Chapter 2: my final exam.
855 Words
It was time for my final exam. Geology.
I sat in the classroom with my hands folded tightly on the table, trying to act calm but failing completely. The room felt too quiet in that uncomfortable way, like even breathing sounded loud.
Senior lecturers moved around passing out answer booklets, their steps slow and steady, like they had all the time in the world while my life felt like it was moving too fast.
I kept looking at my hands.
They were shaking.
At first I tried to ignore it, telling myself it was just cold or maybe I hadn’t eaten properly. But no, it was anxiety. Full and simple.
Real anxiety.
When the booklet finally got to me, I froze for a second before taking it. My fingers brushed the paper like it was heavier than it should be.
Then the question paper followed right after.
I took a deep breath.
In and out.
Trying to steady myself.
That was when it hit me, all the nights I stayed up, buried in notes, highlighter ink on my fingers, coffee I didn’t even enjoy anymore. Just pushing myself for this moment.
I lowered my eyes and opened the paper.
The questions looked familiar at first. Like I had seen them before in one of my revisions. But then not fully the same. Slightly different wording, different angles, like they were testing not just memory but understanding.
I glanced around the hall.
Everyone looked… calm.
Too calm.
Like they all knew exactly what they were doing.
Some were already writing. Pens moving fast, no hesitation. No panic. Just focus.
That made my chest tighten a little.
I looked back down and forced myself to start.
Slow at first.
Then a bit faster as my brain started catching up.
The more I wrote, the more I stopped thinking about everything else. Just questions and answers. Nothing outside that moment.
Time moved strangely in there.
At some point I stopped noticing anything except the paper in front of me.
When I finally put my pen down, I didn’t even realize how much time had passed.
I had finished.
Not perfectly, but I had finished.
I left the hall about an hour later, walking out with a strange feeling sitting in my chest. Not relief exactly. Not panic either.
Something in between.
The sun outside felt too bright after being inside for so long. I blinked a few times, adjusting as I joined the slow movement of students leaving the exam hall.
As I walked toward the dorm, my mind kept switching between two feelings.
Anxiety.
And excitement.
Excitement because exams were finally over. That weight was gone, at least for now. No more sleepless nights for a while.
But anxiety still sat there quietly.
What if I failed.
What if all those nights were not enough.
What if I just ruined my semester as a sophomore already.
I tightened my grip on my bag without realizing it.
By the time I got closer to the dorm building, I could hear it before I even saw it.
Voices.
Laughter.
Teasing.
It was coming from my room area.
I already knew before I even confirmed it.
Eliza. Betty. Chloe.
They were there.
I slowed down a bit, thinking maybe I should just take a walk first, clear my head before going in. Just five minutes alone.
I turned slightly like I was going to pass the building.
But then the door behind me opened.
“Where are you going?” Chloe’s voice came first.
I paused.
Of course it was her.
Before I could even answer properly, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back inside like my opinion was not part of the decision.
“No wait, I just wanted to walk a bit,” I tried to say, but she already had me moving.
“No walking. Come.”
And just like that, I was back inside the room.
Eliza was sitting on the bed laughing at something Betty said, Caroline seems to be absent.
papers and phones scattered around like they had been planning for a while already. The energy in the room felt loud, like it didn’t even care that I had just finished a major exam.
Chloe didn’t even sit down first. She just started talking immediately, moving between ideas like she had been holding them in for days.
“The trip is basically set now,” she said.
Eliza nodded like it was obvious.
Betty was scrolling on her phone,
showing something I couldn’t see from where I was sitting.
I stayed quiet.
Just watching them.
Still trying to settle my mind from the exam hall.
They were talking about routes, timing, plans, laughing in between like it was the easiest thing in the world.
And me…
I just sat there, leaning back slightly, feeling like I was in another space entirely.
Because in my head, one thought kept repeating itself.
If I fail this exam, everything becomes harder.
Not just school.
Everything.
And somehow, sitting there listening to them plan a girls’ trip like the world was simple, made that thought even louder.
- Writer
