Bit Broken.

Sleepless.

The routine changed a bit. College. Ice-cream. Holding hands. Kisses. Tuition. Study. More kisses. Some casual teasing and lots of serious teasing. I touched her in places I had only dreamed of. She touched me in the places which rocked my world. I loved the subtle restlessness on her face when I was with her. And boy it is hard to hide things from the world when we clearly wanted to eat each other up.

 Tara still sat with Vijay in the class. Sitting with me would make everyone suspicious. I too became good friends with Vijay. I had to, so as to spend more time together with Tara. I had helped him pass the second semester and from that time he was quite good to me. 

"Why do you go together to the washroom?" Vijay inquired. We sat in the cafeteria after a class. I was now starting to notice him properly. He usually dressed weird but he was really particular about his watch and his shoes. Classy, rich and limited editions. He smelled like a sophisticated after-shave spray.

"What do you think?" Tara sneered. "Of course to have s*x!"

I at once kicked her leg under the table and looked at her with wide eyes. How could she blabber it out!

Vijay seemed tensed and confused for a second. He looked at Tara who gave me a naughty smile and winked. He laughed. "Stop kidding..."

I laughed too. The situation was saved.

"Why...Why can't it happen?" Tara again started with that.

"No...You could but I know..." Vijay looked at me and then again turned back to Tara. "Tanvi is way too serious about her studies...an..."

"I am getting late. Papa must be waiting." I clearly wanted to get out of that conversation.

Way back home, Tara and I had a fight. Tara didn't want to hide it anymore. At least to her friends. I was still uncomfortable about the whole thing. Why couldn't we stay like that...we were having the time of our lives. I didn't want any eyes on us.

"You are being a coward..." Tara muttered. Her frustration getting converted into deep forced exhalation. We always pulled up the screen between the front seat and the back seat. The driver couldn't be trusted.

"I don't want any trouble. At least let me figure something out about my future.."

"And our future...what about that?"

"Be practical for once..."I yelled. "Your dad owns a f*****g company and my papa is a ..." I stopped. It felt embarrassing. I held her hand and said in a softer tone, "Trust me...it is not the right time."

"What if there is never a right time?" her eyes welled up. Her voice cracked. "What if.."

"I know it's really hard but give me some time princess. I promise everything will be fine...Trust me alright?"

She nodded. The lines on her forehead were gone in no time. She put her head on my shoulder . She was sleeping on my lap as we entered the huge iron gates to the mansion.  That night was really hard for me, I was awake for really long. I promised her that I would make everything fine. I didn't know how. I promised Papa I would become something and not be a servant to anyone. I didn't know how. I promised myself to own my world. I didn't know how.

Papa came into my room, probably because the lights were still on.

"What is bothering you?" He asked. He always knew somehow.

"Nothing..." I always lied. "Why aren't you asleep? It's late. Did you take your medicines?"

He nodded with a smile. He stared at the photograph of mom, I had placed on the wall. "Shall I sing?" he turned to me. His voice had become weak. He had become weak. "Like your mother used to sing as she put you to sleep"

I nodded. I smiled as he hummed the tune. He had forgotten the words of the lullaby. I too had forgotten the song. But remembered the tune, he was doing it perfect until...until his body rocked back and forth with a violent cough. A strange fear engulfed my body, my face lost the smile as I remembered what the doctor had said, "blood-tinged frothy sputum...is a dangerous sign." And that was exactly what I saw coming out of his mouth.