Ben and Becs: A Novella

Chapter 9: Ups and Downs

Chapter 9 

Bec’s POV

“There you go, little miss.” I smile up at her as I cap the nail polish. As all the boys played army, Poppy wanted her cute little toes painted like mine. “I love it, mommy. Thank you!” She peeks down at her toes and gives me a sweet toothy smile. I get up off the floor and sit next to her on the couch. “You are very welcome my sweetie.” Just then, Ben walks through the door looking completely exhausted. “Daddy, daddy!  Come here! Me and mommy have the same color! Show daddy, mommy!” She exclaims. Ben walks over and sits on the edge of the coffee table in front of us. His facial features relax and gives Poppy his full attention. We outstretched our legs,mine lightly resting on Ben’s knee. “Looking good ladies. You two have the prettiest toes!” Ben starts to lightly tickle Poppy’s little feet. “Wiggle your toes mommy, like me!” Poppy giggles. We wiggle our toes. “Hmmm, these toes look good enough to eat!” Ben teasingly pretends to nibble on both my and  Poppy’s toes. We playfully shriek and Poppy wiggles loose as the boys come running across the room. “Help me, Blaze! Daddy is trying to eat my toes!” She jumps off the couch. "COme with us Poppy Poptart!" Blaze laughs and waves her over. She runs after Blaze and her brothers leaving Ben and I alone. His pretend nibbles turned in a nice foot massage. “Hi baby doll.” He smiles. “Hi Handsome. That feels amazing but I should be doing this for you.” I try taking my foot away but he doesn't allow it. “No babe, I’m sure you’ve been on your feet all day chasing after our little ones. Plus, you can take care of me later in a different way.” He says seductively as he presses my foot lightly against his crotch before keeping it there and picking up my other foot. I caress his bulge with my toes just a little bit. “I would absolutely love to Benny. Why don’t you take a nice relaxing shower. Lasagna is in the oven and will be ready by the time you come back down. We’ll make it an early bedtime for everyone. No naps were taken today.” He sets my feet down and leans in for a kiss. “Sounds good to me. Today has been a day from hell.” He says while standing. “Oh, the kids helped make the salad too. They are excited to share it with you.” I stand up to go check the oven. “Can’t wait.” He smiles tiredly and heads upstairs.

 “Come on kids, I need help setting the table.” I yell from the kitchen. Seconds later I hear the pitter patter of a herd of kids coming my way. “Aiden and Grayson, here are the plates. Carter, you can place the napkins and Poppy you get to place the forks and spoons. Blaze here are the cups. Mommy will take care of the rest.” Each child did their task and for once waited patiently for their daddy to come down to eat. They giggle as they share their secret jokes as I fill our plates with lasagna and salad. Few minutes later, Ben comes down in a pair of basketball shorts and a tshirt looking a bit more relaxed. The kids tell him all about how they made the salad and all the games they played today. Even when Ben is completely exhausted,he always has enough fuel in his tank to truly connect and interact with our kids. And there is nothing more attractive than watching him be a great father. He’s definitely going to be taken care of tonight. 

