her contact with him hoping she would move on from him. And Siara thought she did.

But now Julian appeared in front of her eyes, looking good as ever, fresh and happy. She frowned now. Why in the hell he was felt happy?

And why she felt she missed him? It shouldn't happened.

"Siara." Julian called her name again.

Before Siara could answered him, Bianca opened her mouth, "What are you doing in here you prick?"

Julian puts his hand on surrender mode, "Whoa, take it easy girl. I just thought I should said hello when I saw you two in here. Don't want to be rude now, won't we?"

"Well, you already said hello, now f**k off." Bianca spat.

"Feisty, aren't you?" Julian chuckled lightly, then turned his gaze to Siara, "I just want to talk to her."

"There's nothing to talk about I guess. We're done, Julian." Siara said softly.

Siara don't know why but she could no longer felt angry towards Julian. Deep inside her, she know, she still love him. Even just a tiny bit. But those little feeling start to shaken her wall. The wall she so hard to build just to kept her heart from heart broken and yet with one look from Julian's tantalizing gaze, she felt melt by his stare.

It felt like all the heart ache he was gave it to her was no more. She know she shouldn't felt like this. She know she has to be stronger but it was hard when you were gave the one you love all of yours, heart, mind, body and soul. Julian was everything to Siara before, and she felt he still are.

"Don't be like this, Siara. I miss you."

Those three words. The three words she wanted to heard from him. The wall she build was crumbled now. "I-I should go. I'm sorry."

Siara abruptly stood up from her chair and ran past Julian without bothering to glance again. She felt all of her defense crumble beneath her. One tear, fell to her cheek. She couldn't do this. She couldn't move on from Julian. She just know it. She shrieked when she felt a hand tug harshly on her. Siara turned her head to saw Julian ran after her. His face frowning when he saw tears ran down to her face.

"Siara, don't go. Let me explain everything to you." He told her.

Siara just hid her face with her long hair, don't want to saw Julian's face. She felt embarrassed with Julian, knowing he still has such a huge affect on her.

"Look ,I'm sorry. I know I hurt you, Siara, but please let me explain." Julian said.

She shook her head hard, "Just go away, Julian."

He took both of her hands, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hurt you. I realize now, only you who truly are love me. Only you who's willingly to sacrifice everything for me. Give me a chance, Siara. Come back to me."

Siara jerk her head to looked at Julian. Her eyes widened by his words.

He did not just say that.

"What?" Siara look at him disbelief.

"I'm sor-"

"No!" She shouted.

Julian shocked by her sudden burst. But still he was not letting her hand go.

"I had enough with your excuses, Julian. I had enough with your sorry. And honestly I had enough for loving you. I once did love you with all my heart, but now I'm not anymore. I just want you out from my life..."

She sucked a deep breath. Her eyes opened and stared at him with so determination. Her eyes full of rage.

"Forever." She completed the sentence.

Julian's tightened his grip on her hands. He doesn't want to let her go. He know he just couldn't. He already lost so much without her. Julian realized Siara was nothing but pure and good. He knows when he left her with someone, in that moment, there was no one else who could love him like Siara. Not even his new girlfriend. He met her now after two months and half without her touch and her loving embrace. And this time, he wouldn't ever let her go.

Julian shook his head, "No, I don't want to let you again, Siara. Not ever."

"It's too late, Julian. Let me go." Her voice was deeper and held so much meaning. She stop crying now.

"No!!" He roared made Siara flinch, "I will not let you go, Siara! You have to stay with me! You have to, kitten!"

In the past, she would love him calling her pet name. But this time, it disgust her. With force she tried to free her hands from his grip. It was hard because Julian's strength has much more power than her but she needed to escape and never saw him again.

"Let me go, Julian!" Siara shouted once more.

"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER!!"

Siara gasped when some figure she know punched Julian right in his face. She put both of her hand in her mouth, shocked by what was happened in front of her eyes. Julian was lying on the ground. His nose was bleeding, and his cheek swollen. By tomorrow there will be a nasty bruise on his face. Siara winced, she just know it must be hurt for Julian. But she doesn't want to pity him. He does not deserved that, not from Siara.

"Don't you ever lay a f*****g finger on her!" Andrew shouted.

With that, he took Siara hands and took her away from Julian with fast stride. Siara felt she was running fast when Andrew just walked casually, away from Julian. Her breath was panting hard. And Andrew's tight grip was not helping her either. When she almost trip from running, Andrew's hand fly up to her body to save her. He frowning.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't manhandled you like that." His voice broken.

"No," She replied softly, catched her breath, "It's not your fault. In fact... I should said thank you for saving me."

"Your welcome, Siara. My car just near from here. I can take you home of you like." He scratch his back neck.

She nodded, "Okay, I just call my friend and tell her I'm going home with you."

Andrew nodded his head and walked first to the parking lot. Siara followed him while she called Bianca and told her what was happening to her and to Julian. Both Siara and Bianca felt relieved when Andrew was there to save her. She doesn't know what would happened when he wasn't came in time. When they reached his car, Andrew took out his car key and press the unlock button. He opened the passenger door for Siara like a gentlemen he was. Then he stride to his seat in the driver. He asked her address and input it on his gps device.

Silence attacked them when Andrew drive his car out from shopping mall. He doesn't know how to asked her and to her dismay, she doesn't want to answered all about Julian. At least not for now. As ten minutes passed by and Jakarta's traffic jam by this hour, surely he has nothing but to asked her to start the conversation.

"Who was that?" Andrew asked.

So much for not wanting to talk about Julian, she thought.

"No one." She mumbled low.

His one eyebrow shot up, "Really, Siara? That's your answer?"

She sighed, "I-I don't really want to talk about it."

Andrew silence a bit before he opened his mouth again, "Is he was the reason about your trip to Bali?"

"What?" She shrieked.

"Mr. Xavier told me." He assured her.

"He told you.... everything?"

Even in the dim light, she knew Andrew was smirked to her, "Oh, believe me, he's not leaving any detail."

Siara's cheek began to heat up, she felt embarrassed.

"From the moment you and Mr. Xavier met, to the countless of s*x both of you had until this afternoon. And let me tell you Siara, when he told me everything about how nice you are in bed, it was already making me hard."

And with that, Siara felt shiver down on her spine by Andrew answered.