The L Word (Lust or Love)

Chapter Fifteen

Siara let out satisfied sigh as she looked through the car window. Her heart was racing as the car approached to her exact destination. There's no going back, her mind said and it was true. She had to convinced the hard way to the man beside her now. She had to told Jonathan it was fine and it was safe for her to meet Nick again, of course with Jonathan tagged along with her. That was his term in order for Siara to met with her boss. The man doesn't trust Nick again this time. To Siara, she was more than glad if Jonathan could come beside her, gave her moral support. Even without his term, she surely asked the man as well.

Siara got out from her daydreaming as she felt Jonathan squeezed her hand. He doesn't let go his grip since they inside his car along with Andrew drove them to the Brentley building. Siara averted her gaze to the man beside her, smiled to him.

"You sure it's okay? You can back out you know." Jonathan said.

She nodded, "Positive."

"He hurt you." He stated.

"And I need an explanation, Jonathan. I thought you agreed with this." She tugged her hand to let out from his grip.

But he reached her again, "And I did, Siara. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

She casted her beautiful smile. It made Jonathan hard on his groin. Damn, even her smile made her wanted to took her right now. He could never got enough of her. Her innocence and the way she was in bed in sexiness. It was drive him crazy.

"I'll be fine, Jonathan. You're with me, I feel safe with you around." She glanced to Andrew in the driver seat, "And of course Andrew too."

"That's Mr. Grey for you." Jonathan growled.

Siara raised her eyebrow, "Now is not the time to be possessive, Jonathan."

He leaned closer to her face. His breath fanned to her, so does his manly scent.

"I can do f*****g whatever I want to do to you."

With that he claimed her plump, pink lips. Siara never going to admitted to him but she loved it his possessiveness. His demanding tone, his dominating way but still tried to be gentle, his jealousy, it was a turn on for her. She felt her core clenched in excitement. He deepened his kiss to her, Siara let out a moaned. His low groaned only made her want more of him. He broke off their kiss. Their forehead was met as he stared right through her eyes.

"Later, sweetheart. We're gonna finish it after this." Jonathan smirked. Siara pouted her plump lips.

"We're here." Andrew informed them both.

He kissed her knuckle, "You ready my goddess?"

She took a deep breath and nodded her head. They both got out from the car. Siara walked first entering the building then Jonathan followed her from behind. His prime job now was to take care of her. He should be her moral support because he know the truth that Siara was shaken inside. She never guessed her kind boss would did that to her, or to anyone else for that matter. Some workers still greet Siara in nice manner. They didn't know what really was happened to her and Nick. No one would ever know and she wanted to remain kept it that way.

They took the private elevator. Siara still had her access with her fingerprint. Both Siara and Jonathan doesn't said anything. Jonathan know his goddess needed her time to composed herself. As they arrived on Nick's office floor they stepped out from the elevator. There's some employee who work on that floor greeted her and Jonathan. Siara puts her best smiled to them. When they were in front of Nick's office door, Siara stopped her step. Jonathan just stared at her back. For exactly a minute they just stand there. Then Jonathan opened his mouth.

"You're safe with me, Siara."

Siara doesn't looked back to him, she just smiled to his sentence. His soothed words was what she needed. He know exactly how to calmed her racing heart. She proceed to knocked on the door then opened it.

"Nick?" Her voice was soft.

Nick stared at his door with Siara in front of it along with Jonathan behind her. His eyes widened at the sight. He was surprised to saw Siara again. He already guessed after his jerk moves to her last night, see him again was the last thing she ever wanted on her to-do list. His gaze never faltered on her petite body. His tongue was like numb so does his mind.

She cleared her throat, "Um, can I come in?"

It took several seconds for him to registered she was said something to him. Nick blinked his eyes several times.

"What?" Nick asked.

"I said, can I come in?" Her voice a lot more loud this time, more determined.

Nick just nodded his head, can't formed a single words on his head. He looked Siara walked in to his office and Jonathan followed her while closing the door. The man put his bodyguard facade on her. Nick gulped. He know better than to open his mouth, to talked about last night.

"How are you, Nick?" Siara asked.

Nick looked her at disbelief, "What?"

"Okay that's it!" Jonathan began to stormed past Siara, but the woman quickly stopped him, "He doesn't felt regret, Siara. He tried to r**e you! He hurt you!"

"Calm down, okay? Let me finish this myself." Siara said. She tried to be a bigger woman.

Jonathan just shut his mouth but threw a death glare to Nick. If looks can kill...

Nick rose from his seat then walked to the front of his desk. He puts his hand on his pocket, leaning his ass to the desk. He looked to Siara, readying himself. The way his body stiffened, Siara know well that her boss was nervous. He needed time. Then she looked Nick opened his mouth.

"You shouldn't be here." Nick paused, "Not after what happened last night. I already guess you hate me." He paused again, "Scared of me to be precise."

She sighed, "I should but I can't."

His eyes bore to hers, "Why? You should."

"I need an explanation, Nick."

"I'm an asshole, Siara. That's the gist of it." Nick stated.

She shook her head then sighed again, "You know what? It was a mistake to came in here. I should've listened to Jonathan that you doesn't deserve my forgiveness at all."