…

Shortly after dinner, Blaze was picked up and Ben and the kids walked Buster before watching cartoons. “Okay, my sweeties, time for story time and then bed. Everyone march upstairs and get your jammies on.” As soon as the last tiny foot hit the top of the stairs, I bend down and whisper in Ben’s ear. “And I want you naked and in bed.” I kiss his cheek and walk away before he could respond. But I feel him hot on my trail as I make my way upstairs. He kisses our babies goodnight before heading into our bedroom. Luckily, one story was enough and the kids were out. I carry Poppy to her bed and tuck her in before I make my way to Ben. I find him already sleeping but he won’t be for long. I slip into our walk in closet and change into a lacy nightie before crawling into bed at Ben’s covered feet. The bedsheet just covers his delicious bulge. I slowly pull the sheet away and take in my husband. His dedication to stay fit and healthy shows. His body is a work of art. I begin at his feet. I place his foot on my lap and begin to massage. Barely a minute in, I feel his eyes on me. He tries to sit up and reach for me but I stop him. “Lay back and relax.” He listens without a fight but he lits his other foot and messes with my nightie at my cleavage with his toes.”Take that off for me.” His voice is so raspy and tired. I giggle at his sudden playfulness. “Don’t you get tired of seeing my boobs? I mean, I’ve pumped and breast fed all four kids. They’re not as pretty anymore.” I tease. “Never. I love them. They are perfect because of that.” He uses his foot to try slip the material over to expose my right breast to him. I give in and slip out of the nightie leaving me bare to him. He sits up to watch me. His eyes trace the planes of my body. His c**k coming to life. “God, you’re the most beautiful woman in this world, Becs.” I smile and continue working on his feet and calves. After a few more minutes I think we are both ready to move up his body. “Spread your legs for me.” I whisper. He chuckles. “Hey,that’s my line.” I bite my lip and smirk. “Not tonight.” I kneel between his knees to lightly grasp his hard c**k and lean in to kiss the tip. A small grumble escapes Ben’s mouth as he watches on. I begin my sensual massage of his c**k and balls. Firm but gentle movements make him grasp the bed sheets. Every time he does, I let up and massage his thighs or his abdomen before going back to his erection. This time I take him in my mouth and tease him with my tongue. “Baby.” His voice is strained and his head falls back. “Come here.” He reaches for me and guides me up so he can capture my lips with his own. He moves us so we are laying on our sides and he enters me to the hilt with one smooth motion. Our arms wrap around each other and our legs tangle together. We are close as two people can be. Staying fully seated in my, he gently pumps only to keep me full of him the entire time. I match his slow movements. His pelvic bone constantly pressing into my c**t. This love and intimacy is pure. His lips find mine, our kisses matching the slow speed of our little thrusts. We keep this slow, sensual pace until we both come undone together. I swear, s*x with Ben gets better and better each time. Sated and fully relaxed, we fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

…

A few days later.

“I just got off the phone with Eric. William’s driver. Blaze is set to come with us to the city. I’ll pack him some of the boy’s clothes.” Becs zips around our room getting things together for our trip. “Slow down sweetness, we got time.” I try to slow her down. Every time we go she turns into the energizer bunny making sure we all have what we need. “Its postponed until next week now. That prick just texted me.” I sigh. “I don’t know why we are even giving him a chance.” I shake my head. “Oh. Okay. I’ll call Eric back and make sure next week is free for Blaze. Maybe they will pack for him so he has his own things to bring.” Becs plops down on the bed. She looks a bit haggard. First sign of an oncoming dip in her depression. Every once in a while she struggles. “Sounds good baby. Will you be okay today? I can work from home.” She barely nods her sweet head. She knows it’s coming too. Maybe it’s a good thing our trip is postponed. I sit next to her and wrap my arm around her. “I’ll leave my door open. Just yell for me and I’ll be there.” I press a kiss to her temple just as the kids come running in. “Mommy,mommy! Can we play video games?” Carter asks as all the little ones bounce up and down. “Sure, baby. Let’s get set up downstairs.” Becs said, sounding relieved. Them playing will give her a breather. “Take it easy babe.” I whisper to her. “I will.” She pats my knee and gets up. “Daddy, play with us!” Grayson grabs my hand and tries pulling me up. “Sorry buddy, I have to do some work but I’ll play a game tonight.I promise.” I ruffle his hair that matches my own. “Okay.” He pouts for a moment before bolting out the door leading the way. “Slow down going down the stairs.” Becs chides as she leaves the room. Her voice is lacking her contagious joyfulness. Definitely a good thing that we are staying home this week. Hopefully this will be a short bout. 

Bec’s POV

Depression is a weird illness. I love my life. Being a wife and mom brings me so much joy and happiness, yet there are days that I struggle. I just can’t help but feel sad sometimes. All the s**t that happened to me left a scar not only physically when I lost my first baby but mentally too. Its a constant reminder. Some days, I cannot deal. Its a game of tug of war where I feel like I’m losing. But Ben is always on the other end bringing me back. Thank God for my husband. He always knows when I need the extra support. 

