Snowflakes and Second chances

JUST LIKE MUM

“Julian…” Dad states in a warning tune as Mandy stands up trying to grab her husband's arm, but he doesn't budge, his feet rooted on the spot.

“No dad! I didn't snap yet because of Mandy's pleas, but standing here and listening to her manipulate you all into her pity party like she's suddenly some renewed saint is disgusting, and I can't take it anymore.” Our table was in a more secluded corner than the rest of the other customers, but I could still feel one or two curious glances being thrown our way at the not so quiet level of Julian's voice.

“I'm not here to manipulate anyone Julian, I'm sincerely sorry, and I understand that you're angry with me, and you have every right to, but I want to fix things-” he begins laughing as I turn to him, cutting me off mid-sentence.

“You don't get s**t Amelia, how could you? I don't blame you really, I mean, who would want to stay behind and rot in the little town when there's a whole bigger world out there? But now that your life must have some sort of loophole in it, you're back? You suddenly need us once more, it's sad how you're just like mum.” And with that, Julian tugs his arm out of his wife's hold and storms off, ignoring my dad calling out for him.

The effect of everything Julian had just said hits me hard, and I find myself shamefully excusing myself from the table and dashing off, not listening to Mandy or my dad trying to talk to me.

I walk for a while, completely trapped in my thoughts until I find myself at the children's park just before the lake that usually turns to ice during winter.

I lower myself unto an empty seat, absentmindedly watching the little kids playing while their parents hung around and the flock of pigeons gathered at different spots.

I didn't know if I should be grateful or disappointed that my marriage hadn't given me a child at least. If we had a daughter or son together, would everything had completely crashed, or would we have found a standing? Or would the divorce process be even harder and more complicated?

Jacob's intense dislike for any topic relating to kids was a mystery to me, something that only developed after we had gotten married because the Jacob I had dated had feed into my fantasy of wanting to have a big family and many kids.

Maybe if we did have a child, I wouldn't be seating here watching other people's kids with a longing look on my face, but what if just as Julian said, I turned out to be just like my mum?

The woman who had walked away from her husband, ten-year-old son and five-year-old daughter without so much as a second glance, deciding that she'd had enough of the urban life and wanted to go for something greater in the big city.

Eighteen years since I last saw the woman who had birthed me and was now a blurry memory in my mind, eighteen long years after her decision that family was a hindrance to her success and ironically, thirteen years after her painful actions and I had done just the same thing.

Did I really even deserve my brother's forgiveness? Maybe it'd be better if I left and faced the consequences of my poor decisions myself…

“Here miss.” I'm startled by the little arm holding out a pink napkin to me and I look down to see a cute little girl in a navy-blue romper, brown winter boots and jacket with her hair pushed into a small wooly beanie.

I take the napkin from her hand, only then just realizing that I had been crying, and she shuffles closer, pulling herself to the seat beside me impressively for her small size that she managed to lift to meet the bench's height.

“My daddy says grown-ups are allowed to be sad too, are you sad miss? Here you can have my lollipop too.” She says again, and I laugh softly, wiping my face with my sleeves as she holds out a lollipop she had taken out of her pocket to me.

“Your daddy sounds like a wise man, what's your name?” I took the lollipop from her, touched by the pure heart of the little angel.

“My name's Sofia and I'm four.” She gives me a cheeky smile, her blue eyes twinkling.

“Nice to meet you Sofia, I'm Amelia, where's your daddy? You do know you shouldn't be talking strangers, right?” She gives a sheepish smile at this statement.

“He went to get me a balloon, you don't look like a stranger, and you were sad.” She justifies her actions and I just laugh at how cute she was.

“Thank you for the napkin and lollipop Sofia, I won't ever forget the kind gesture, but now we'll just sat here together and wait for your dad, okay? Will he know where to find you?-” I begin talking, but she suddenly hops off the seat with a happy squeal.

“Daddy!” She runs into the arms of the man approaching with a balloon in hand and I stand up to compliment her father who was raising one of the best people the world needed as it was and return the napkin, only to freeze as I locked eyes on those sunset brown orbs for the second time today.

“I made a new friend daddy! Look, she's so pretty and her hair's red!” Sofia sings tugging her father towards where I stood frozen in surprise, and they come to stop in front of me the cute, innocent little girl still bubbling away as she introduced me to her dad not knowing that her father and I didn't need any introduction, we were already well acquainted as we could be.

Sofia's daddy was none other than Sebastian Hernandez as it seemed, and I couldn't shake the surprise off my face as I gaped at him.