Secret's behind closed doors(18+)

One past one love

Sometimes I wish that he was still here, but my pride won't let me correct my past mistakes. My pride just won't accept the fact that I care for him. It was also my pride that caused us to separate.

I walk into the bar with my best friend. "Come on, cheer up! You've been down ever since that stupid break up. He never deserved you anyways." No... it was me who didn't deserve him. "I didn't come here to talk about my ex. Let's just have fun." My mood and actions contradicted my words. I really didn't want to be here, I just wanted to crawl in my bed and disappear in my fuzzy blankets. "That's the spirit!" I never knew if my friend deliberately ignored my true feelings or if she really didn't know what I felt. It made me feel alone to no end, he was the only one who made me feel like I finally belonged somewhere how cliche that may sound.

My friend dragged me to the bar to order drinks. I didn't pay attention, because I wasn't planning on drinking. You know how friends can get sometimes, they drink their asses off and spill their guts out. The friend that takes care of them is me as you've probably guessed.

"Fuck." I looked at my wide eyed friend. She was staring at something behind me. I turned to look at what made her get so flustered, but she quickly grabbed my head and released a nervous giggle. "What the hell are you doing, let my face go!" I tried to pull away, but she kept a firm grip on my head. I used all my strength to pull myself free, but I used so much force that I fell off the chair. The bar wasn't full, so the sound of a chair falling to the ground grabbed everyone's attention. I slowly got up and straightened my dress. Everyone was staring at me, but I didn't care. I didn't care, because I saw something I didn't want to see. Of course I knew it would happen, but it didn't hurt any less. It didn't ease my constricted chest. The chest that's been feeling tight ever since the break up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to see this. I'm a bad friend." I broke eye contact with my ex and turned to my friend. "Don't worry. It's none of my business that he's here with another girl. I hope she makes him happy." My friend held my hand and gently squeezed it. "You don't need to be so emotionless all the time. It's not bad to feel." A dry chuckle escaped my lips. "Why would it be a problem if I'm the one that broke up with him? Besides it's been 7 months already." She just nodded, but the worried expression didn't leave her face.

The night went on with me avoiding eye contact and ignoring the men that were hitting on me. My friend, Sara, was flirting like there was no tomorrow. I didn't mind, I was happy for my friend. "Uhm, do you mind if I uh..." I smiled and gave her a quick nod. She was still hesitant to leave, but if there's one thing I won't do, that would be to hold my friends back. "Enjoy your time, call me tomorrow." I winked and stood up. "I'm going to the toilet and then head home. Bye love." I hugged her and walked away.

I washed my face with cold water and stared at my reflection. My face looked beyond sad, I could almost feel the dark and sad aura surrounding me. The door opened and the beautiful girl that was with my ex walked in. I ignored her and dried my face, but she stood still next to me and stared at me. I felt weirded out and returned her gaze. "Is there something wrong?" She tilted her head to the side and rolled her eyes. "You're his ex aren't you?" I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms. "What's it to you?" She sighed and rolled her eyes again. "How could he have ever chosen you? You're so plain and... boring." Why am I suddenly being attacked? I didn't do anything. I even wished them to be happy, but this little w***e is testing my patience. Which isn't much by the way. "Excuse you?" She clacked her tongue and gave me a once over. "I should be thankful to you. He realized what a real woman was after you. Don't worry, I'm doing him just right." I laughed and leaned against the sink. That took her by surprise. "Wow, calm down. Don't get ahead of yourself sweetie. No one can please him the way I did. It's a joke that you think you can even remotely get on my level. Should I tell you about how he ate me out and how he moaned my name every time I showed him what my tongue can do. Or should I tell you about the times I gave it to him so good he couldn't concentrate on anything else for hours. You choose." Her mouth hung open, but I wasn't done. "Next time you talk to someone like this know your facts honey. If I want I can swoop him away from you within a minute. Don't test me. I pity you that's why I'm not doing anything." Right now I'm just bluffing. I doubt he would ever want me back again, but she asked for it. "Shut up b***h! You're nothing compared to me. He'd choose me over you anytime." I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. "Wanna test that little theory of yours?" She glared at me and stormed off. I did a few breathing exercises to calm myself down. But it didn't work, I was still fuming inside.

