Run-Away Little Sister: Hurting

Chapter Seventeen: Mental

ANASTASIA'S POV:

Mental.

A relation to the mind, or relation to disorders of the mind.

I walked out of the room with my authority and confidence easily detectable.

As a sixteen year old teenager who has multiple responsibilities, such as: having small children to look after, multi-million dollar companies to take care of, and a gang that requires lots of attention, plus my education and having a normal social life, it's incredibly easy to get overworked.

And today was one of those days.

Soon after the meeting with the principle, my biological brothers, and Dane (along with his parents), Wyatt and I were getting ready to leave the school. I couldn't find it in me to focus, my mind wasn't in the right setting, and I felt like I was going mental.

My head was spinning, my eyes were blurring, my hands were shaking, my heart was thumping heavily in my chest, and I felt like I was going to break out crying at any given moment. Lately, all it seems I've been doing is either crying or wanting to cry.

So deciding it was best for my mental health, Wyatt and I left school during third period, which was when we had finally gotten out of that meeting.

I had decided to drown myself in work until we had to pick up Luke, Max, Layla, Kayla, and Jamie. They knew I wasn't in school today, I was taking a mental health day.

But being able to spend a whole day dedicated to just my companies work and gang work was what I needed in order to reset my mindset. I spent the day in my office, no distractions, just drowning myself in work, hoping to keep the memories of the past in the past.

Today was one of those days where the past kept coming to the forefront of my mind.

And I hated that I had no control over it. 

It was the end of the day, I had finished most of my work, and would finish the rest once we were back at home after picking up Courtney and Dylan.

Wyatt was going into the school in order to find our homework from the missed classes. Not bothering to leave the car, I stayed in the passenger seat, waiting for my friends to come back to the car. I was scrolling through my cellphone on i********:, wondering how long it was going to take my friends, while occasionally liking a photo I come across.

Checking my surroundings every thirty seconds, I quickly jerked my head up at the sound of shouting and panicked voices.

"Matthew! Please calm down." I heard a familiar voice shout out.

"No! NO! It's all my fault." I heard Matthew's voice cry out, "If I would have told the truth, she would have been fine. We would have all loved her, she would have been protected. Momma and Dad wouldn't be disappointed."

"Matthew, it's not your fault. You did what any other child would have done while they were fearing for their life." I heard James speak in a stern tone.

I watched them through the car window, feeling like an outsider looking in. And I couldn't help but think that if my parents never died, I wouldn't really know my best friends and I would be in a happy family dynamic. I would be normal.

"It is my fault! If I wouldn't have been such a coward, if I would have taken the beatings instead of my sister, she'd be loved and she wouldn't have to hold all this trauma. It's my fault."

Before I could even think about leaving the car, Matthew broke out in heavy sobs, his chest heaving deeply, almost as if he could barely breathe. Matthew held his head tightly between his two hands as he crouched down on the pavement, and began rocking back and forth quietly.

I exited the car and jogged over to where all five of my brothers stood.

As I got closer, I heard Matthew muttering on repeat, "It's all my fault. It's all my fault."

"Hey what's going on?" I asked Nathan, ignoring the presence of my other older brothers.

"Uh-he had sudden outbursts of anger today in the middle of his classes for no seeable reason. He couldn't focus otherwise, unless he was screaming in anger, and then once he was done screaming he started crying out to our parents. And after that he's just been in this depressive state, where he blames himself and then gets angry at himself, before crying, shaking, and curling into himself." Nathan informed me.

"He's probably having a mental or nervous breakdown from all the trauma he's experienced over the past nine years."

"Nine years?" James scoffed.

"Believe it or not, when your little sister covers for you and you realize that any moment you could be in your sisters place it causes a fearful life. He's lived a lot of his life in fear, it's stressful and causes trauma. And if he truly believes that his actions, causing me to cover for him, lead to my almost-r**e than that could have pushed him over the edge." I scoffed, wrapping my arms around me.

"Let's not start, James." Nathan looked towards James, before looking at me, "Ana, what do we do?"

"I can call my therapist, who would be more than happy to help you all out and get Matthew the help he needs. If you all would be okay with that? We can get Matthew's consent once he comes out of what I'm pretty sure is a hallucination of some sort."

"Fine, but if Matthew doesn't consent then what'll happen?" James spoke.

"My therapist won't be able to help him, she doesn't work without consent unless there are dire circumstances, but she will give him her phone number and give him reasons as to why she could actually help him."

"That's your big plan?" James scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, looking at me in disbelief.

"Believe it or not, James, but you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. We can show him his options for the help he can receive, but if he decides he doesn't want to use those options that's his free choice. Now, do you want me to make the call or what?"

"Fine, make the call."

"He's getting released and then going to get help?" I asked Nathan, my phone being held against my ear.

It had been six days since Matthew was admitted into the psych ward for his mental breakdown. He had finally started getting better, and to everybody's knowledge he was getting released tomorrow afternoon at around one-thirty.

"Yeah, he'll be taking some time off work, and he'll be going to therapy five days a week for two hour sessions every day he's there. The doctors at the hospital think that he'll only need to be off work for a few weeks, a month tops, and then everything should start settling down again." Nathan continued to inform me.

"Do they think this was a one-off thing, or is this going to be happing again?" I questioned.

"They don't know for sure, obviously you can't. But they did say he has a higher chance of this happening again if he continues to bottle his emotions up."

"Well, as long as he has a comfortable place he can go to, to let his emotions out, then he should be okay, right?"

"Y-yeah, I guess so."

"What's wrong, Nate?" I asked over the phone, my eye brows furrowing at the sadness in his voice.

"I don't know, I guess I just thought that since you were back home now, everything would start to get easier, and it only seems to have gotten harder. I'm glad your home and everything, I'm just sick and tired of all the extra s**t going on. I feel like a terrible brother, a terrible friend, and a terrible person for even thinking that. You're my best friend, Ana."

"Nathan, don't feel bad. Bad s**t happens all the time, okay?" I told him, "Life is life and we won't get anywhere in life if we don't challenge ourselves. This is just another one of those challenges. It's not you, Nathan, just keep living life and eventually things will get better. I mean, look at me, I'm finally at a great place in life, whereas two years ago I thought it was all my fault and the misery would never end."

"But you overcame those challenges-"

"And I've never been happier." 

Author's Note - 

Here's the seventeenth chapter of "Run-Away Little Sister: Hurting". It's definitely different than the original version and we're still behind the original (slowly catching up though). 

Matthew's finally hit his breaking point. And remember, Matthew was a child during his parent's deaths. Obviously he was older than Ana, but he was still a child and has trauma from that given time in his life. That trauma hasn't let go of him since he was younger. He'll begin to properly heal soon. 

Chapter eighteen should be out soon as well.

And please, let me know what you all think about this chapter. And make sure you all comment, vote (by clicking the star), and share this story with those who might like it.

Thanks for reading!

-Michaela {The Author}

Original Version Published: March 14th. 2019  

Edited Version Published: October 1st. 2021