TO KILL A KING

SIX-ACHE

KING

Three rasping knocks sounded on my cabin door. Pausing what I was doing I went to answer it. The door opened to reveal a broad male with his head hung low in shame, his dark hair stuck to his forehead with the thin sheen of sweat that seemed to coat his olive skin. Chest heaving with heavy breaths and he looked although he had just been fighting, and thick red cut tore through the left side of his chest, blooming a rich shade of crimson across his dark shirt.

"Cole? What happened to you? Asking with a frown I opened the door an inch or two wider so that I could see him properly, noticing the fainted tinge of purple that had began to blossom along the curve of his high cheek bone.

He glanced down at himself, as if only now noticing the wound. "Oh nothing, Elijah just kicked my ass. Listen, are you busy right now? I need to talk to you."

"Sure.." I said suspiciously, Cole had done anything like this before. 

-But I didn't question him, because he looked although he needed to get something off of his chest.

Stepping back completely I allowed him through, shutting the front door after him before going back to the kitchen whilst he trailed along behind me, making sure to keep his distance.

He perched upon one of the barstools at the island, his leg bouncing anxiously whilst I dug around in one of the draws for supplies, pulling out a bottle of peroxide and setting it on the counter along with some gauze.

His eyes widened at the sight of the peroxide, as he said quickly, "King, that's really not necessary.."

"Don't be a pussy." Chuckling, I poured a decent amount onto a large cotton pad. My comment seemed to challenge the toxic masculinity imbedded in his psyche, as he sat up straighter and puffed out his chest as I approached. I rolled my eyes.

"Just didn't want you to waste supplies is all."

"Is that so?" He opened his mouth to reply but all that came out was a pained hiss as I pressed the pad to the wound, "-Sorry."

I wasn't sorry.

Not one bit.

"So... Why did Elijah feel the need to kick your ass? Not that I blame him mind you." I teased with a smirk, wrapping the wound in gauze, before bandaging it in place. His body was so warm, I could feel it's heat radiating into mine, and a small, insignificant part of be wondered what it would be like to feel the warmth of his skin on mine, to run my hands through his raven hair. I stamped the thought out immediately.

"Wasn't anything personal, we were just training and I decided to wind him up." The faintest trace of a smile lined his lips at the memory. "It was my fault completely," He admitted, "I was the one who took it too far and wound him up."

There had never been anything romantic between Cole and I in the slightest.

Ever.

-But every now and again I would glance over at him, and in that moment I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like, what it would feel like, to be held in those strong arms. To kiss those soft lips.

No. Stop. It was wrong.. So wrong.

Instead I tried my best to keep things professional between us, hiding my feelings beneath a hard demeanour. Somewhere out there, though it was extremely rare that mates every actually found one another, I had one. Somewhere. I wondered if they waited for me too. I had become too wrapped up in my on thoughts that I had failed to notice the faltering in my hands, the way they quivered and shook. "Are you alright King?" Cole asked, steading my swaying body with a firm grip on my forearm. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

He took the remaining bundle of bandages from my hands, effortlessly fixing the gauze that had already stained scarlet in place as I stepped back, turning away from him to grab two glasses from the top shelf. "You want one?"

He grunted yes, as I lifted the bottle of what looked like amber but burned like fire from the cabinet, pouring us each a hefty glass and settling comfortably on the barstool across from him. "So, what did you say to Elijah that set him off?"

"I called him a pretentious twat..." He said slowly, taking a drawn out sip from his glass. "And I may or may not have mentioned his obsession with Farrah.."

"Ah." I replied, suppressing a smile. "So it was personal then?"

He thought about it for a minute, "Apparently so."

I couldn't help but shake my head at his antics. "Sounds to me like you deserved it."

He had always been impulsive. It had made for many funny moments between us however I had warned him many times that one day his own inability to think before he acted would be his downfall. One day we wouldn't be there to be able to save him from his own self destruction. 

We were without words for a long while, each of us drowning beneath the crushing weight of our own thoughts. I wondered what it was that kept him awake at night.. What thoughts consumed his every waking moment as they did mine.