When I walked out of the toilet two pairs of eyes followed me. I know it was my ex and that little b***h, but I shook it off and walked with all the confidence I could muster. When I reached the bar I ordered an Irish bomb and finished it in one gulp. The alcohol burned in my throat, but it helped my tense muscles slowly relax. I wasn't planning to drink, but I just needed a quick energizer. The bartender placed a deep blue drink in front of me. I frowned and started at the bartender. "It's from that gentleman over there." I followed his finger and locked eyes with a handsome man in his late twenties. He nodded and smiled. I just gave him a curt nod and pushed the drink back to the bartender. My mom told me to never accept drinks from strangers, so I'll just kindly decline. The bartender took the drink, but not before playfully scoffing at me for all the work he put in that drink. I gave him an apologetic smile and took my phone out of my purse. At first I'd wanted to get my revenge on that girl, but it would've just made me look stupid. So I decide against it and call for a taxi. A tap on my shoulder stops me from pressing the call button. I look to the side and the man from earlier smiles at me. "I see you didn't accept the drink." "Sorry, I never accept drinks from strangers." He waved it off. "Can I take a seat." I still didn't trust him, but maybe he wasn't that bad. "Yeah whatever." He takes a seat and quietly sips of the drink he brought with him. "What brings a beautiful lady like you at a bar like this alone." Instead of answering I turned to him and gave him a scrutinizing gaze. That was a stupid move, because he was way more beautiful up close. For once I was at a loss for words. "Cat got your tongue huh." He wasn't far from the truth. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." That last comment was enough to stop me from staring. "How is it even possible for you to fit through a door? That ego of yours must take up quite a lot of space." He laughed and shook his head. "You're right, I'm cursed with this handsomeness." I don't know why but his comment made me laugh. "O my lord, it can laugh." I rolled my eyes and gave him the finger. Very childish I know. He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. "Are you sure you want to give me that finger? That's not something a good girl would do." I smile and put my other hand on his chest. Our faces were super close and I have to admit that it was kind of hot. "Who said I'm a good girl." He chuckled and released my hand, but we didn't pull away. The air was filled with lust and sinful promises to come. A loud cough interrupted our heated moment.

I didn't expect my ex to stand next to me when I looked to see who interrupted us. "Hey, long time no see." Those few words were enough to confuse me. "Yeah... hey." An awkward silence rained over us. "Not to be rude, but why are you here?" He sheepishly shook his head. "I really don't know. Maybe I just wanted to greet an old friend." His comment stung, it's like he doesn't even want to acknowledge the fact that we've had a relationship for almost six years. "Ok, you can leave now." Pain flashed through his eyes. When he didn't leave after a few seconds I decided to kick it up a notch. "Aren't you going to leave?" He didn't answer but just stood there, so I grabbed the strangers hand with who I was flirting earlier. "Why don't we go somewhere private? My old 'friend' doesn't want to leave it seems." Apparently I shouldn't have done that. My ex glared at me. "You're such a f*****g whore." My head shot back in surprise. "What did you just say?" I asked in a threatening voice. "You're a whore." I scoffed and let go of the stranger. "Why do you care? Go and f**k that b***h of a girlfriend of yours." For a second he was confused, but he quickly regained composure. "Go to hell!" I harshly pushed him back. "What is your problem, when have you become such a damn jerk?!" My blood was boiling and I just wanted to claw his eyes out. "If you're going to cause problems, take it outside." The bartender motioned for us to leave. I was all too happy to comply. A breath of fresh air was all I needed right now.

The cool air against my skin managed to calm me down a little. It gave me enough control to fix this like the adult I am. "Don't ever talk to me, look at me or even breathe the same air I'm in. Goodbye have a nice night." It seemed like my ex calmed down too, because he nodded and walked towards the opposite direction. "Do you want a ride home?" The sudden voice startled me. I turned around and was met with the guy from earlier. Tiredness washed over me which caused me to let my walls fall. Tears filled my eyes and I quickly turned around. I never cried in front of anyone and wasn't planning to start now. "Don't worry you don't need to talk. Just give me your address and I'll drive you home." He looked sincere enough, so I decided to just trust him. I didn't feel the wetness on my face until he wiped it away. I felt embarrassed to no end.

