Swipe Of Love

15

♕ A N T O N I A P O V ♕

I had my eyes closed, listening to every single word he said. Why did he not have any choice? I did give him an option, but he chose Rachel over me. There must be something he is hiding.

What are you hiding from me, Mr. Khan? What is it that you are not saying?

I exposed my eyes to everyone there and glanced around my surroundings. The walls were dull yellow, with big glass windows to my right. There was a door inside the room, probably a bathroom. Machines were around me, and the smell inside the room was horrible. It smelled like medication. I did not like it one bit.

Why was I in a hospital? My eyes landed on Omar. He ran up to me and hugged me tightly.

"Don't you dare scare me like that ever again, Mom!" He warned, giving me a tight hug as if he was losing me.

"I'm sorry, but what happened?" I asked, rubbing my forehead.

"You passed out. Your lungs were not working, so we had to put on an oxygen mask to help you breathe. It's a miracle how you can breathe normally and woke up that fast." The man with a white coat, who I assume is a doctor, spoke.

"And you are?" I raised my eyebrow.

"My apologies. I am the doctor assigned to you, David," he smiled, holding out his hand to shake mine, "we think the cause of your blacking out is the fact that you were experiencing post-traumatic stress, which weakens the body and it's hazardous for you," he responded, flipping through some papers.

"What do you suggest that she should do, Doc?" Omar questioned.

"I would recommend a lot of rest. Go on a vacation to release your stress. Try to stay calm and relax your body. Like I said before, stress can weaken your body very badly," he explained.

"You hear that, mom? Looks like no more work for you until the Doc says so," Omar cheered.

"Yeah, yeah! You are just lazy. You hate working," I smiled, patting his back.

"We are going to take some tests, and then we will decide if you can leave or not," Doctor David announced.

"Thank you," I smiled.

As he walked out, we waited for the nurse to come in. A couple of minutes later, the nurse came and took some tests. After the results came out, Doc said that we could leave and prescribed me some medication.

Omar helped me get in the wheelchair. He pushed me through the hallways, rumbling about how his day at school was and how his friend Hakeem was annoying. I wasn't able to hold my laughter back, so I laughed out loud.

We walked out of the hospital and headed toward Emily's car. Omar opened the car door and aided me to get in the car. Seating next to me, Emily took my hand in hers, giving me a smile. Jacob and Omar sat in the front. Jacob started to drive in the direction of my house.

As we passed by many places, trees, and stores, I couldn't help but think about my life again. Why did he leave my life? Why did he come back if he didn't love me anymore and choose Rachel over me? Why? I don't think I can handle it anymore with this pain. I wanted to know everything, so I don't have to overthink this stupid feeling that I have been trying to get rid of for the past couple of years. I deserve an explanation.

I don't know why I can't stop loving him or get myself to hate him. My heart doesn't want to give up on him, but I know I have to somehow. If I don't, I will be destroyed, and so will my son's life, which I do not want. I don't want him to suffer the same feelings as I did. Nor do I want him to suffer for something that Walid and I did to each other. Well more like what he did to his own family.

Occasionally, there is this rage in me that I just want to lash out. The exasperation and loathing that I feel toward Walid. The bitterness that rises inside me, causing me to despise him. Nevertheless, that doesn't happen. My mind and heart are two different things, and I can't seem to bring them together. One is always pulling toward the right while the other drags me toward the left, driving me crazy.

The car jerked forward, breaking my train of thoughts. I looked around to see that we finally arrived at my house. Getting out of the car, Omar took the wheelchair out from the trunk and assisted me in getting on the seat.

"Wait!" I told him.

"What's wrong? You alright?" Omar's voice filled with concern.

"How am I supposed to get up the stairs if I am in the wheelchair?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Right?" he scratched his head as he let out a nervous laugh.

"Lift her up, Omar. Carry her to the house," Emily smacked his head.

