My Best Friend

Chapter one: Moving on

SHAY'S POV

"Well if he can move on I can move on too. What does he even see in her ,yes we didn't kiss yet but he didn't even try and ask me why I'm acting the way I am and now he is with Chantel again I'm feeling broken Gideon." (Gideon is like my bestie replacing Kyle as my boy friend but not on that emotional level though lol).-Shay. I am having an conversation with my bestie he is like my own personal therapist . I can literally speak to him about everything and he won't judge even if he does he isn't showing it. All he does is give me advice how I take it is all up to me.... I am just glad I have an honest friend like Gideon, thank god for sending him on my path.

"What do you expect my friend we man want some action lol. But all jokes a side, babe you chose to leave the man hanging and who knows maybe he is just not the one for you".-Gideon

"Maybe you right but still it stings seeing them together its like I can puke .How do I just move on I always thought he is the one....anyway night I'm rather going to go sleep now .Love you."-Shay

"Stop over thinking things and let the universe just take its course we anyway to young to think about the one. Sleep well baby cakes my chubby bear .Love you too see you tomorrow at school."-Gideon

At least my chats with Gideon calms me, well at least sometimes when he's not being one of he's  male body parts. Gideon and I met in the beginning of the year when we started high school I thought he was gay turns out he's at straight as can be he just choose girls company over boys because that way and I quote 'I can get some sushi quicker'. I wonder how that's working out for him must admit he is quite the looker 6 feet chocolate dark skin smooth not even one pimple in sight I'm so jealous, hazel brown eyes and black hair that he recently dyed grey it so Don't suite him, please don't tell him I said so  .He's current relationship status is Single but he tell girls he's taken so they want him more according to him ,woman want a man more if she thinks she can't have him .I don't  know if that's true.

Back to me and my hopeless thoughts...here I am laying in my bed trying to sleep but I just can't get Kyle off my mind. Knowing him for so long its kind of hard to just let go even our parents thought we will end up together .This is kind of making me think if I should hold on for their part or just safe me the embarrassment and just move on right? yes or no ?I really can't deal seeing or even hearing he is with someone .What must I do ?I can't even talk to my mom about these things how would I even start?

I have never kissed a boy before ,maybe if I just kissed him that day he called me or made an attempt myself things would have been better .I'm laying here crying knowing I messed up my one chance to really be with Kyle yes there will be other guys but seriously who would look at me 5ft ,overweight ,light brown skin, dark brown eyes ,puberty pimples in my face and short black hair I cut my hair ,well the lady at the salon did same dif....but you guys get the picture right...I wonder if I'll ever kiss a boy at this rate I feel like I'm going to grow old alone .All my friends have someone even Gideon has he's girls all over.

Starting tomorrow I'm going to make myself look more appealing .No matter how hard its going to be to get over Kyle I just have to. There are other guys out there that are more than willing to date me.

Shay gave herself the same pep talk over and over again until she fell asleep trying to make herself feel better and it worked...or did it? 

I will just keep motivating myself until it finally happens. I mean everyone deserve happiness, don't they? Now than what makes me any different. So what, at first you don't succeed, you just have to try and try again. And well that is exactly what I am going to do. I am sure my friends will be so happy about me moving on, especially Gideon. He must be sick of my whining already, because I am sure if the roles would have been reversed I would have told him where to get off a long time ago lol.

I believe the best kind of therapist is the kind of therapist that is called your friend. I know a lot of people say.." I don't need friends.". But that is so wrong, we all need someone even if it is just one person they can trust and pour their heart out to, without getting judge sin anyway because your love for each other is just simply so strong, that you would do anything to just look out for that  person. I actually miss that part of my life with Kyle I wish everyday that we can someday make up and just explore together like the old days before we had to go and complicate things with feelings... So I know now with Gideon to avoid getting feelings attached other than the love friends share with each other. I don't want to loose Gideon like I did Kyle.....and I know Gideon is not Kyle but I really cant go down that road again. And no I can't use him to make Kyle jealous because than I am just as wrong as he is. Does Kyle seriously think I don't know he is using he's girlfriend to get over me or to just forget  about me? I am not blind.

I must really sleep now...Kyle is really not worth wasting my beauty sleep over... so sleepy time here I am. Please take me in any style you want... but missionary first I sleep best on my back.....

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zzzzzzzzz...