I stared at the navy blue walls of my room. I've been staring at it for an hour now, thinking about everything and nothing. A loud knock on the door pulled me out of my reveries. Who could be at my door this late? I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, then I walked to the door and looked through the peephole. My heart dropped to my feet when I saw my ex nervously waiting behind the door. I pulled my robe tighter against my body and opened the door. I remembered the knife in my hand and hastily put it away. "Why are you he-" Before I could finish his lips crashed on mine. I didn't move from the shock, he stiffened and pulled away. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." He turned around to walk away, but I pulled him back reconnecting our lips. His hands roamed over my body pushing me against the wall across from the door. He let me go for a moment to close the door after that there were no interruptions. Long forgotten emotions resurfaced and turned into passion. "I really hate you, you know?" I just nodded and moaned when he sucked on my neck. "I really tried hating you, but I can't." He looked me in the eyes and I came back to earth for a second. "I'm sorry... I really am. I was just afraid and ran away." He nodded, that's all the confirmation we needed. His lips found my neck again, marking me as his like he's never been away. I grabbed his shirt and impatiently pried it off his body. He opened my robe and threw it next to his shirt. I was fully naked now, but his lust filled gaze on my body only managed to arouse me more. My fingers found his belt and I pulled him closer. Our lips found each other again and his tongue moved against mine. With a loud clank his pants fell to the ground. I just started at his nicely sculpted body and pulled him towards my room. He picked me up and gently placed me on the bed. His hard d**k throbbed against my stomach when he kissed me again. I was ready to beg him to penetrate me, but was pleasantly surprised with his fingers as they worked their way inside. "Let it go, baby." I took a deep breath and gasped when he flicked his tongue over my sensitive n*****s. His fingers worked on me expertly and his tongue heightened my pleasure. His name rolled over my tongue like a prayer to the heavens. But it was coated with lust and sin. "F-f**k me, now!" He bit my n****e and I moaned in ecstasy. "Not yet." I sighed, but didn't complain when his tongue joined his fingers. His tongue drew circles over my c**t whilst his fingers were drilling in and out of my soaking hole. I was so far gone that even thinking was impossible. All sorts of profanities left my mouth as he brought me closer to the edge. I was ready for the long awaited release, but he didn't let me. "Like I said, not yet." I groaned in protest and ached for his touch. He kissed me and held my hips in place as he filled me. I let out a contented sigh at the immense pleasure I was feeling. He didn't waste time and kept up a steady pace. I dug my nails into his shoulder and begged him to go faster. He complied and picked up his pace. "f**k, I missed your p***y so much." I tried saying the same but I was a blubbering mess, almost screaming his name as he thrusted his d**k deeper inside. "I'm close!" A pleasurable pressure built deep in my core. "Look at me, I want to see you c*m on my dick." I obliged and we locked eyes as my long awaited orgasm washed over me. My legs started shaking and my breathing became even more ragged. My vision clouded as my toes curled at the intensity of the orgasm. He however wasn't done. He pulled out and lied down next to me with open legs. "Suck it." He demanded. I did what he told me to do and placed myself between his legs. He grabbed my hair and guided his d**k into my mouth. My gag reflex kicked in when he reached the back of my throat. He held it there a few seconds and pulled me up. A string of saliva dripped down his shaft. I licked the sensitive part of his d**k and sucked at the same time. He cursed and bobbed my head up and down his d**k. His d**k throbbed when he reached the back of my throat again. "Damn this feels so good, but I want to feel your p***y wrapped around my d**k again. I placed my legs next to his hips and guided myself on his d**k. He grabbed my hips and pulled me down whilst biting my neck. My walls clamped around the throbbing d**k inside me. We didn't waste time and went full force. I bounced up and down until I felt his d**k swell. "I'm cumming." I sped up and enjoyed the loud groans leaving his mouth. He came a few seconds later and slammed upwards into me. This caused my second orgasm to flow through my body. My legs trembled so hard I wasn't able to move anymore. He carefully pulled me off his lap and spooned me. "Please don't leave again." His voice was steady, but I could hear the silent pleading in his voice. "But you have someone else." I pulled away when I finally realized what I did. "We shouldn't have done this." He stiffened and pulled me back. "I haven't had a girlfriend since we broke up, what are you talking about." I was confused but refused to back down. "The girl you were with today." He chuckled and pulled me closer. "She's a good friend from work. I see her as a little sister." I nodded and snuggled into his chest. "Then I'll stay..."