"I really am sorry about earlier." He said after a time, his eyes not quite meeting mine as he stared down at the glass cupped between his palms.

I smiled softly, "I know."

"You know, I don't understand you a lot of the time." 

My eyebrows knit together in question at his admission, urging him to continue. "How so?"

"I just..." He seemed to change his mind on what he was going to say, I hoped he didn't do it because he wasn't afraid of my judgement. "How is it that you're never scared?"

I laughed, mainly due to the uncomfortable feeling I felt growing inside me, " Who says that I'm not?"

"Don't play games King, I saw you earlier when that girl had you by the throat. You didn't even flinch."

"Maybe it's because death doesn't frighten me." I said with a shrug as I poured myself another glass, taking a sip and letting the amber fire scorch my throat, lighting a fire within my that soared all the way to my stomach, warming my aching soul from the inside out. "Everybody has to die at some point. Be it now or in a thousand years."

"What are you afraid of then?"

So many things beyond counting, some things that even if I wanted to I didn't think I would be able to put into words. All at once my deepest insecurities came screaming to the surface, their wicked heads floating amongst the waves of sadness I had spent years learning to swim in. I became so consumed within the ideology of my own destruction that I almost forgot to answer his question. Instead envisioning a thousand ways in which I would be completely and utterly terrified, not just afraid, but the kind of fear that shuts a person down entierly.

"I'm afraid that one day everything I've built might just disappear.." My voice came out barely audible, hoping that if he didn't hear my words, that they wouldn't exist. Then it would be like I had never said them, like I had never acknowledged my phobia. But once the words left my tongue I knew there was no getting them back, and soon more followed, an irretrievable string fell from the tip of my tongue before I could stop myself.

All the things I had always wanted to say but never could, be it from lack of courage or denial.. Maybe a bit of both. "I'm scared of ending up alone again."

He didn't say anything and for that I was glad. I didn't want any pity or sorrow, I couldn't stand it. All I wanted was someone to listen, which he did. Cole hungrily downed the rest of his glass in one as I asked. "What about you?"

Say something. Say anything. Anything to wash away the words I had just said. He took so long to speak I feared he never would and instead the blanketing silence between us would suffocate me beneath the true weight of my own admission.

It may not have meant anything to him, but it meant everything to me. I had never said it aloud before and never would again.

"Losing control." He deadpanned, running a callused hand through his sinfully dark hair. "...I'm scared of loosing control and hurting the people I care about."

And there we were. Both of us barren and bare before one another.

Bled raw of all emotion, no humour or wit left to shield our hurt, only the most primitive and primal parts of ourselves exposed and out in the open. 

In some strange way

It almost felt liberating.. Almost. Or at least, maybe it would if I could let go of the crippling anxiety that one day somebody would use my greatest weakness against me.

"In a way, our fears are the same." I said after a long while.

"How do you do it?" He lowed his head into his hands in defeat. "How are you always so strong?"

I shuddering breath darted from between my parted lips. That was really what he thought of me? How he saw me? Maybe he didn't know me aswell as I thought. Or maybe I had just built my walls so thick that even those closest to me couldn't penetrate them. 

"Hey." I whispered, leaving over the counter on my elbows to take his hand in mine. "You're stronger than I ever will be."

He looked me dead in the eyes, his emerald eyes piercing into my soul as he spoke the words that had been consuming him for many long nights. The vowels and syllables coming together to verbalise the very thing he feared the most. Himself. "I killed my family."

"What?" I said taken aback, but still I refused to let go of his hand, only loosening my grip slightly.

"Well I guess not directly.. But they died as a result of my actions." He tilted his head back, the last drips of honey gold liquid disappearing down his throat. I didn't hesitate to pull away to pour him another glass. 

"Four years ago tomorrow to the day, we were attacked, my entire pack was slaughtered like animals. They took everything. Killed everyone. They burned our houses to the ground, and forced fathers to watch whilst they r***d their wives and daughters."