"And that is true. You shouldn't forgive me, Siara. Not after what I've done to you."

"Goodbye, Nick."

Siara turned her heels then marched towards the door. When she opened the door she heard the words that made her heart dropped to the floor.

"I have a deep feeling for you."

Siara turned her head. Her hand still on the knob. She urged Nick to continue through her eyes.

"f**k. The truth is I'm f*****g love you, Siara." Nick confessed. "Since the first time you worked for me I was smitten by you."

"Then why-"

Nick sighed, "It was jealousy. I was consumed by it. I know you for long and how the love life you had. When I thought I had the chance to make you mine, you were snatch again from me."

"But who-" Nick cuts her off.

"I was jealous with Mr. Xavier who was treated you well. Heck, even he treated you better than me. And with me still caught up with growing up daughters, I know having a family is the last thing on your mind now. Not after Julian's case."

Jonathan stared at Siara with confused look. Siara looked at him for a second. She had an explanation to do for him about Julian. Then she looked back to Nick. She stood there in silent listened to Nick's explanation.

"I know it's not an excuse to what I've done but that's why I'm feeling. I love you and I'm jealous." He shrugged, "I don't deserve your forgiveness."

Siara doesn't said anything. Her mind was fighting as she listened to her boss explanation. She never expected Nick would have a feeling to her, let alone fell deep to her. To her, Nick was a nice person, bubbly, humorous, and he was a good listener to every goddamn story she told him. True he was a gorgeous man, every woman adore and lust for him. But not to Siara. He was so kind to her, even consider her like a family. Nick always helped her whenever he can, and it was anything she need. Personal or not, he always there for her. But his kindness doesn't turn her platonic friendship with him into some kind a love feeling.

She felt torn apart. It was not fair for him if she was staying mad at him. But she couldn't forgive him just yet. She needed time to accepted it. What he did to her last night was brought out the fear she never once had.

"I always thought of you as a good guy, Nick." She started, "And it is the truth, you are a good guy. But I never once thought you had a feeling for me. You know my up and down. You are my best friend."

Nick cast a sad smile.

"After Bianca of course." She laughed a little, so does Nick. "What you did last night was unforgivable. But to compare what you've done to me... I can't stay mad at you. Inside your heart I know you're good. Jealous was not an excuse but I know that feeling so well too, Nick. You just lashed it out in the wrong way, that's all."

"Thank you." Nick croaked.

"I'm not angry anymore, but I can't forgive you yet. I need time." Siara clasped her fingers, "I hope you understand."

Nick nodded. Siara continue, "And I can't stay for work with you anymore. Is that okay?"

"I understand completely." Nick smiled, relieved was shown in his face. "I already guess it somehow. I will asked the Human Resource to take care of it."

Siara smiled to him, "Thank you. I hope someday, we meet again in better life."

Nick just nodded his head. To him, he know the consequence to his action last night. It was more than okay for Siara to not mad at him anymore. He would gave her all the time she needed. After all that was love is wasn't it? You need to accepted it to let go someone you love in order for them to be happy.

After all their conversation, Jonathan walked to the door first. Siara realized this. He wanted to run away from here.

"Jonathan." Siara called, "I thought there's something you want to talk about with Nick. You promised."

Jonathan stopped midway and groaned. He turned away then looked Nick in the eye, "I take back what I said last night. Our partnership is still on. I expected all the documents for my private plane will be ready within two weeks. Is that clear?"

Nick nodded his head vigorously, "Of course, Mr. Xavier."

"I expected last night will the last time you humiliated yourself in front of me. I'm watching you. Good day, Mr. Brentley." Jonathan said.

He stormed out from the room without any glance. Siara looked back to Nick with apologize face. Nick just shook his head, amused by Jonathan action. Clearly the man was losing his dignity to a woman.

"I guess this is it. I'm sorry for-"

"No, don't." Nick cuts her, "I am sorry and..." He trail off.

"And?"

"I love you, Siara." He whispered, "I really mean it."

She smiled, genuine this time. "I hope there's someone who will love you like you did to me Nick."

"Amen to that." He chuckled, "Try not to be broken heart with him okay?"

She stared at him with confused look. "What?"

Nick shook his head, "No it's nothing. Good luck okay?"

Siara nod and left him all alone in his room. She walked to the private elevator as she looked Jonathan was waiting for her there. When they inside the elevator, Siara sighed heavenly. It was like all the burden from her shoulder was lifted. She jumped a little when she felt Jonathan calloused hands massage her shoulder. He moved to behind her. She felt relaxed to his delicate touch, leaning her back into his hard front body. She closed her eyes and hummed in satisfied.

"Now what am I going to do?" Siara talked to herself.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm unemployed, Jonathan. You know that, right?"

He chuckled, "Why don't you work for me?"

Her eyes shot open then turned her head to looked at him, "Huh?"

He stared deep into her brown doe eyes. Sometimes she cursed herself to be melted into his tantalizing gaze. Her knees felt wobble just by his stares. No one made her felt like this as Jonathan did.

"Like I said, work for me, Siara. As my personal assistant." was Jonathan said.