I head downstairs to make sure the kids  are set up with their game. They have their beanbags situated in front of the tv.  “Remember to take turns.” I sit and watch them play for a bit making sure they are in fact taking turns. “Can I sit with you?” Blaze turns around in his bean bag before he asks. “Sure, sweetie.” I pat the seat next to me but he climbs on my lap instead and snuggles into me. This precious boy has a hold on my heart. We watch as everyone plays. He played a few rounds in between snuggling with me. I force myself to not think about the lack of loving attention he must not get at home. I can’t think about it, not today.  

…

“Carter, please go tell daddy that lunch is ready.” I put together their plates and pour their juice. “Okay mommy. Come on Blaze!” I watch the two little boys bebop up the stairs as the rest of the kids climb into their chairs. Thankfully the kids have been good, but I am finding it hard to keep up and keep the cheerful facade. Shielding the kids from this is taxing. Bedtime can’t come soon enough. 

A minute later I hear little boy giggles. I look up to find Ben carrying the boys sideways under each arm. “These two rugrats thought it would be funny to sneak up on me and scare me.” He laughs. Fatherhood looks good on him. He sets them down dramatically getting even more giggles from all the kids. “Baby doll, come sit and eat with us.” He starts pulling out the chair next to him but I shake my head. “I’m good, Benny. Just going to tidy up the kitchen.” He frowns but doesn’t push it. The little ones chatter away telling Ben all about their day and how they cannot wait to play a video game with him. I know as they grow they will want to spend more time with friends but I pray they’ll always be this excited to spend time with Ben. “Mommy, I mean Becca. Can I have more?” Blaze asks. I feel a tinge in my heart at his words. “Sure, baby. You can have as much as you like.” I feel Ben run his fingers along my back as I give Blaze seconds, telling me he has my back. I really believe he knows me better than I know myself. 

The kids finish and decide to play hide and seek in the house. “Have a seat Mrs. Wilder.” Ben pats the chair next to him and then reaches for my hand. “I’m really not…” He stops me by pressing a gentle kiss to my lips right as I sit. He shifts so he’s facing me and continues to press soft kisses all over my face. All I can do is close my eyes and take in his love. “You are so amazing.” He whispers before he places one last kiss on my lips. He stands and proceeds to get me a glass of water. He puts the glass in front of me and gently tugs one of my curls and lightly prods my nose. “I’ll be upstairs if you need me, baby doll.” Like always, he knows when to press a matter and when to let me be. 

…

Ben’s POV:

It is a very good thing that I worked from home today. Heads would have rolled if I were actually in the office. I’ve been putting out fires all afternoon and evening. Scheduling conflicts with our two best clients occurred and our top competitor tried sneaking in to steal our contract. Not today though. We may be a smaller family owned operation but we outshine the big dogs. As long as I run it, we will be the cream of the crops. Fortunately Blaze snuck in before he left to give me a hug and I saw Bec’s eating a sandwich thankfully. Unfortunately, I missed dinner and play time with the kids tonight. It’s a very rare occasion but it has happened before. It’s late and right now, I’m ready to crawl into bed with my wife. I swear it's more taxing to work from home than the office sometimes. 

I check on the kids to see them fast asleep. Maya is curled up above Poppy’s head in her mess of curls. Buster is sleeping in the boys room since they dragged his dog bed in there earlier. He’s sleeping right in the middle of their room. Finally, I make it into my bedroom and find Becs curled up in a ball on my side of the bed. I quickly take a shower and sneak into bed. Before I know it, I’m out like a light. 