A heavy weighted nausea settled into the pit of my stomach, rooting me to the spot so that even if I wanted to, I couldn't run away, even though his confession made me want to scream and throw up all at once, but not because of what he had supposedly done. Because the actions of a few heartless individuals could leave a man like Cole so desperately broken.

"They killed my parents in front of me.. My mother, my sister.. And I couldn't save them. I didn't even try." His fist slammed into the marble island, making what little liquor still remained in his glass shudder with the force. "I ran away. I ran like a f*****g coward."

I gave his hand a squeeze. "They would've wanted you to run."

I had never seen him like this before, it was strange. It was humbling. To see the great beta, usually to confident and calm completely crumble beneath the crushing weight of his own guilt. It was the only time I had known him not to crack a joke, instead now there was only melancholy silence to fill the void between us.

"That's not the point King. I should never have left them."

"What was the pack? Just tell me and I swear to you we will make them pay." I wasn't exactly sure how, but it wouldn't take me long to think of a way. Usually I wouldn't want my pack to get involved in conflict not directly related to us. However this was different. This was personal. This was unforgivable.

Letting go of his hand I stood from my chair, closing the short distance between us as I hugged him from behind, his head still pressed into his palms.

He was warm and firm beneath my cheek that rested upon his taught back. He mumbled something unintelligible and in response I just squeezed him harder. Trying desperately to hold the pieces of him together and prevent him from shattering beneath my fingertips.

I relaxed my grip as he turned around in his chair, staring at me with red rimmed eyes. "Thank you King. For everything."

I rested the palm of my hand on his cheek, using the pad of my thumb to wipe away a threat of a tear. "Keep your head up okay. We're in this together now."

This was the closest we had ever been to one another. We had been close before during training, but always with others around to keep out primal thoughts pure. But this was something different, this time there was no one around to think about us, but us. 

We were so close I could feel his thick thighs brushing against either side of me, and I was able to count the exact distance between us, that seemed to be growing ever smaller with every drawn out second that passed, until I would feel his hot breaths fanning my face.

His half hooded eyes flickered down to my parted lips. I think somewhere along the line I had forgotten to breathe.

Our eyes locked for a brief moment before he did what we had been both crying for, for what seemed like decades. Everything around us all at once ceased to exist.

It was only us. No thoughts. No judgement. Only us, left alone with out feelings.

We were hungry. We were starved.

Desperate for any semblance of affection from another.

He closed the short space between us, his lips that felt so much softer than I had imagined them meeting mine. His firm hand found my hip to steady me as both my fists balled in the back of his shirt.

It was slow, it was perfect. Filled with four years worth of brewing tension between us, never spoken or referenced but we both always knew it was there. It had finally passed the breaking point, no longer able to be shoved down beneath the surface.

In one fluid movement he lifted me to straddle his lap without breaking our bond of contact.

"Cole.." I moaned breathily against his lips as his fingers dug deeper into my side. I revelled in the pain he gave me, I loved every part of its subtle bite that kept me grounded in reality, the slight pain that satisfied the hunger inside of me I had always thought was insatiable.

His lips broke from mine only to travel along my jaw, before he began biting and sucking his way down my throat, forcing a guttural, aching sound from me and my fingernails to scape deep groves into muscled back.

I wasn't exactly sure how but somehow through our thick cloud of lust we clumsily found our way upstairs my back pressing against almost every wall in the house as his hips bucked into me to keep me up, my legs still wrapped firmly around his waist, only breaking when I felt my back hit the mattress.

"Wait." I whispered, pulling away. "What about-"

A gentle kiss had all semblance of words falling from my mind. "It's okay. I get it." He said, knowing exactly what I was getting at as he lifted away from me. My body instantly cried out against the sudden loss of warmth, begging for his return as I sat up to see he was already halfway out the doorway. "Wait, Cole."

Please, don't leave me. I can't be alone again.

Stopping at once he locked eyes with me, sending a shiver down my spine at the way his green eyes almost seemed to glow in the muted light of the night. "Stay with me... I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Me neither." He replied with a sad smile.

***

QOTD- what do you think of Cole and King together?

Any thoughts? Theories?

Don't forget to vote and comment!

-TFOA