"Ouch women! Alright," he mumbled, picking me up and carrying me to the house. After entering the house, he took me straight to my room. After he laid me down, he pulled the covers on top of me. As he took a seat next to me on the bed, he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Here are all her things," Jacob smiled, handing Omar the bag.

"Thank you for the help, guys," I said.

"Don't worry about it. We are a family, and family sticks together, no matter what." Email walked up to me and gave me a hug. "Take care of yourself. and don't stress yourself too much."

"I will see you later, then." I then leaned in and whispered in her ear, "go easy on the guys with your mood swings and hormones."

"Alright," she laughed aloud.

Giving a wave, they walked out of my room. Omar walked toward my room door and closed the door gently. He strolled up to me and embraced me. He laid his head on my shoulder.

"I got frightened, mommy. I was anxious that you might leave me in this world, where I don't have anyone else," he mumbled.

"Don't say that, honey. You have a family here. You have your grandparents, uncle, aunt, and so many other people that love you. You aren't alone in this world." I stroked his brown hair.

"I don't trust anyone except your mom, and you know why. I just can't seem to trust them," he shook his head.

"You have to learn to let people into your life," I cautiously told him.

"Let them in, and then they will hurt you in the end. That is it. Is it not what my so-called father did to you? He broke you, mom. Not only that, but he was never a part of our lives," he clenched his fist. His veins were popping out, and his skin turned into the color red. He was trying hard to control his temper.

"I know." I released a deep sigh, "you have to let people in. You just have to. I don't want you to live your life alone. If Allah wills, you will have a life partner, and you have to trust her. You have to take care of her, love her, and you can't let her feel like she is unwanted. You have to keep her happy."

"I am not going to get married to anyone. Trust me on that, mom," he stormed out of the room but not before closing the door silently. It is funny how he is indignant, but he closed the door quietly. He always respects me; I love him for that too.

What will I do with this boy?

He has to learn to trust. I kept him in the house for too long alone. I should have sent him to his grandparents over the summer break, but he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to see the face of his father. He told me that one day when I suggested to him to travel and visit his grandparents. I must do something before it is too late.

"What are you doing here?" Omar's loud voice echoed throughout the house.

What is with all the noise? Whom is he yelling?

Ya Allah! Please tell me Walid is not here.

Why would Walid try to sneak into the house, when he knows he is not good at hiding in. Omar doesn't remember what his father looks like. He would not know if Walid did come over. I released a deep breath, relaxing my body. Thank Allah for that.

I got up from the bed slowly and headed out. Sauntering down the stairs, I saw a young girl with a hijab on. She was wearing a blue skirt with a shirt on top. She was wearing a large glass on her face that covered most of her face. She clenched onto the book significantly tighter on her chest. She looked very terrified.

"What is going on here?" I asked, looking at both of them.

"Mom! What are you doing here? You shouldn't be walking around too much. You need your rest. It's the doctor's orders." Omar said, walking up to me, helping me walk down the stairs.

"I'm fine. Now tell me, why are you yelling at this poor little girl?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Mom, she is anything but a 'poor little girl,'" he quoted, rolling his eyes at me.

"Answer my question," I ordered, placing my hand on my waistline.

"She walked into the house without knocking and started to walk around the house, looking at things," he answered.

"What is your name? What are you doing here?" I asked, walking up to her and gave her a warm smile. She looked like an adorable child. Anyone would die to have a daughter like her. Hell, I would, but sadly life is not good with me.

"My name is Noor Choudary. I came to this neighborhood for my aunt, Antonia Kateb, who was released from the hospital. I must have come to the wrong house. I am sorry," she apologized with a sad smile.

"Then you should have checked the address twice before coming into this house," Omar snapped, rolling his eyes at the poor child.

"Omar," I warned, giving him the stink eye.

"What Mom? I mean you never know, she could be a thief," he snapped at her. I gasped, hearing this. What is wrong with this boy? How could he be so heartless? This is not my baby boy.