…

“No, don’t go.” Becs cries out in her sleep. I wake immediately and sit up in bed. Becs is thrashing around crying hysterically. “Wake up, Becs.”  I go to shake her shoulder and feel how hot she is to the touch. “f**k, your roasting. Rebecca, baby. Wake up for me.” She finally opens her eyes and sucks in a breath. “You’re here.” She exhaled breathlessly reaching out and touching my face. Her crying starts up again as she presses her face into my shoulder. “I am, sweetness.” Her sobs and heavy breathing turns into wheezing and she is still burning up. I ease us out of bed and carry her into the shower. I haven't had to do this in a very long time. We sit under the cold shower and I have her breathe with me. “Feel me Becs, breathe with me.” I coach. She is still hot to the touch. “What's wrong with mommy?” I hear Grayson ask. He sounded incredibly scared. I look up from Becs to find all four of our kids peeking through the bathroom door. Poppy and Carter are already crying. Aiden is holding Poppy’s hand like the big brother he is. “Mommy is fine. Go back to bed guys.” I’m met with more crying. I feel Becs pat my arm that is holding her against my chest. Thankfully her wheezing is lessening. She’s slowly catching her breath. Just need her fever to break now. “Okay.” I untangle myself from Becs and step out of the shower. Becs curls into herself with her head between her knees as the water cascade over her.

Soaking wet, I grab a towel and herd our little ones into their room. Hushing their questions for now. “Back to bed, guys. I promise everything is okay.” I tuck each one in with a kiss on their foreheads before making it back to Becs. “Baby doll, let me see you.” I kneel in front of her right outside the shower. Her breathing is back to normal but she looks terrible. I feel her face and she is no longer burning up. “You ready to get out?” She nods  and I help her stand and turn off the shower. I wrap a towel around her and she falls into my chest. “I lost you. In my nightmare. I lost you.It was the same nightmare.” She sobs lightly. “I’m here, baby doll. I’m not going anywhere.” I try to reassure her and hold her close. Damn this depression. And her nightmares. It's too real for her. It kills me seeing her in this state. I change and help her dress in my clothes.

“Lay on me please.” She whispers as we climb into bed. She settles in and I bring the covers over us as I position myself over her that is comfortable for the both of us. I stay awake long enough to feel her relax and her breathing to slow telling me she’s asleep. 

…

Bec’s POV

I wake up to little hands on my face. “Mommy, you dead?” Poppy asks. Her brothers are all with her. “I’m okay, baby.” I gently shake Ben’s arm for him to roll off of me. “Mommy is okay. I promise.” I reach out and cup her little face. “But you could not breathe.” Aiden whispers. “I know, sweetie. How about everyone climbs up for cuddles.” I pat the bed. “I get daddy.” Poppy hurriedly hops up onto the bed climbing over me to get to Ben. “Watch out for daddy…” I’m interrupted with Ben’s grunt. “Easy Poppy seed.” He rasps. She is always stepping on the family jewels. “Sorry, handsome.” He responds by patting my arm lazily. Aiden is next to climb over me and settles against Ben’s side. Carter and Grayson snuggle up against me on both sides. “We were scared, mommy.” Carter whispers into my ear. “I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t mean to scare my sweethearts. Sometimes I can’t catch my breath. It’s called asthma. But with medicine and daddy’s help I can breathe normally.” I try to explain. “But you were screaming and crying.” I hear Aiden say. “I had a bad dream. Everything is okay. Let’s get some sleep.”  I cuddle into my boys. “I love you, mommy.” Aiden whispers from Ben’s side. One by one each child of mine repeats those words, filling my heart. I feel Ben’s hand try to find mine before I place my hand in his. He gives me a reassuring squeeze. “I love you too, Rebecca.” He whispers. Just as we drift to sleep little miss Poppy decides to put in her two cents. “Daddy?” Poppy asks. I turn my head to see her little fingers poke Ben’s chest. “Shh..It’s night night time.” Ben replies tiredly. “I know, but daddy?” Poppy persists. Ben sighs quietly. “Yeah, Poppy seed?” Poppy is still poking her daddy’s chest. “Why are mommies boobies squishy but your boobies are hard?” My only choice was to laugh, which made everyone else laugh, well everyone except Ben. “Poppy Wilder, I do not have boobies. I have manly man pecs made of pure muscle.” Ben exasperatedly explains. “Okay daddy.” Poppy giggles. Our giggle fit slowly dissipated as Ben continued to grumble to himself. This moment helped lift that heaviness that was weighing me down. Thank God for my children.