Unspoken

Unspoken Love

Leela enrolled herself into school while Romel continued working towards owning his own practice. Leela found herself submerged in her studies, got in touch with her spiritual self, and learned how to channel her energy into productive activities that challenged her mind, body, and soul.

Romel continued to challenge himself physically and mentally. He exercised every day, changing up his daily regimen to challenge himself physically and escape from the stress that constantly surrounded him. Mentally, he was challenging himself in preparation for his practice. Emotionally, he was defeated by the woman in his life, whom, Leela thought, was still in love with her ex and wanted to be the one to say 'I won Romel, I defeated the competition, but I really didn't expect to be with this dude for this long, just wanted to make my ex jealous so he would come running back, but since I'm here, might as well make the best of things until I get what I actually want,' but what would Leela know, since she was single and in love with a man who was obviously taken, in love, and not interested in her any longer, though, at times, there was a spark that maybe only Leela saw or felt. Maybe things were always one-sided. Maybe when Robin came around, Leela should have fought harder, but how could she do something like she was "too much" for Romel. Maybe if she were crazy as her mother would tell her to be, in order to get a man, then perhaps Romel would have wanted her more. But being crazy wasn't the kind of woman that Leela was at her core.

Instead, she worked on restoring her undeniable confidence, she smiled more and if she cried it would be from laughing hysterically, but she stopped her tears from being over someone who didn't love her back, or didn't really reciprocate the energy she gave. Her self-love was golden and solid, and the respect for herself was immaculate. She chose not to date around and instead prayed for exactly what she needed and understood that her wants would follow. She was brave and found her voice, not allowing anyone or any circumstance to keep her quiet. She was already outgoing, but now she was fierce and grew up quite a bit from pushing up her glasses and fidgeting when she became nervous.

Romel became more confident in his work and in his choices for life. Though every choice he made was not always the right choice, he decided that seeing things through was better than just giving up because of things not working to his advantage. He knew what love should be like, feel like, and though it was possible that he was blinded by love, he learned to start seeing things for how they were. He learned to rely upon a higher power and not lean on his own understanding. But he was still a bit hardheaded, so many times he strayed away from the hints life threw his way, because deep inside he was still afraid of the 'what if' and the ideal of starting over. Yet he also knew that with Leela, he wouldn't have to 'start over' because their foundation was built on solid ground years ago. He wanted to over analyze every action, as opposed to just allowing things to happen organically. There was a sense of control that he still had not learned to give over in order to allow what was truly meant to be to happen. He was in love with Kellie and had now considered her his best friend and Leela learned that she could not compete, nor did she want to, because she finally realized that she shouldn't have to compete for a man or for love...ever.

Remember, this is not a love story. They've grown, they've learned, grew individually, taught one another, challenged one another, prayed for one another, and even loved one another. This is a journey.

*Fast-forward*

9 years, 4 months, 3 days had passed, and the big day had come. For those following along with the timeline, let's do a quick breakdown. 1 year of friendship and dating, year 2-7 Romel was with Kellie, 2, almost 3 additional years had passed, which now brings us to a total of 9 years, 4 months, and 3 days. That's right during the 2-7 year marker of Romel and Leela knowing one another. He was with Kellie, and they finally had called it quits in an amicable manner.

Romel had finally opened up his practice, and his business was steady, with a constant flow of clients and a team of four. He was content. He was living his career dream.

Let's play catch up...

6 months after Romel and Kellie went their separate ways, Romel approached Leela, asking her if she wanted to finally be together. Leela declined, rightfully so, stating that the way Romel went about handling things and handling her heart, knowing how in love she once was with him, and still was, but it did not make him move, shake, or even flinch, was just all wrong. She stated, "I am no one's second choice. I am not your void to fill."

Though they remained friends, Romel made a conscious decision to remain single until his higher power deemed him as ready for a relationship that led to marriage. Leela started dating someone that she finally did not subconsciously compare to Romel. She had once told Romel, "I'll find and be with someone better than you one day." and he replied,"No one is better than me."

Leela gave a strong "tch," sucking her teeth, becoming almost determined to find Mr. Right. Later on, only to realize that she had dated this man for some time, with talks of marriage in their future. Usually, Leela would decline a man with one too many children, but she loved the way he interacted with his children and how involved of a father he was. The day he told her that she was the one he was going to marry, her heart felt like it would burst from being full of love and hope. She finally had come across the man that would help her to forget Romel. The man was better than him because he put her first and not as an afterthought.

With the big day slowly approaching, so many family and friends were coming in from out of town to the destination.

Anyways...

Leela, the ugly duckling, or little bug with many, many legs, grew into... no wait... TRANSFORMED (make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of)... into the swan, the beautiful butterfly, who was loved and who understood how to give love to the deserving ones... even undeserving ones because, you know, she was a saint at heart. No one ever understood the struggles that she had endured, or the pain that engulfed her being, due to abusive environments, or the "love" that she received when it was really hate or mistreatment...except for Romel. UGH! WE. ARE. OVER. HIM! Ugh!

Right...??...!!...??

Are we?

Is she?

Are you???

¤