"Omar Khan, Kateb! Where are your manners, young man? I never taught you to be so heartless to a young woman or anyone in fact. I taught you better," I snapped at him.

"Sorry, Mom," he mumbled.

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to this young lady," I spoke, giving him a death glare.

"I am sorry for saying that. I shouldn't have said it," Omar rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's okay. He is right, after all. I could be a serial killer or even a thief. You never know. My apologies," she said with a soft smile.

"How silly of you! How can you be a thief if you are in your aunt's house, silly," I pinched her cheeks.

"What? My aunt?" she gulped.

"That's right. She is your aunt, Noor," A voice came behind her.

I looked behind her to see my brother, Khalid, and my best friend, Amina. It had been a very long time since I have seen them or any member of my family. I know Walid would track me down if he saw my family visit at the same location more than twice. He will get suspicious about it, so I told them to visit me less.

"How is my baby sister doing?" he hugged me.

"I am fine, Alhamdulillah. How-"

"Oh, Antonia! I was so terrified when I heard you were in the hospital. You almost gave me a heart attack. That stupid brother of mine. I thought something bad happened," she hugged me tightly, giving me a choking hug to be exact.

"Sorry! If you keep hugging me this tightly, then bad things are going to happen. And what did you say about your brother?" I teased her.

"Oh, did I say something about my brother? How stupid of me! What does that have anything to do with this," she laughed.

"No, you said something about your brother being stupid-- which he is true-- and this was the cause of your brother. So what are you hiding from me?" I asked, giving her the suspicious eye.

"Nothing," she smiled innocently.

"Oh, we all know you're anything but innocent," I smirked.

Whatever you are hiding, I will find out what it is.

I turned around to look at the girl once I held on my arm. I pulled her into a big hug.

"Noor,"- I whispered -" Oh, it has been so long since I have seen you. It felt like yesterday that I have held you in my arms. You have grown into a beautiful young lady."

"I missed you too. I heard so much about you," Noor smiled.

"I hope everything that you heard was good about me. Nothing was bad," I laughed.

"What are you still doing here, Nerd?" Omar walked in. I did not even see him walk out. When did he leave?

"Omar Khan. Be nice to your cousin," I snapped.

"Don't call me Khan," He spat the name, Khan.

"That is your father's name, Omar," Amina said with a frown.

"He is not my father. He lost that privilege 17 years ago," he yelled, storming back up to his room.

"Get back here this instant young man!" I yelled as I heard the door to his bedroom slam.

"He still hates him, doesn't he?" Khalid bro asked.

"Omar can't stand seeing his father or hearing anything about his dad. I don't know how he will react when he meets his father right in front of him," I sighed, shaking my head.

"I'm going to see if I can calm him down," Noor smiled.

"Thank you, honey," I smiled, "How rude of me! Come in."

"You said something about Omar meeting his father," Khalid bro said, sitting on the sofa.

"What! You mean you're going to let them meet each other?" Amina asked.

"I don't know. I did take away seventeen years of Omar's life from his father. I didn't let Walid see him when he first came to this earth. I feel guilty, but at the same time, I feel like I did the right thing. I am so confused," I spoke, rubbing my hands.

"You know what you should do? Follow what your heart tells you to do, but I think you should let them meet each other and get them to know each other," Amina smiled.

"Yeah, I know that. It's just I am worried about how Omar might take-"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM," yelled Omar from his room. I stood up, turned around to look at my brother, and Amina.

Oh, Lord! What is he upset about now? What was he doing? We got out of the living room and ran up the stairs.

"What is this boy up to now?" I asked myself.

We walked to his room. I opened the room. Ya Allah! His place is a mess. Flowers were on the floor. The flower vase was shattered into pieces. The bedsheet was taken off the bed. Clothes were all over the place. I looked at Omar, who was breathing fast as if he did some workout or something.

Where was Noor?

I turned around, gasping at the sight that was in front of me. Noor, pressed herself on the corner of the wall, looking terrified.

"Oh, Noor!" I whispered.